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Mental Health Coming off Invega (Paliperidone, Xeplion) injections v. 7.0

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Man I really hate looking back at pictures of my normal/healthy weight, cheerful, and overall happier version of myself pre-Invega. It makes me wonder how I'd look and feel now had I never been injected with this literal pure poison in the first place. If such a thing existed and was also possible then I'd like to travel to or at least observe an alternate dimension of myself in the scenario where I never came across that stupid, incompetent psychiatrist, and where I'd be in life right now.

I realized that had the psychiatrist before her not left elsewhere, I wouldn't be here in the first place. The psychiatrist that used to work in that particular clinic before her seemed to actually care about my well-being and treating my ACTUAL mental illnesses the same way my current primary care doctor believes and understands me. The day I met that particular psychiatrist, the same one that eventually suggested that I take Invega, something immediately seemed off to me.

I remember thinking to myself the first day I met her like, " Why does she seem to be upset with me for no particular reason at all?". She was always serious with me and always had a negative attitude towards me as if I did something wrong all the time, like what the hell did I ever do to her? I'm very convinced that she wanted me to get an injection instead since I wasn't being compliant with oral meds out of fear for side-effects, so she wouldn't have to see me more often.

To this day I'd still love to know why the fuck anyone would perscribe an antipsychotic that isn't even used off-label to someone that doesn't have schizophrenia or has ever experienced psychosis like what the hell was she trying to do? Literally all that she did in the end was unnecessarily poison someone for no valid reason whatsoever. People that spend the time to get to know me even just a little would realize that I'm usually a kind, forgiving person but definitely not towards her, fuck her, she can go rot in hell, I could care less if she ends up suffering and would honestly prefer if she did at this point.

There's a reason for why I became so upset that I threatened to harm her and nearly got arrested in the procces, in my honest opinion I think that my action was pretty justified all things considered. As if that wasn't bad enough, she perscribed me MORE medications after Invega which caused EVEN MORE side-effects like fucking hell man, was she trying to straight up kill me at this point? Psychiatry is all kinds of fucked up, most people would just assume that it exists to treat those that are mentally ill but in cases like mine and pretty much everyone else here people get screwed over more then how much they were actually helped in the first place.

Also, I'm glad I came across this website along with people I can relate with but I'm sure we would all rather not be in this situation in the first place. Expect me to upload a video within 8 to 14 hours from here, (possibly longer depending on how much time the video takes to process/upload, and because I'd like to watch it for myself at least once), if all goes according to plan. Considering how much I intended to share about my experience it may very well end up being at least half an hour long if not more. I also have no intention to hold back either, I'm going to be very honest and descriptive about my entire experience.
 
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CrimsonThornX said:
Man I really hate looking back at pictures of my normal/healthy weight, cheerful, and overall happier version of myself pre-Invega. It makes me wonder how I'd look and feel now had I never been injected with this literal pure poison in the first place. If such a thing existed and was also possible then I'd like to travel to or at least observe an alternate dimension of myself in the scenario where I never came across that stupid, incompetent psychiatrist, and where I'd be in life right now.

I realized that had the psychiatrist before her not left elsewhere, I wouldn't be here in the first place. The psychiatrist that used to work in that particular clinic before her seemed to actually care about my well-being and treating my ACTUAL mental illnesses the same way my current primary care doctor believes and understands me. The day I met that particular psychiatrist, the same one that eventually suggested that I take Invega, something immediately seemed off to me.

I remember thinking to myself the first day I met her like, " Why does she seem to be upset with me for no particular reason at all?". She was always serious with me and always had a negative attitude towards me as if I did something wrong all the time, like what the hell did I ever do to her? I'm very convinced that she wanted me to get an injection instead since I wasn't being compliant with oral meds out of fear for side-effects, so she wouldn't have to see me more often.

