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Mental Health Coming off Invega (Paliperidone, Xeplion) injections v. 7.0

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Invegaishell said:
Welcome to the thread! More than likely, like a majority of the rest of us, invega is going to be a long, grueling experience. Hopefully you make a fast recovery, but that is not always the case. Are you experiencing things like trouble socializing and anhedonia? Personally, I am 11 months off and still experiencing both of these. I wish you the best in your recovery process. Btw it’s cool you’re and artist I like painting now and then.
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I have anhedonia and dulled emotion, but it could be worse. I was a very emotional person before this.
I'm being very proactive about it because that's how I cope with things. I can still laugh and cry a little but like, one of my friends died a few weeks ago and I didn't feel her loss acutely at all. It's like I can't actually grieve. The worst thing for my other than the sex stuff is I can't focus on anything at all anymore.

My adrenergic receptors are coming back online.

Speaking of coping, I made a playlist about it. It might comfort someone else, or help them process trauma or represent how they're feeling too, so I'll share it here. It could be triggering though. I'd love to see reccomendations for the playlist!

 
I've reached the point where I've become very pissed off about my/our situation yet most people never give a single fuck about it. Throughout the span of several months I've contacted multiple different attorneys/lawyers about my case and the immense amount of suffering I went through but of course they either don't bother calling back or they say something along the lines of "oH sOrRy We CaN't ReSoLvE yOuR cAsE". It's complete bullshit that so many of us have to suffer every day, including new victims each and every time yet we can't do absolutely anything in an attempt to stand up for ourselves.

Of the countless side-effects that antipsychotics like Invega cause the only really noticeable side-effect is weight gain/gynecomastia and even so it's still nowhere near enough to convince them to resolve a case or sue that particular clinic/psychiatrist. During the time I couldn't sleep for months I desperately begged doctors to give me anything to fall asleep for even just a few minutes, even a medically induced coma for fucks sake. But of course they NEVER took me seriously and thought I was exaggerating and so the most they ever did was perscribe anxiety meds like what the fuck is that supposed to do for me? How many more innocent people will have to go through this living hell before action is finally taken against such producers of certain meds?
 
Baddream said:
due to some vulnerability or trauma in our past.
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From how I see it, it just contributes to it happening, since it can make mind process to be less organized and more chaotic if the person is not handling it properly and being unstable, not solid enough to their core. I've seen such people often try to seek solutions and make desperate decisions or develop shaky/harmful/unrealistic viewpoints or beliefs which are "built on sand", which leads to collapse.

Pain and suffering is an efficient way to face reality and be grounded & realistic. Take a lesson from that. That's why they give/made antipsychotics.
 
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Baddream said:
Me I am an analytical person I grind my brain alot overthinking everything. This leads me down a dark path sometimes because I always think of the worst case scenarios happening. Like a decision tree with alot of nodes
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I can overthink if I want to, but it doesn't bother me. If worst case scenarios are unlikely, I don't pay attention to it. Take statistics into your calculations and be objective.
 
t_xeplionhell said:
I can overthink if I want to, but it doesn't bother me. If worst case scenarios are unlikely, I don't pay attention to it. Take statistics into your calculations and be objective.
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I feel silly over my psychosis now that I think back about it. But at the time it seemed very real. The surrounding conditions contributed negatively as well. Overworked, stress, covid lockdown I felt isolated it was a very tough period. My mind started to venture into paranoid conspiracy theories like edward snowden and I kept thinking somebody was out to harm me. With the whole covid vaccine scare I genuinely believed the government was a monster out to control people like sheep. Many people have these kind of beliefs, it is not that irrational compared to how people on here view big pharma stuff. But in the end I started believing friends and family were also my enemies, that’s when everything got messy. I had more than a few outbursts and in the end my parents decided to get me sectioned to find some medicine. I refused to take the pills and here I am.
 
I think many people on this forum is making their own suffering worse by negative thinking and that’s what makes the difference between a slow and fast recovery.

The people who are optimistic recover alot faster and they recover 100% in the end because this is about being strong mentally. If you go back to previous threads you will mostly find that those who come back with positive updates were optimistic to begin with.

Not saying the side effects aren’t real, but if you live in total hell after a good amount of time, something is not right with your mindset. I believe we react differently to a certain extent, but for the most part we go through the same experience and suffer the same side effects.

I have my issues mentally that I need to sort out as well, don’t take this as an attack it’s just advice.
 
