Mental Health Coming off Invega (paliperidone) injections, v 5.0

[UnluckyXeplion]

A ridiculous amount, four years worth, not all of them were consecutive, but one every month for four years worth of time plus some loading doses. Invega at 117mg then eventually lowered to like 75 or something for 3 years, Abilify at 400mg lowered to 300mg for one year. People here want to kill themselves after several injections..I've been through the shit believe me..right now I choose to fight..hard, there are some quotes I heard. 'When the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of change, then you will change.'..and one from Fight Club, 'It's only after you've lost everything that you're truly free to do anything.'..

I'm sorry to hear that.
Are you on any other meds right now?

 

[UnluckyXeplion]

If it happens that I absolutely fail in the working world and am facing homelessness or something, then maybe I'd try to get it, and if I do I'd try to lie about taking any of their medications..

I received disability benefits recently, so besides my job, I'm also getting paid extra each month from the government.
I don't take my pills and hopefully nobody can check for it.

 

[Dre87]

I'm sorry to hear that.
Are you on any other meds right now?

No, I refuse to take any, the injections sort of have a built in taper, but they also seem to do more damage than taking the pills. I'm just gonna try to detox from it, while at the same time taking my own drugs, ha..the good ones.

 

[UnluckyXeplion]

No, I refuse to take any, the injections sort of have a built in taper, but they also seem to do more damage than taking the pills. I'm just gonna try to detox from it, while at the same time taking my own drugs, ha..the good ones.

Do you mean weed? I hope you can feel it...
And why did you take injections for so long? was it forced on you?

 

[Dre87]

Do you mean weed? I hope you can feel it...
And why did you take injections for so long? was it forced on you?

People say they can't feel alcohol or weed from the injections, no I do definitely feel something from it, probably not the same as before and it's not really as enjoyable, but something..no not just weed but also harder stuff than that..if it starts to become too much of a problem then I'd quit, like if I was about to lose my job or something, but if I quit and have to do this whole shit sober, well at least Id still drink alcohol, but without everything else that would just really freakin suck ass.

 

[Dre87]

It would take a whole 'nother level of mental strength to continue to live and do stuff after those injections most likely damaged your brain in some way, especially if you've had alot of them like me, and be completely sober the whole time, I almost think it isn't quite necessary and you can take some substances and drugs. Lets give those psychiatrists the injections and see what they do after..besides all of that though I was told that psilocybin mushrooms, aka shrooms is what you really want for this kind of thing and it can do something to heal the brain..

 

[UnluckyXeplion]

It would take a whole 'nother level of mental strength to continue to live and do stuff after those injections most likely damaged your brain in some way, especially if you've had alot of them like me, and be completely sober the whole time, I almost think it isn't quite necessary and you can take some substances and drugs. Lets give those psychiatrists the injections and see what they do after..besides all of that though I was told that psilocybin mushrooms, aka shrooms is what you really want for this kind of thing and it can do something to heal the brain..

I don't think any substance can heal the brain from Paliperidone but time. You just have to wait for healing to happen.
I don't think that taking St. John Wort does anything tbh.

 

[Dre87]

I don't think any substance can heal the brain from Paliperidone but time. You just have to wait for healing to happen.
I don't think that taking St. John Wort does anything tbh.

Not really psilocybin mushrooms can create new connections in the brain and I think they found stimulate neurogenesis or some things like that. Definitely worth a shot I'd say at least to microdose.

 

[Dre87]

After you've been damaged enough by these psychiatric drugs to still 'succeed' like normal people might take an almost inhuman level of self-discipline, and sacrifice, that's why I also say to maybe consider doing the other external substances too..you have to have rage and fury at what they did to you and your situation in life and resolve to single-mindedly annihilate anything that stands in your way. Don't be stupid and get life in prison or something though obviously, ha..

 

[UnluckyXeplion]

After you've been damaged enough by these psychiatric drugs to still 'succeed' like normal people might take an almost inhuman level of self-discipline, and sacrifice, that's why I also say to maybe consider doing the other external substances too..you have to have rage and fury at what they did to you and your situation in life and resolve to single-mindedly annihilate anything that stands in your way. Don't be stupid and get life in prison or something though obviously, ha..

All I do most of the day is remembering how I was before I received the injections.
How my sex drive and performance was, how I used to enjoy the little things in life and everything was magical for me instead of flat and grey.
The psychotic aspect of life, the one that makes life look like magic or a story is now gone because of these injections.
That's what I miss the most and I hope it comes back with recovery, otherwise at least let my brain enjoy some high from weed to make it similar experience.

 

[Dre87]

My parents helped me out a hell of a lot though, and I heard that alot of people who get sent to the mental facility their family doesn't want them back. When I was at the facility the last time I told them I wanted to live on my own and they offered me to go live in this special housing when I got out, but I'd still have to take the court-ordered injections. I went to hang out with a dude I met at the facility at a time before that and they put him in one of those places. You had to sign in any guests and they had to leave by like 9 or something, and they also did a random room inspection on us, they didn't find the two tall empty beer cans in the fridge..

 

[Dre87]

All I do most of the day is remembering how I was before I received the injections.
How my sex drive and performance was, how I used to enjoy the little things in life and everything was magical for me instead of flat and grey.
The psychotic aspect of life, the one that makes life look like magic or a story is now gone because of these injections.
That's what I miss the most and I hope it comes back with recovery, otherwise at least let my brain enjoy some high from weed to make it similar experience.

