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Mental Health Coming off Invega (paliperidone) injections, v 5.0

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I had some MDMA yesterday. It worked. Vision started flickering and reading on my iPhone was a challenge. The high was quite euphoric and I became touchy with myself. Only weed that still does not work.
 
Micah444 said:
You know what’s even more messed up, is how blind the doctors are to the fact that it was caused by antipsychotic withdrawal to start with. So what do they do? Put you on more Antipsychotics. They aren’t trained in tapering people off of them and that’s why it’s so damn frustrating. Luckily, this time I’m not forced to take them and there not injections but pills. Still back to anhedonia land trying to desperately escape it’s nothingness. Antipsychotic delayed withdrawal syndrome. The struggle is real. They prescribed me olanzepine 10 mg but I’ve tapered myself down to 5 mg. What do you know they gave me 15 mg mirtazapine to stop the restless movements. Only been on both for 1 month now. Doing everything possible to come off them because laying around feeling nothing no motivation etc is not happening again with me I said fuck that.
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Have u been on invega in the past and recovered
 
How do you guys keep hope to continue moving forward with so many stories of people never recovering after years of being off
 
Gdvffh said:
Why did you take the meds for a.month? My plan is to take the meds then stop when psychosis goes away. So something like 2 weeks

So yeah ive been off meds since may. Im kinda content with how i feel, like i do some weight lifting, go for walks, did a short run yesterday. I weight 196 right now and im 6 feet. I want to go down to below 180 pounds and lose my gut, so im trying to eat less to get there. Im kind of scared of getting psychosis again. Like i got seroquel pills on me and i plan to take when psychosis comes, like i said i plan to take for a short time. Hopefully i dont feel so shitty after taking the meds for short time. Time will tell. Its odd how i feel okayish now, but when i get psychosis to get rid of it i may feel like shit. Like im not at meds atm but i dont feel like shit either. So i wonder if it will just revert to this, not feeling like shit but psychosis is gone.
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Because I was in hospital for 17 days and they switched me from voluntary patient to involuntary patient then discharged as a voluntary patient.
 
OLDTIDEN said:
I had some MDMA yesterday. It worked. Vision started flickering and reading on my iPhone was a challenge. The high was quite euphoric and I became touchy with myself. Only weed that still
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It will heal for sure...no worries..u want to get high? Well u will..
 
Jerry Atrick said:
Ognuno qui ha diritto alla propria opinione. Ho diritto al mio proprio come te e il poster a cui ho risposto hanno diritto al tuo.

Capisco e ho detto che i reparti psichiatrici non sono posti fantastici dove stare. Non ho mai detto che fossero al sicuro. Quando ero all'ospedale statale c'erano risse quasi ogni giorno e sono stato costretto a difendermi dopo che avevo programmato di cambiare sala. Non è stata una rissa, ma il ragazzo mi ha messo le mani addosso e io ho reagito in modo simile sottomettendolo e ho aspettato che un tecnico mi tirasse via. Nessun pugno tirato.

Sto solo dicendo che c'è una soglia per essere così lontani dalla psicosi e/o dalla mania che qualcuno è davvero una minaccia per se stesso o per qualcun altro e la migliore alternativa tra la prigione e un reparto psichiatrico è il reparto psichiatrico. Quando mi sono immerso per la prima volta nella psicosi e nella mania in cui non avevo intuizione e non sapevo cosa mi stesse succedendo, sono stato messo alle strette in una scelta di reparto psichiatrico, prigione o suicidio. Onestamente, ho scelto il suicidio, sono sopravvissuto in qualche modo e sono finito in un reparto psichiatrico volontariamente un anno dopo. Meglio della morte di prigione.