Looking for the brighter side, at least I had 27.5 good years.
I feel so detached from myself that I cannot see future anymore. No more dreams, ambitions or purpose in life - everything seem so impossible. So much effort to achieve simple things like living one day without the sensation that I rather be dead instead of living this life. Sorry guys.
 
naoaguento said:
Looking for the brighter side, at least I had 27.5 good years.
I feel so detached from myself that I cannot see future anymore. No more dreams, ambitions or purpose in life - everything seem so impossible. So much effort to achieve simple things like living one day without the sensation that I rather be dead instead of living this life. Sorry guys.
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So sad. I can relate. Life feels meaningless now. I can’t be positive about it. Life ruined
 
naoaguento said:
Looking for the brighter side, at least I had 27.5 good years.
I feel so detached from myself that I cannot see future anymore. No more dreams, ambitions or purpose in life - everything seem so impossible. So much effort to achieve simple things like living one day without the sensation that I rather be dead instead of living this life. Sorry guys.
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sometimes it is ok to be negative. Invega has brought me to my worst. Telling how I really feel makes me feel better.
 
Invegaishell said:
Same with me. When people go “just be positive,” sometimes it is impossible while recovering from invega. It’s like limited dopamine lowers the positivity in your brain.
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Someone said that to me the other day and it made me sick to my stomach because they don’t understand. Being positive is literally brain chemicals.
 
Invegatorture said:
So sad. I can relate. Life feels meaningless now. I can’t be positive about it. Life ruined
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I noticed that I started to use past tense (I don't know grammar so it may be not the correct term) to describe things that I used to like - in irl conversations.
Like any music artist, movie director, I don't know, anything.
It feels hard to say "I like THIS thing" cuz everything seems and feels so souless, you know? Sounds like a lie talking in this way.
Instead the correct way would be "I used to like XXX" or "my past self liked this".
My friend asked today "if you could eat anything right now, what it would be?" and in my head it was like "whatever, it doesn't matter and could be anything".
Then we were talking about things that drive our lives and I totally feel like every of my early objectives/goals means nothing today.
I miss having my personality. Feeling like an empty shell for 5 months.

It's the worst part. Feels impossible to be a positive person when you feel like nothing connect with you anymore.
I hung out with two friends this week and was impossible to have any conversation besides mental illness. It's been my only topic in months. I've been trying to connect to every of my olds hobbies and activities but they seem meaningless and always feels like I'm forcing myself to do something that my past self liked. In the past I was so passionate in my conversations, talking about stuff that I like. Nowadays it's such an effort to even talk.
 
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naoaguento said:
I noticed that I started to use past tense (I don't know grammar so it may be not the correct term) to describe things that I used to like - in irl conversations.
Like any music artist, movie director, I don't know, anything.
It feels hard to say "I like THIS thing" cuz everything seems and feels so souless, you know? Sounds like a lie talking in this way.
Instead the correct way would be "I used to like XXX" or "my past self liked this".
My friend asked today "if you could eat anything right now, what it would be?" and in my head it was like "whatever, it doesn't matter and could be anything".
Then we were talking about things that drive our lives and I totally feel like every of my early objectives/goals means nothing today.
I miss having my personality. Feeling like an empty shell for 5 months.
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I’m the exact same. I say “i used to like “xyz” when I was normal” now I don’t like anything
 
Invegatorture said:
I’m the exact same. I say “i used to like “xyz” when I was normal” now I don’t like anything
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I thought that my feelings would come back after stopping taking the pills. 52 days off and nothing, no improvement, lol. Abilify oral version has a half life of 3 days, 5x half lifes (15 days) to the body be completely off the substance. So it's been 37 days with no AP. I don't know, but should be any improvement by now I think.
At least I should be a little happy while hanging with friends, having a decent conversation without almost crying after talking about my life. Why can't I have positive feelings?
Everyday is like 1/10, the greatest ones are 3/10.
My life used to be 5/10 in the bad days and 9/10 in the good ones (75% I would say).
I keep asking myself if it's some kind of psychological struggle, if it's somehow my fault, not dealing in a positive way and this kind of stuff. But I don't know, if I could be good I would be good, make sense?
5 months struggling, everyday is like a battle, even weekends sucks.
 
naoaguento said:
I thought that my feelings would come back after stopping taking the pills. 52 days off and nothing, no improvement, lol. Abilify oral version has a half life of 3 days, 5x half lifes (15 days) to the body be completely off the substance. So it's been 37 days with no AP. I don't know, but should be any improvement by now I think.
At least I should be a little happy while hanging with friends, having a decent conversation without almost crying after talking about my life. Why can't I have positive feelings?
Everyday is like 1/10, the greatest ones are 3/10.
My life used to be 5/10 in the bad days and 9/10 in the good ones (75% I would say).
I keep asking myself if it's some kind of psychological struggle, if it's somehow my fault, not dealing in a positive way and this kind of stuff. But I don't know, if I could be good I would be good, make sense?
5 months struggling, everyday is like a battle, even weekends sucks.
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All days suck for me. They all feel the exact same. Pure suffering. I’ve never been so miserable. I won’t be here much longer if I can OD on something. Life is NOT worth living like this. I don’t believe in recovery for me because I experienced brain burning for over a month and not many can relate to that.
 
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