I remember like 5 or 6 times in my life that I was truly happy without any substances, and taking anything would actually just have taken away from it..some of the experiences were super profound and spiritual, and I'll probably never experience something like that again..yeah emotions were like magic. Now it's something pretty different. What keeps me going nowadays is alot of rage, and alot of defiance, and nowadays even though I didn't have them to escape the injections at the time, quite a bit of balls too. And besides all of that I don't even like weed that much anyways but I still smoke it, looks like I still get something out of it, some sort of altered state of consciousness that takes me out of the normal reality for a bit I guess..

 

[Dre87]

A bit more about me, I was depressed or in psychosis for periods of time of like 6 months to almost a year and also didn't do shit at all during that time, I was one of those hikkikomori, the 'loser' adult children not doing anything living with their parents in Japan. I hate labels like that though too by the way, but there were several of those periods of time all throughout my 20's..I was taken to a mental facility like 6 times before, and have taken a whole bunch of those injections..little do any of you maybe know but I was making out with hot chicks like a year before then, yeah..I'm that guy. I was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder and bipolar. They assume a certain level of functionality but I've worked 50 hour weeks before and drove from AZ to Texas in the past too. I wrestled for a season and did a bit of swimming in highschool, I have two Associate's degrees in computer stuff. I don't know, I just kept falling hard..

 

[Dre87]

I came to the U.S. from Uzbekistan as a kid, do any of you know where that is? ha..I speak Russian fluently. Nahu cyka blyat..I actually am an agent and was this whole time. I was sent by Putin, you know what happened to Ukraine? What do you think will happen to America?..I'm j/k if you didn't realize..but those people are different. They have great ancestral power you can tap into, otherwordly almost to describe it somehow. Like having an alter ego named 'Ivan' who's a Russian mafiozi gangster when you need it. Ha..you just gotta be in the 'zone'..

 

[Dre87]

In the movie Rocky 4 Apollo Creed dies in the ring after refusing to throw in the towel in the boxing match he was getting killed in because he talked so much shit and had to preserve his honor. I might have to do something similar someday myself..

 

[Dre87]

I guess this is what happens if you don't kill yourself for long enough, it looks like some didn't stick around this far to see how the movie turns out..apparently you just might find that there's something else there, and you might just become fucken Neo in the Matrix a bit..yeah..

They talk about 'crisis' leaders like Winston Churchill who suffered from depression, they might be normally messed up but in a crisis they're the only level headed ones and take control and save everything..It's payday, payback, all that..

 

[Dre87]

I'm also saying that if you're lost at sea and drowning for long enough and you reach out for something sometimes you might find that there's something else there..in an absolutely hopeless situation..I've seen the beginnings of this, and will continue to pursue it further as long as I can. It's like, hold the phone, what? There's something else there?..What, that and with the knowledge that a spiritual reality exists, seeing through the mind-control of mainstream society and what's really been going on, working out and getting sunlight and eating better and getting sleep, and doing something like psychedelics might start to change things too. And then the hard part that I have trouble with to this day, to have discipline and sacrifice to get to where you want to be, you can't fit through the eye of the needle if you're too fat..

 

[Dre87]

Do you mean weed? I hope you can feel it...
And why did you take injections for so long? was it forced on you?

Yeah it was forced on me, the court orders were only for a year, but I kept fucking up and acting crazy or whatever and kept getting sent back there to the mental facility and them either extending my court order or giving me another one. The first year of court order I was also on probation and leaving the state would've made me a fugitive. My last court order I seriously considered leaving the state, but didn't have the balls to do that and be homeless, how many people would've ended up leaving or staying, like 50/50?..If I somehow royally fuck up and get on another court order again it will be five years worth of injections by the end of it and I would absolutely have to leave the state, on top of other things, I would have to be Apollo Creed and die in the ring..

 

[Dre87]

This week I woke up around 4:30am to work the early morning shift at my new job. When I got out of bed I'd take like 5 hits of a few various substances to the dome, this would help me wake up hella, then do a quick 1 set workout actually to get warmed up and to get ready for the day, I didn't like working out when I woke up like that ever especially early, but I heard someone say that working out in the morning can help to be like 'armoring your mind' for the day, and I liked that, because lord knows I've had a bunch of shitty days at work or wherever before.

At this job you're assembling these laser engraving machines, one of them was going to the USS Iwo Jima the old battleship it looked like, one was going to Harvard University, and several were going to Japan. You're screwing alot of screws in place you can put it that way. At times the work is hard and you have to continually keep pushing yourself to keep moving and getting the things done even if slowly. You're definitely moving around alot all day, but also sitting to do some paperwork too. The corners of my fingers by the fingernails are all sore or have a small cut from the work and bother you when you're trying to do something constantly, might have to start taping my fingers or something. While laying down to screw something in I started to get nauseous for some reason and sometimes after work it would continue for some time, don't know what that was and am kind of concerned about it, and alot of the job apparently is going to require you to assemble those components while laying on your back for those parts of the machines it looks like too. I haven't been able to do much after work either but gonna have to try and change that. If I added a 12 hour a week dishwashing job which I did before, not the same place but maybe a different one to the 40 hours I do at the first place and with that sleep schedule I'd probably collapse at some point or end up crashing my car or something, ha..

 

[OLDTIDEN]

Congratulations on the job. Sounds like you are in for it.