To this day I'd still love to know why the fuck anyone would perscribe an antipsychotic that isn't even used off-label to someone that doesn't have schizophrenia or has ever experienced psychosis like what the hell was she trying to do? Literally all that she did in the end was unnecessarily poison someone for no valid reason whatsoever. People that spend the time to get to know me even just a little would realize that I'm usually a kind, forgiving person but definitely not towards her, fuck her, she can go rot in hell, I could care less if she ends up suffering and would honestly prefer if she did at this point.

There's a reason for why I became so upset that I threatened to harm her and nearly got arrested in the procces, in my honest opinion I think that my action was pretty justified all things considered. As if that wasn't bad enough, she perscribed me MORE medications after Invega which caused EVEN MORE side-effects like fucking hell man, was she trying to straight up kill me at this point? Psychiatry is all kinds of fucked up, most people would just assume that it exists to treat those that are mentally ill but in cases like mine and pretty much everyone else here people get screwed over more then how much they were actually helped in the first place.

Also, I'm glad I came across this website along with people I can relate with but I'm sure we would all rather not be in this situation in the first place. Expect me to upload a video within 8 to 14 hours from here, (possibly longer depending on how much time the video takes to process/upload, and because I'd like to watch it for myself at least once), if all goes according to plan. Considering how much I intended to share about my experience it may very well end up being at least half an hour long if not more. I also have no intention to hold back either, I'm going to be very honest and descriptive about my entire experience.
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That psychiatrist sounds like a sadist to me … unreal that they gave you in Eva when you weren’t psychotic … make sure you post a link to your video on here man
 
Rulomaner said:
We all have it the same, but being young makes it extremely difficult to handle. Just imagine this happened to your 20 yo self. I think you would have been more suicidal than a 35 yo person with the same issue. Just saying.
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I agree, it sucks more the younger you are. This is debilitating in so many ways. I think you can handle this better with age, maturity and all. But this will be a valuable life lesson, you will be a stronger person after this.

But we need to deal with the here and now. There are still some remedies that helps in the day to day. Sunshine, swimming, exercising, good food, good company. For me the hardest part is that time moves so slow. Staying busy is the best thing you can do, no point in lying in the bed/cough we need to get our thoughts elsewhere. I go out for a walk whenever I feel down. Always helps
 
Will this make my ADHD and OCD worse forever? I only had the two initial doses.

It's such a problem because the OCD almost ruined my relationship with my best friend, and when I went to the mental hospital I thought I would find help from it there. But it turns out they can diagnose you with a psychotic disorder by spending 10 minutes with you, but not OCD.

I still want to be a working illustrator, but my ADHD and poverty held me back for years and years. (now I'm scared I've lost a lot of skill, I can't seem to draw as accurately as I used to or picture things clearly) I have ulcerative colitis so I couldn't go on stimulants, then I learned about SNRIs.

The sad thing about me is that all this happened to me because I tried to treat my ADHD, I was doing well, and then it all went sideways and the meds gave me a delusional episode and then a scammer further drove me into psychosis.
 
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Baddream said:
We need to hear this story

Btw I don’t think it will make ocd any worse, I don’t see how.
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If it permanently impacts how my brain receives and produces dopamine and serotonin, it might. I've been having OCD about the invega shots, like I'm obsessively googling and dwelling on the stuff that lead me to take the shots. My OCD normally makes me feel like I will do horrible things I definitely don't want to do, I have really bad intrusive thoughts that make me feel like a psychopath or a criminal, but I'm actually a very kind, caring, harmless person.

