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Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

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Alright guys (and girls), it is time for an experience report!

Report is based on day 37.
Substances taken: Abilify maintena (662 mg), 50 days since last shot
Invega sustenna (156 mg), 37 days since last shot
Ergine (LSA), 10 potent Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds
Before reading know that I do not recommend anybody else to try what I always do out of adventurous spirit.
I grinded 10 hbwr seeds in a blender, pressing all the buttons on it, before putting cooled purified water that was boiled inside (1 cup), and covered it in a bowl with a plate on top of it to protect from light damage. I refrigerated this for two hours before filtering it and adding lemon juice before consuming.

In about an hour and a half I felt stimulation, and I felt hungry as I had been fasting. The stimulation was the kind that allowed me to get up and cook something. After making some Mac and cheese and eating it I felt bad for breaking my fast. I meditated for 35 minutes and half way into it I felt my chakra reactivate mildly. I could only last thirty five minutes before getting somewhat restless.

The trip was different from the one on day 19 because the akathisia was nowhere nearly as bad. Also, I was not getting bouts where I was being super sedated. This may be because I didn't swallow the seeds.. instead I did a cold water extraction. I did feel my thoughts change, the mood lift was very very muted but still pleasant. There were very faint kaleidoscopic visions which I only noticed because I have experience with the substance. Very faint geometric patterns and shapes too. It was a muted trip but the next day (today) I felt the mood lift there with me. I observed decreased anxiety but only by a small amount. I also observed increased akathisia, also by a small amount.

To summarize, almost no visuals on either day 19 or day 37 of tripping. This shows that dopaminergic activity is still muted.
 
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@ Yeshuah

Wow, your daily program sounds very disciplined.

I've only eaten twice a day so far. That's why there's only two times a day to absorb energy.
That's why i always had to eat a lot and my stomach was very full.
And the problem is that i've always got sodburn because of that, and i always
felt worse for a few days because of all the stomach acid than i did anyway.

Now i try to divide the meals into several small portions and eat ONLY a Little several times a day.



How is salt consumption with you now?
Do you consume much or little salt per day?
 
@germanbackyard I do consume salt here and there, but not as much as I used to. I use sea salt or himalayan salt. You don't want to take the conventional salt in the supermarket. It is really bad for you, it is completely artificial, has no benefits and even contains fluoride. @awesome31311 I have used it several times. It does work, but you wont notice a difference in your symptoms. And it only absorbs the toxins in your gut, it doesn't go into the bloodstream. But it can help your liver and kidneys. So it's not bad to take it if you have eaten bad or generally to help get cleaner.
 
to Emersonny and Yeshuah, thank you for some good options to look into. appreciate it. let you know if i get a hold of em and my experience.

@Yeshuah: yes and no, he is describing what it was like pre-poison and how he is today not being healed. i have done the same thing as what he is describing pre-poison and to some extent i think we all do, just maybe some not as aware as others.

so no, he is not healed yet.

yes, things return to normal just like they were pre invega/xeplion.

Empty1128 has a very active mind for several reasons (creativity being one of em). it is harder to live with a mind one cannot disconnect or ignore so to speak. i know the feeling all too well as i'm sure you and others here and irl can relate too (but it has it's perks ;)). good news is you don't have the same limited circuits to work with when your healed and it's much better than being where anyone finds themselves at now. it just seems different because your not in that state of mind but in a much less integrated one. like someone locked you into one corner of your mind. when you can roam about the house of your brain again you wont even notice it the same way as you do today.
 
Day 219

Feeling good today and I had a small workout. A few sets of squats, dips and pull ups. My strength isn't back yet. Especially for my pull ups but it is okay.

It has been more than 15 days without big issues. I had a lot of fun during my winter holidays.
Slowly getting there
 
zack365 said:
Day 219

Feeling good today and I had a small workout. A few sets of squats, dips and pull ups. My strength isn't back yet. Especially for my pull ups but it is okay.

It has been more than 15 days without big issues. I had a lot of fun during my winter holidays.
Slowly getting there
Click to expand...

It's not even fair that coming off the Invega does not mean your strength comes back to normal. The injection is torture for the physically or psychologically active
 
Everyone, answer me this

What do you define recovery as? There must be an objective basis for which we can define recovery
I believe recovery means being able to have spiritual experiences again.
 
I see the healing similar to yours, to be able to think, because right now I have the brain empty arch empty without thought, and as you say have a spiritual experience with emotions etc.. And be able to smoke Bedo!!! By feeling this sweet high!!
 
I define recovery as having my complete strength and endurance back, having a sharp mind and no cognitive disability. For me the ideal would be to return like before the injection and feeling even better.
 
If it helps, think of recovery as being better than before, not going back to your old self. Because, in reality, the latter isn't an option! Continue to grow. Keep your goals in mind!
 