Sì, siamo TUTTI d'accordo sul fatto che Invega è veleno e nessuno dovrebbe mai essere obbligato a prenderlo. So che i reparti psichiatrici possono essere traumatizzanti, credimi. Ma il trauma in un ambiente sicuro è onestamente più sicuro del trauma per strada come quando mi hanno puntato una pistola addosso quando ero senzatetto e stavo vivendo una psicosi più mania. Come continuo a dire, essere rinchiusi in un reparto psichiatrico per quanto scomodo è meglio di una scatola di pino (o di una scatola di cemento e acciaio).
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No
 
Alright I've finally hit the 6 month mark (188 days) since last injection. Progress is going as follows

-Anhedonia is slowly getting weaker by the day. I actually look forward to some activities I enjoy doing daily (watch TV shows, play games with friends, take walks outside, go to gym), though I still don't feel as passionate about some things I used to love before, but it's certainly going to come back

-Emotions are getting better as well. Music is finally starting to have a certain effect on my mood, which is helped by some pretty good artists I've recently found out and enjoy listening. Just going outside and enjoying the colors in the sky and the sunset feel pretty nice too, although there's still room for improvement

-Can focus on any task at an acceptable level now. I don't feel the "mental block" anymore but my head still feels kinda heavy to the point where I have to take naps throughout the day. This could also be due to nutrition and sleep needing improvements and I can STILL get better about this in general

-Sexual functions are back to almost normal levels now, to the point where I don't think I'll need to mention this again next month

-Still take NALT, SAM-e and Valerian but sometimes I tend to forget them while I'm focused on other things and I gotta say I don't really feel much difference when not taking them

-Sleep control has improved, I can finally decide at what time I go to sleep and get my 5-8 hours every night

-I've already mentioned it a few paragraphs earlier but I'll stop updating about things that I feel can't improve further than they already have, which means I will be 100% recovered when I have absolutely nothing else to talk about anymore

I thought and wrote all this at incredible speeds too which is a sign of mental readiness and speed really coming back


See ya next month ig
 
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EsseWasGreat said:
Alright I've finally hit the 6 month mark (188 days) since last injection. Progress is going as follows

-Anhedonia is slowly getting weaker by the day. I actually look forward to some activities I enjoy doing daily (watch TV shows, play games with friends, take walks outside, go to gym), though I still don't feel as passionate about some things I used to love before, but it's certainly going to come back

-Emotions are getting better as well. Music is finally starting to have a certain effect on my mood, which is helped by some pretty good artists I've recently found out and enjoy listening. Just going outside and enjoying the colors in the sky and the sunset feel pretty nice too, although there's still room for improvement

-Can focus on any task at an acceptable level now. I don't feel the "mental block" anymore but my head still feels kinda heavy to the point where I have to take naps throughout the day. This could also be due to nutrition and sleep needing improvements and I can STILL get better about this in general

-Sexual functions are back to almost normal levels now, to the point where I don't think I'll need to mention this again next month

-Still take NALT, SAM-e and Valerian but sometimes I tend to forget them while I'm focused on other things and I gotta say I don't really feel much difference when not taking them

-Sleep control has improved, I can finally decide at what time I go to sleep and get my 5-8 hours every night

-I've already mentioned it a few paragraphs earlier but I'll stop updating about things that I feel can't improve further than they already have, which means I will be 100% recovered when I have absolutely nothing else to talk about anymore

I thought and wrote all this at incredible speeds too which is a sign of mental readiness and speed really coming back


See ya next month ig
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I still have sleep issues but it has improved a lot.
 
Jerry Atrick said:
Everyone here is entitled to their own opinion. I'm entitled to mine just like you and the poster I replied to are entitled to yours.

I understand and said that psych wards are not great places to be. I never said they were safe either. When I was in the state hospital there were fights almost every day and I was forced to defend myself after I was scheduled to change halls. It wasn't a fight but the guy put his hands on me and I retaliated in kind by subduing him and waited for a tech to pull me away. No punches thrown.

I'm just saying there is a threshold of being so far into psychosis and/or mania that someone really is a threat to themselves or someone else and the best alternative between jail and a psych ward is the psych ward. When I was first deep into psychosis and mania where I had zero insight and did not know what was happening to me, I got cornered into a choice of psych ward, prison, or suicide. Honestly, I chose suicide, survived it somehow, and ended up in a psych ward voluntarily a year later. Better than death of prison.