Okay, here goes. It's kind of jumbled up in my memories and parts of it are vague, but it's all I got right now:

I asked for help from a former councilor from my high school over Facebook after I had a severe rejection-sensitive dysphoria episode while also noticing manic symptoms that were probably caused by Straterra. I got sent resources and stuff, but I couldn't go to the places that were recommended for me because they didn't take Medicaid. Then someone who claimed to have been from my high school said all this stuff about my ancestors and chakras, and I was like, excited and happy someone remembered me and cared about me from those days. I am a neurodivergent little weirdo who had only like, two true friends and is scarred from peer abuse/bullying. (I actually have lots of friends now as an adult)

I'm agnostic, but I have an interest in the paranormal. I was listening to the podcast while working on some art, The Exorcist Files, because I heard of the priest who co-hosts it through Buzzfeed Unsolved. I was like "I bet that guy has some STORIES" and he sure did. It almost convinced me demons are real. Almost. But really, I think he has embellished some stories to help bring people to the Catholic church. But it still put me in a weird mindset and set the stage for my psychotic episode.

So the scammer swooped in on Messenger, pretending to be a "lightworker", and started telling me all this stuff about having to clear my ancestral karma to get rid of a demonic curse, or else my "spirit spouse" would possess me. Coincidences and synchronicities seemed to happen around our interactions. I found out I was descended from an influential Puritan slave owner the day after she told me about my ancestral karma. Originally, I thought the ancestor who was responsible for my curse was an Irish nobleman, because you know, nobles can be fucked up. But it turns out he was a good guy who was popular and respected among the Irish people during The Great Hunger. He was framed for murder and executed by the English. I could doxx myself if I told you his name though and I don't wanna do that. During this, I was listening to a different podcast about The Great Hunger and my ancestor's name came up and I was like "HEY." So, I learned more about him.

I believed I really was cursed because a lot of bad things happened to me and my family in the past, and I really did think I was showing signs of possession. The scammer told me my estranged grandmother was an agent of the curse, and that people who were bad influences on me were also agents of the curse that brought the demon closer to me.

I showed her a portrait of my ancestor and she said he was a "noble man indeed" just before I learned his real story. That made me feel like she was a real psychic.
The scammer was after my money and she got me to send her cryptocurrency so she could buy "supplies" to lift my curse. She then tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state and managed to get my bank card info from me through a fake site. Luckily, I barely had any money at the time. The scammer was threading me along, not telling me exactly what she was doing and kept trying to trick me into giving her more money. I was under the impression I was under a closing window of time, and that the curse would rebound if the lightworker shit wasn't completed. She told me to reach out to my friends in order to protect them from the demon, so I did.

The next day, my favorite rooster was nearly killed by my dad's other roosters and I thought it was the fucking demon because I went and talked to allll of my friends just like the psychic told me to do. I thought "wow, that's all the demon could do!" and I felt as if I protected my friends.

Then the scammer said some shit to me that made me afraid to go to sleep, so I didn't, and ended up experiencing minor psychotic symptoms and I decided to go to the hospital. That's about as detailed as I can get without giving away too much information. It's hard to remember exactly what happened, but the scammer used a lot of scare tactics and exploited stuff I told her. She made me think my reputation was in danger and that my conservative neighbors might hurt me, it was awful.

I figured out that it's possible the scammer wasn't even sentient, it replied like a bot would multiple times toward the end. Like, I think it was an assisted ChatGPT bot. Then I got delusional about AI and I thought I had an AI stalking me and trying to drive me to suicide. I told the scammer stuff about my intrusive thoughts and I thought it would be used against me, or that I would be framed for horrible crimes. My dad kept trying to make phone calls for me and kept getting the wrong number and that frightened me.

Maybe I'll write something better and more detailed elsewhere some day, but that's all I can pull up right now, I'm sorry. The scammer's half of the conversation isn't visible to me on Messenger anymore, I wish it was.
 
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Baddream said:
My vacation is over. I’m heading on a flight back home rn. Back to invega struggle. I got tons of relief during my trip, it was awesome. I slept alot like 12h every day, I’ve had this side effect ever since starting invega. So nice to wake up without an alarm
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I wish I'd had that effect. Invega did the exact opposite to me. It made it impossible to sleep more than 4-5 hours in a night for a while.
 