The biggest bullshit I keep seeing written on propaganda websites is that the anhedonia is a negative symptom of the illness and not the med. If that's the case then the medication is making the illness worse

Day 39/90

Laying in bed I close my eyes and I can very faintly recreate psychedelic imagery. It's weak but it's definitely there, I can float over clouds, rivers, mountains, and even see light geometric shapes. Visuals are coming back for sure. Not sure if it is just the ergine not having left my system yet, or if it is actually the work of time that I'm recovering. Could strongly have to do with the fact that I've been meditating as well

I can enjoy music to a higher extent, still can't go through 1 hour long albums like I used to be able to, the music I listen to is more lyrics based, and I can feel pleasures such as eating food and sex. I'm still drowsy and have issues going to sleep when I want to (Invega induced insomnia). The shrink wanted me on klonopin but I refused, because this will go away when the invega does.

Short term memory is kind of muddled up at the moment, definitely the effect of the ergine tea. Considering how cabergoline is an ergot derivative, it could explain why ergine (for me anyways) cancelled the sexual side effects of aripiprazole completely.

My next trip is scheduled for late February (spring break). This will be 91 days after my last injection and I hope to have a more intense trip then.

The lack of documentation regarding these things is appalling but that's why I contribute to this forum.

Quora recently deleted one of my questions, when I asked whether Artane (Trihexyphenidyl) increases dopamine. It is unfortunate, but I bring that question here instead in hopes that someone may know.
 
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For me recovery means being exactly like I was before. I know people say that you don't wanna go back to where you were but I never had a problem, illness or disease in the first place, I only communicated my spiritual experiences and it was used agaist me. Recovery means being able to be in tune with myself on a cellular level, just like I was. I was able to control processes in my body through my mind. F.e. I could control the production of the "chemical" in my brain that makes you fall asleep. I would fall asleep conciously. Now it's more like an accident and doesn't feel like real sleep. I wanna be able to have access to my past experiences, memories, feelings so that I can try to make sense of everything that has happened to me on a spiritual level, just like I used to. I wanna have access to my knowledge, wisdom, vocabulary and everything I ever learned in my life again. I wanna be able to express myself through words and emotions again. I wanna be able to feel the same passion I used to, to the things I do and fall in love with myself like I used to, be the passionate lover I used to be. I wanna be able to have the sharp vision, hearing and feeling I used to have. Being able to feel fully alive like I used to. To have a purpose in life. To have the same feelings and insights when I smoke weed. To be able to connect to people on an emotional, physical and spiritual level. Having every aspect of my personality back. Being able to talk to god again like I used to and receive answers, signs and insights like I used to. Having all my skills back. That pretty much sums it up for me. @invegauser Is that even possible??? I feel like I used to be a superhuman...
 
@awesome3133 I think that's bullshit too. This last psychiatrist I had was ignorant to the fact that anhedonia was a side effect of the medicine. She stated it was my "disorder". Anything I said about the side effects of the medicine she was in immediate denial. Even said invega is out of my system in 6 weeks so it couldn't be it. She didn't even know the length of time this poison actually stays in your system.

I'll know when I've healed just the way @Yeshuah and @neuroleptique33 has stated. To be the spiritual person I once was, and to regain my inner monologue, because its debilitating. To feel emotion because I am an emotional person. It was my instinct. To regain my libido. I miss the intimacy, the connection. To be passionate about the things I loved in life. I just want to be me again. @Yeshuah you are superhuman. The next step in evolution is spiritual evolution. We are becoming more like God. Demigods. Reaching a state of god consciousness. The god in me sees the god in you
 
I would like to know what you think of this my thought: the paliperidone half-life is 23 hours if taken in pastigles, while it varies from 25 to 49 days if it is paliperidone palmitate, so to speak xeplion. Given that the molecule is bound to a fat base, it would be enough to make this be put in bloodstream and the half-life of this would lower significantly, even if the negative effects would be more intense for a period. I was thinking of making a fast to force my body to burn more fats so that the body supply ran out. I stopped the shots this month at my request after I read the information in this forum. A big hug to everybody.
 
Psychiatrists are vehemently opposed to spiritual ideas or belief in a soul.

Someone in here said they used Solitaire scores as a log of how well they were doing over time. For me, that would be playing Tetris

I just got a high score of 550,997 today, day 39/40

The flaw with using these as markers is that your ability is actually improving as you sit at home with the invega shot doing nothing but playing. It can be a fun thing though, don't treat it as a scientific marker because it's obviously flawed.

Dyskinesia and akathisia seems to be improving. Insomnia isn't any better. Going to take a bunch of melatonin pills tonight to induce drowsiness and force myself on a good schedule.
 
Moi j'ai l'impression la gu?rison est impossible, que je vais rester dans cette ?tat ? vie, cette pute de psychiatre ma tu? ..
 
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