Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

[Offvega]

Psychiatry is not accurate. They misdiagnosed my depression as schizophrenia. I can tell from my experience that a lifetime with Xeplion isn't worth living. Once the withdrawal process starts it's just a matter of time. Patience is what brings us on the other side. I'll probably never go back on my will to see a p-doc. Even antidepressants aren't that good in my opinion.

Day 122

This is the first day ever since the injection I felt somewhat normal. My motivation to exercise isn't completely back but it's fine. I can relate and confirm what you said Lifeafterinvega. Xeplion is an instrument of torture. Here given in France to rapists.

Hey Zack365, yeah I went to a new p.doc and the f'er wanted me on abilify while I was going through my invega witdrawals they have no remorse and don't give a shit it's all a game to them I had drug induced psychosis and I was forced to get 8 months worth of shots before my Dad finally listened to me and I regret not getting off this poison sooner now all I do is sleep 40 days off of it still recovering

 

[Offvega]

I went to the poison factory where I was injected and requested a copy of my shots log, I had three 234mg and one Haldol 100, so including the hospital injections I had four 234mg, one 156mg and one Haldol... Wtf...

My hospital diagnosis says "Psychosis" and those mother fuckers wanted to inject me for the rest of my life with the 234mg dose!

Such a piece of shit country I live in, I read they even inject women with the 234 dose... They call it Xeplion 150, so it sounds less scary!

Btw I will wait two years and ten months, if I won't have my emotions back I'll kill myself.

Empty that happened to me I was on drug induced psychosis and they injected me 8 times and now I am off the last shot for 40 days but it feels like it's going to be a life time before I'm better it sucks. They wanted me on Invega for the rest of my life telling me it was too soon to come off of it scaring my Dad to force me to continue taking the shots I had to research it on my own to know it was safe enough to come off of it because my p.doc kept scaring us to make me continue taking the medicine it's a difficult world we live in.

 

[Offvega]

I am feeling so much better after 8 months. I never thought I would get better during the 2nd month. Looking back on those first 3 months, it was like being a concentration camp prisoner in my mind. I was so suicial during months 2, 3, and 4. I no longer have suicidal thoughts and have got back creative thinking ability, good quality dreams, the ability to fall asleep and stay asleep, ability to exercise, the ability to feel emotions and feel "good" after doing something and the motivation to get up and go do things again. Like I said in the previous post, the only thing I am struggling with is dropping the weight I put on with invega. I was 150 initially and got up to 180. I am down to 170, but I can't seem to get rid of the rest. I started running at night, so maybe that will help.

But seriously, if you are thinking about killing yourself, which I honestly was when I was going through the initial Invega Hell....don't do it. Just wait it out. Do whatever you have to just to pass the time. Sleep it off if you must. I assure you that better days are ahead of you if you can just make it to them. It seems like forever when that horrible anhedonia hits shortly after the first injection, but it does go away and you start regaining interest in things that you used to enjoy. That was a big hitter for me....I lost interest in lifelong hobbies and just felt like everything was meaningless and hard to do on top of that. But it does get better. I had one 234mg shot in early February and I feel so much better now. So just hang in there people.

@LifeAfterInvega I am glad to hear you are doing better. I feel so diminished on the drug, I feel slower than I was and I feel like crawling out of my own skin, it's terrible that this was done to me, I don't know what to do sometimes I feel like giving up, it's been 40 days since my last shot, but I don't feel many improvements, how does one know when they are better? I can't wait for the day I'm healthy again and get all this shit out of my system, does it truly get better?

 

[Offvega]

Hey everyone, hows it going? I don't feel quite right, I haven't felt like myself since it's been about 40 days since my last shot, I know i still have a long road ahead of me, I hope it gets better sooner than later for me. I don't know what to do, some days I don't feel like I can go on anymore. I have to lie to my Dad because he thinks I'm going to take abilify ontop of being on invega, it's like they don't care the doctors just want you on more meds and to die in a sad situation of suicide because I know if I was taken anymore meds I wouldn't be able to function and I still cannot function as it is, why would they try to put me on another med when I already have so much invega in my system. It makes me so angry that I was put on this poison and that I had to keep taken it because I didn't know any better, I was too depressed to research and too tired to look, I was on so much medicine I was also on zyprexa and I couldn't even get out of bed. I hate psychiatry I never want to trust it again I cannot believe how bad it is, I would never make anyone take invega.

question to all: Did you feel slower when you were on the invega?