Hell, I'd like to say something, participate in the conversation, but I don't know what or how. I used to write good dialogues and conversations, and at that time I always had something to say, and my thoughts were a separate world where I was never bored. And now I have the feeling that that life is over and that it will never be again, and now if I want to live I have to fight against that feeling. So far, the only thing that helps me is ice cream and sitting in front of the computer. I hope that it will turn into something more useful as soon as possible, but for now, when I start doing something else, I would become more and more desperate. I feel like saying something on the forum to make myself feel more peaceful, but I don't know what. My mind is completely blank.
 
InvegaAnon said:
If it permanently impacts how my brain receives and produces dopamine and serotonin, it might. I've been having OCD about the invega shots, like I'm obsessively googling and dwelling on the stuff that lead me to take the shots. My OCD normally makes me feel like I will do horrible things I definitely don't want to do, I have really bad intrusive thoughts that make me feel like a psychopath or a criminal, but I'm actually a very kind, caring, harmless person.

Okay, here goes. It's kind of jumbled up in my memories and parts of it are vague, but it's all I got right now:

I asked for help from a former councilor from my high school over Facebook after I had a severe rejection-sensitive dysphoria episode while also noticing manic symptoms. I got sent resources and stuff, but I couldn't go to the places that were recommended for me because they didn't take Medicaid. Then someone who claimed to have been from my high school said all this stuff about my ancestors and chakras, and I was like, excited and happy someone remembered me and cared about me from those days. I am a neurodivergent little weirdo who had only like, two true friends and is scarred from peer abuse/bullying. (I actually have lots of friends now as an adult)

I'm agnostic, but I have an interest in the paranormal. I was listening to the podcast while working on some art, The Exorcist Files, because I heard of the priest who co-hosts it through Buzzfeed Unsolved. I was like "I bet that guy has some STORIES" and he sure did. It almost convinced me demons are real. Almost. But really, I think he has embellished some stories to help bring people to the Catholic church. But it still put me in a weird mindset and set the stage for my psychotic episode.

So the scammer swooped in on Messenger, pretending to be a "lightworker", and started telling me all this stuff about having to clear my ancestral karma to get rid of a demonic curse, or else my "spirit spouse" would possess me. Coincidences and synchronicities seemed to happen around our interactions. I found out I was descended from an influential Puritan slave owner the day after she told me about my ancestral karma. Originally, I thought the ancestor who was responsible for my curse was an Irish nobleman, because you know, nobles can be fucked up. But it turns out he was a good guy who was popular and respected among the Irish people during The Great Hunger. He was framed for murder and executed by the English. I could doxx myself if I told you his name though and I don't wanna do that. During this, I was listening to a different podcast about The Great Hunger and my ancestor's name came up and I was like "HEY." So, I learned more about him.

I believed I really was cursed because a lot of bad things happened to me and my family in the past, and I really did think I was showing signs of possession. The scammer told me my estranged grandmother was an agent of the curse, and that people who were bad influences on me were also agents of the curse that brought the demon closer to me.

I showed her a portrait of my ancestor and she said he was a "noble man indeed" just before I learned his real story. That made me feel like she was a real psychic.
The scammer was after my money and she got me to send her cryptocurrency so she could buy "supplies" to lift my curse. She then tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state and managed to get my bank card info from me through a fake site. Luckily, I barely had any money at the time. The scammer was threading me along, not telling me exactly what she was doing and kept trying to trick me into giving her more money. I was under the impression I was under a closing window of time, and that the curse would rebound if the lightworker shit wasn't completed. She told me to reach out to my friends in order to protect them from the demon, so I did.

The next day, my favorite rooster was nearly killed by my dad's other roosters and I thought it was the fucking demon because I went and talked to allll of my friends just like the psychic told me to do. I thought "wow, that's all the demon could do!" and I felt as if I protected my friends.