Yes, we can ALL agree that Invega is poison and no one should ever be made to take it. I know psych wards can be traumatizing, believe me. But trauma in a secure environment is honestly safer than trauma on the streets like when I had a gun pulled on me when I was homeless and experiencing psychosis plus mania. Like I keep saying, being locked in a psych ward however inconvenient is better than a pine box (or a concrete and steel box).
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Jail is better than invega sorry
 
EsseWasGreat said:
Alright I've finally hit the 6 month mark (188 days) since last injection. Progress is going as follows

-Anhedonia is slowly getting weaker by the day. I actually look forward to some activities I enjoy doing daily (watch TV shows, play games with friends, take walks outside, go to gym), though I still don't feel as passionate about some things I used to love before, but it's certainly going to come back

-Emotions are getting better as well. Music is finally starting to have a certain effect on my mood, which is helped by some pretty good artists I've recently found out and enjoy listening. Just going outside and enjoying the colors in the sky and the sunset feel pretty nice too, although there's still room for improvement

-Can focus on any task at an acceptable level now. I don't feel the "mental block" anymore but my head still feels kinda heavy to the point where I have to take naps throughout the day. This could also be due to nutrition and sleep needing improvements and I can STILL get better about this in general

-Sexual functions are back to almost normal levels now, to the point where I don't think I'll need to mention this again next month

-Still take NALT, SAM-e and Valerian but sometimes I tend to forget them while I'm focused on other things and I gotta say I don't really feel much difference when not taking them

-Sleep control has improved, I can finally decide at what time I go to sleep and get my 5-8 hours every night

-I've already mentioned it a few paragraphs earlier but I'll stop updating about things that I feel can't improve further than they already have, which means I will be 100% recovered when I have absolutely nothing else to talk about anymore

I thought and wrote all this at incredible speeds too which is a sign of mental readiness and speed really coming back


See ya next month ig
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Do you dream at night? Dreaming at night is medicine for the soul!
 
I've noticed some improvement in the last few days.
I'm more ok with boredom, where before, boredom used to make me mad as hell and I couldn't stand it. It was really hard to enjoy the moment.
Now simply sitting and doing nothing feels fine (How it supposed to be) and time goes by faster now it seems.
My patience to do things I used to love still haven't improved tho.
I will update as soon as I get another breakthrough...
 
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@Dre87 im sorry to hear that you lost your job. I really respect your optimism and drive and hope things will turn out well at your new one.

Because of my husband we were able to retain possession of our house near Tacoma WA through all this experience. We sold it in July to move back to the midwest where he's from. Real estate in WA is ridiculous so we were able to get a very nice home compared to what we had previously. I think that it's been very good for me to disconnect from my family through this process. One of the reasons I quit therapy in 2021 was because I was tired of the subject always going back to my mother. When my brother passed away in 2017 I was sort of forced to take the role of family catalyst to hold our formerly close unit together. This created a large amount of emotional weight- when I had my first break with reality in September 2018, I was expected to not only play catalyst but also scapegoat, taking and holding the blame for every negative aspect in the family dynamic. My mother encouraged my brother and sister to sever from me and at the same time shamed me for causing that severance through my mental break. Freeing myself from this shame and weight will , I hope, have a cathartic effect on me and hoepfully free me from some persecution complex style feelings i seem to have developed to cope with this dynamic. I feel hopeful for the future here in IL and still hold out that I'll never experience another psychotic break. I have one year left on the GI bill that I received in my 2015 divorce. I think I'll use it to study art - I completed my junior year for my business BA with decent grades but I really hated the program. Before my brother passed away my goal was to do art professionally after my divorce. I had taken a lot of classes, networked and did a few cons. I'm going to try to continue this in an urban area instead of the isolated rural area I previously lived in.
 
I wish i could smoke weed too...i used to love smoking pot,and listen massive attack or something like tool maybe...and im a musician also...when i was smoking weed while making music ,sound was literrly magical to my ears ,and all those exploration..man i really miss the old days...now when i smoke ,i get confused ,get weird uncomfortable feeling ...
 
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