What’s left that you wish to recover?
Too many things. Anhedonia (numbness of experiences(music, food, going through memories, basically all kind of experiences), numbness of substances like coffee, etc), numbness/absence of feelings from emotions, I want to like my job again. I want to be able to like learning again. Anhedonia is around halfway gone.
My focus and concentration still halfway recovered – it su*ks like this it's enough to “function”. My memory is still not how it was. Perception of time passage I also want to recover, which is around half recovered.
My mood is still halfway empty, in combination with anhedonia it makes everything harder to do. Everything takes at least x2 more effort and more suffering.
I have to invest much more effort and/or suffering than what the result of that effort and/or suffering gives back. That's one of reason why it makes life not worth living.
While this severe anhedonia, itself makes life not worth living. Only what it's worth now, is for recovery.
I probably mentioned all of what is left.