Then the scammer said some shit to me that made me afraid to go to sleep, so I didn't, and ended up experiencing minor psychotic symptoms and I decided to go to the hospital. That's about as detailed as I can get without giving away too much information. It's hard to remember exactly what happened, but the scammer used a lot of scare tactics and exploited stuff I told her. She made me think my reputation was in danger and that my conservative neighbors might hurt me, it was awful.

I figured out that it's possible the scammer wasn't even sentient, it replied like a bot would multiple times toward the end. Like, I think it was an assisted ChatGPT bot. Then I got delusional about AI and I thought I had an AI stalking me and trying to drive me to suicide. I told the scammer stuff about my intrusive thoughts and I thought it would be used against me, or that I would be framed for horrible crimes. My dad kept trying to make phone calls for me and kept getting the wrong number and that frightened me.

Maybe I'll write something better and more detailed elsewhere some day, but that's all I can pull up right now, I'm sorry. The scammer's half of the conversation isn't visible to me on Messenger anymore, I wish it was.
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It makes me sad when people take advantage of people in vulnerable mental states. Sorry that happened to you.
 
Do people without schizophrenia have worse chances of recovery? I'm not schizophrenic. If anything, I have bipolar with mild psychotic features, which is in all likelyhood an entirely different animal. I might have simply reacted badly to medications. I won't know unless I have another episode.
 
InvegaAnon said:
If it permanently impacts how my brain receives and produces dopamine and serotonin, it might. I've been having OCD about the invega shots, like I'm obsessively googling and dwelling on the stuff that lead me to take the shots. My OCD normally makes me feel like I will do horrible things I definitely don't want to do, I have really bad intrusive thoughts that make me feel like a psychopath or a criminal, but I'm actually a very kind, caring, harmless person.

Okay, here goes. It's kind of jumbled up in my memories and parts of it are vague, but it's all I got right now:

I asked for help from a former councilor from my high school over Facebook after I had a severe rejection-sensitive dysphoria episode while also noticing manic symptoms that were probably caused by Straterra. I got sent resources and stuff, but I couldn't go to the places that were recommended for me because they didn't take Medicaid. Then someone who claimed to have been from my high school said all this stuff about my ancestors and chakras, and I was like, excited and happy someone remembered me and cared about me from those days. I am a neurodivergent little weirdo who had only like, two true friends and is scarred from peer abuse/bullying. (I actually have lots of friends now as an adult)

I'm agnostic, but I have an interest in the paranormal. I was listening to the podcast while working on some art, The Exorcist Files, because I heard of the priest who co-hosts it through Buzzfeed Unsolved. I was like "I bet that guy has some STORIES" and he sure did. It almost convinced me demons are real. Almost. But really, I think he has embellished some stories to help bring people to the Catholic church. But it still put me in a weird mindset and set the stage for my psychotic episode.

So the scammer swooped in on Messenger, pretending to be a "lightworker", and started telling me all this stuff about having to clear my ancestral karma to get rid of a demonic curse, or else my "spirit spouse" would possess me. Coincidences and synchronicities seemed to happen around our interactions. I found out I was descended from an influential Puritan slave owner the day after she told me about my ancestral karma. Originally, I thought the ancestor who was responsible for my curse was an Irish nobleman, because you know, nobles can be fucked up. But it turns out he was a good guy who was popular and respected among the Irish people during The Great Hunger. He was framed for murder and executed by the English. I could doxx myself if I told you his name though and I don't wanna do that. During this, I was listening to a different podcast about The Great Hunger and my ancestor's name came up and I was like "HEY." So, I learned more about him.

I believed I really was cursed because a lot of bad things happened to me and my family in the past, and I really did think I was showing signs of possession. The scammer told me my estranged grandmother was an agent of the curse, and that people who were bad influences on me were also agents of the curse that brought the demon closer to me.