 

[deleted-user01120519]

Hey everyone, hows it going? I don't feel quite right, I haven't felt like myself since it's been about 40 days since my last shot, I know i still have a long road ahead of me, I hope it gets better sooner than later for me. I don't know what to do, some days I don't feel like I can go on anymore. I have to lie to my Dad because he thinks I'm going to take abilify ontop of being on invega, it's like they don't care the doctors just want you on more meds and to die in a sad situation of suicide because I know if I was taken anymore meds I wouldn't be able to function and I still cannot function as it is, why would they try to put me on another med when I already have so much invega in my system. It makes me so angry that I was put on this poison and that I had to keep taken it because I didn't know any better, I was too depressed to research and too tired to look, I was on so much medicine I was also on zyprexa and I couldn't even get out of bed. I hate psychiatry I never want to trust it again I cannot believe how bad it is, I would never make anyone take invega.

question to all: Did you feel slower when you were on the invega?

I felt slower and weaker.

 

[Offvega]

@Offvega don't worry it does get better, I was so fucked up I thought I was fucked up for good, I won't bother you with many details but I had parkinsonism, I wasn't able to move my mouth and speak, also I felt so impaired that I thought I became retarded, I really couldn't think anymore, both problems completely resolved. You just have to be very patient.

@Empty1128 how long did it take for you to notice things getting better? What did your friends and family think about your developments from the invega? how long were you on it for?

 

[deleted-user01120519]

@Empty1128 how long did it take for you to notice things getting better? What did your friends and family think about your developments from the invega? how long were you on it for?

I basically notice small improvements every week but at the same time it seems like it never ends. That's a bit frustrating but I do believe what those who recovered said, you just have to find someone who received as much shots as you and you'll know roughly how long it will take. I'd say you need at least 10 months. It could take a year, it could take more depending on how much efforts you are willing to put in.
I wish you a quick recovery.

 

[invegauser]

can we chill out with the f bombs please?

 

[invegauser]

it appears i've finally reached a steady plateau. all the progress that has been going on for me isn't coming in huge chunks separated by long periods of time where i'm waiting for the next one. granted that was a step up from having things being flat and void like in the beginning. slowly over the last month they've been gradually building on one another instead of being broken down as soon as they go up.

today i'm trying to get the structure of the association of things working again without the receptor being hindered by the poison as it was trained to do. it's slow and difficult cause of the atrophy of being a long term healer but think this is one of the final steps so hopefully soon it all comes together.

for me personally this is better than the first window. it's control, freedom and the first step to truly being alive and living again. trying to keep the right perspective by remembering i'm healed when i'm healed.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Most importantly, if you haven't gotten the message: Bluelight cannot help with suicidality. We are laymen, not medical professionals.

This is the suicide hotline in the states: 1-800-273-8255

If you have suicidal feelings, please go to your nearest hospital.

Recovery from any significant issue takes time. But I think what's being missed is effort. You need to start structuring your day with positive and productive activities. Start slow, and slowly increase.

I can recommend a few things to include in your daily schedule, things that have had me recover much faster than otherwise:

1. Exercise--purge your body of waste
2. Meditation--deal with the heart of the emotional issues
3. Socialize--do what humans want best, though few see it these days
4. Get something done, complete a project--you'll feel of greater worth
5. Help another person, one good deed per day, minimum
6. Write down what you're grateful for at the end of the day

These are some options. It takes about a month of daily practice for something to become habitual, so that you don't need much will at all to complete it.

Time, and more so, supplements, will not do it all. Do some of these recommendations, build yourself up and think about what good you can do in the present, not misgivings of the past. Move your focus to productive and positive things you are doing, and productive and positive things you can do.

 

[Offvega]

@Empty1128 nice job dude, I been getting yelled at because my Dad thinks I stopped taking my abilify which I never did because I don't want to be on anymore AP's so now I have to lie to my Dad and the system to escape this hell all while I'm still recovering from Invega, I hope this passes quickly.

 

[invegauser]

@Ho-Chi-Minh: thanks for the useful info and the reminder. well said.

to the room: in conjunction to what Ho-Chi-Minh said remember that invega/xeplion will induce suicidal feelings in us. it typically only happens once, i know what it's like as i went through it too, so did others who came before us and fully healed. it is not that we want to go through with it but the hope receptor being temporarily shut down. give it a few days, it is a temporary side effect/withdrawal symptom. we all have gotten through it one way or another. if you are planning on acting on it or about to actually go through with it please heed his post. don't let the poison win.

the feeling hopeless part doesn't mean we want to actually are suicidal, it just makes us feel like crap. no human was meant to feel this way all the time but it doesn't mean we can't endure and overcome this. venting about it is helpful to a degree but feeling bad doesn't mean you want to die, it means you want something to change. calling something what it is, is taking positive steps towards making a full recover. taking progressive steps will help you overcome this too. getting ones self out of a rut so to speak.