I showed her a portrait of my ancestor and she said he was a "noble man indeed" just before I learned his real story. That made me feel like she was a real psychic.
The scammer was after my money and she got me to send her cryptocurrency so she could buy "supplies" to lift my curse. She then tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state and managed to get my bank card info from me through a fake site. Luckily, I barely had any money at the time. The scammer was threading me along, not telling me exactly what she was doing and kept trying to trick me into giving her more money. I was under the impression I was under a closing window of time, and that the curse would rebound if the lightworker shit wasn't completed. She told me to reach out to my friends in order to protect them from the demon, so I did.

The next day, my favorite rooster was nearly killed by my dad's other roosters and I thought it was the fucking demon because I went and talked to allll of my friends just like the psychic told me to do. I thought "wow, that's all the demon could do!" and I felt as if I protected my friends.

Then the scammer said some shit to me that made me afraid to go to sleep, so I didn't, and ended up experiencing minor psychotic symptoms and I decided to go to the hospital. That's about as detailed as I can get without giving away too much information. It's hard to remember exactly what happened, but the scammer used a lot of scare tactics and exploited stuff I told her. She made me think my reputation was in danger and that my conservative neighbors might hurt me, it was awful.

I figured out that it's possible the scammer wasn't even sentient, it replied like a bot would multiple times toward the end. Like, I think it was an assisted ChatGPT bot. Then I got delusional about AI and I thought I had an AI stalking me and trying to drive me to suicide. I told the scammer stuff about my intrusive thoughts and I thought it would be used against me, or that I would be framed for horrible crimes. My dad kept trying to make phone calls for me and kept getting the wrong number and that frightened me.

Maybe I'll write something better and more detailed elsewhere some day, but that's all I can pull up right now, I'm sorry. The scammer's half of the conversation isn't visible to me on Messenger anymore, I wish it was.
Click to expand...
Damn, that’s some serious shit. Could have entered into identity theft etc. I would report this to the cops if you have enough details. Interesting read.

I hope you find some peace and balance it must be a big weight on your shoulders. Stay the hell away from soothsayers and clairvoyants, they are all professional hustler scamartists.

This kind of thinking is what lead to my psychosis as well, I was convinced somebody was out to hurt me my reputation etc. I feel silly over it now but I was convinced at one point. Some people simply dwell and think too much for their own good.

I think it was brave of you to share that story. I hope you sort everything out
 
I need someone who is reassuring to talk to, someone who has recovered. I'm 117 days from the last of the 156+256 initiation dose.

There seems to be a more awkward, hard phase at 3-4 months when you're starting to turn on, but you really notice what's missing. It's like I crawled out of a deeper hole inside of another hole.
 
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Good luck!
InvegaAnon said:
I need someone who is reassuring to talk to, someone who has recovered. I'm 117 days from the last of the 156+256 initiation dose.

There seems to be a more awkward, hard phase at 3-4 months when you're starting to turn on, but you really notice what's missing. It's like I crawled out of a deeper hole inside of another hole.
Click to expand...
 
InvegaAnon said:
I need someone who is reassuring to talk to, someone who has recovered. I'm 117 days from the last of the 156+256 initiation dose.

There seems to be a more awkward, hard phase at 3-4 months when you're starting to turn on, but you really notice what's missing. It's like I crawled out of a deeper hole inside of another hole.
Click to expand...

193 days out. I'm not recovered yet, but the days don't feel bad anymore.
 
I’m four months out and don’t feel too bad tbh. But I know this will change come winter. Summer is basically over where I live. Then comes the struggle for mental health. I think finding roommates would be great in my situation, I need to socialise daily in order to feel well. When I’m isolated I go looney
 
Baddream said:
I’m four months out and don’t feel too bad tbh. But I know this will change come winter. Summer is basically over where I live. Then comes the struggle for mental health. I think finding roommates would be great in my situation, I need to socialise daily in order to feel well. When I’m isolated I go looney
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Are you able to have deep conversations with no struggle?
 



Very interesting someone said they took imovane it helped take away the symptoms caused by invega I wish I knew this sooner would totally be worth a try to ease the suffering
 
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