 

[iridescentblack]

it appears i've finally reached a steady plateau. all the progress that has been going on for me isn't coming in huge chunks separated by long periods of time where i'm waiting for the next one. granted that was a step up from having things being flat and void like in the beginning. slowly over the last month they've been gradually building on one another instead of being broken down as soon as they go up.

today i'm trying to get the structure of the association of things working again without the receptor being hindered by the poison as it was trained to do. it's slow and difficult cause of the atrophy of being a long term healer but think this is one of the final steps so hopefully soon it all comes together.

for me personally this is better than the first window. it's control, freedom and the first step to truly being alive and living again. trying to keep the right perspective by remembering i'm healed when i'm healed.

I can relate to this a lot. Something's different with me. I can't place it. While out for a walk just an hour or so ago I started to see this golden and yellow light in my imagination and ever since it's like a major piece of the Invega is just gone from my system altogether. It's as if a lethal parasite has been removed from my body and now my body is healing as it should have been.

 

[invegauser]

@iridescentblack: it's almost as tricky as that first window convincing you that you are fully healed right? better than just feeling better, something has changed, like why we stopped taking the poison to begin with but in reverse.

us long term healers will continue to take it one day at a time as the atrophy defines this limit.

that's why i say healed when i'm healed. cause until it happens all we can do is keep striving for the same goal as when this all first started. it is a perspective of sorts.

 

[Johnnypupuke]

I think the thing what everyone wants to know is why these quack bullshit doctors who are giving us this shit thinks it helps doctors are meant to make us well not sickthe mind boggles 690 days off this poison a hell of a lot better but still healing sad sad shit we will heal eventualy

 

[invegauser]

i think it's a point you bring up. i don't think it's relevant to the thread. i think it's healthy to vent every once in a blue moon about it but it wont help the healing process. venting about the poison is better, it's a stress release.

mods and admins are going to let you know there are other threads and places to talk about psychiatry. as well as somethings in this post and other points.

bottom line we're already on the poison and dealing with the healing process should be our focus. if once we are healed we feel we want to right the wrongs that have been done to us or correct the errors in psychiatry we will be in a better place to do so. for now it would be taken as ravings of mentally deranged considering we have a hard time focusing, memory issues, short attention spans, problems thinking, etc.

tbh i fend off the psychiatrists the best i can right now and i'm not even healed yet. i do better than i use to which was point blank "leave me alone" but still not back to my fighting weight so to speak.

is anyone else prepared to be more than just another complaining voice in the crowd?

besides you can't make people think. being aware of what we are going through and avoiding it from happening again while we give relevant info for those who come after us is a much more positive and more productive use of our time.

but i'm not saying an end all here. i'm sure we all would like to vent about it but i think it's better to discuss why we don't focus on psychiatry for now. i could be wrong.

what do you all think?

 

[deleted-user01120519]

Day 123

I was mentally prepared to heal in 4 months. As I move forward, I realise this was probably too optimistic. The bad things are going away but it takes time for the good to come back. The optimism, the good mood and the good memory. I miss all that as well as my true personnality. Most of the people who received only two shots heal by month 4-5. So I'll give myself an other month.

 

[iridescentblack]

Day 123

I was mentally prepared to heal in 4 months. As I move forward, I realise this was probably too optimistic.

I was actually going to post something last night that had something to do with that.

There were many times I set my hopes too high in the first stages of healing when a sense of some kind would come my way and tell me that I was about to make a change. More than 90% of the time these thoughts were misleading. Not to get you down; when you feel improvement coming on, with absolute certainty to the fact, that is when you will make the biggest strides. I learned to tell the difference between these two things by experience mostly.

It's important we focus on what we can do and not let what Invega has done or is doing to us ruin our daily lives.

 

[shadypenguin]

Invegauser and irridiscent Black, how many shots did you take and how long has it been since you?re last shot?

 

[iridescentblack]

I don't recall the exact amounts or dosages. Last 10 or so doses were low, though (117[?]). I transferred from Risperdal Consta to Invega Sustenna some time after April of 2014 and stopped in late may of 2015. That would have been about 13-14 doses... No more than 14.