HelpMeInvega
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2021
- Messages
- 605
It’s true my face isn’t symmetrical anymore and it messes up my eyes big time and ruined my pout I used to have. It deformed my mouth shape and my eyes. My before and after a are screwed!!!
I think it is really impossible. They really do not care for me. Whenever I tell them something like even the lab considers my case serious they say to ask the GP to derive me to psychiatric urgency. I am talking about dying for not sleeping! If I would know they were so cruel I would have never trusted them for help. Another one says she just doesn't block me because of my mother. What an answer is that? I have trusted the wrong people, my family, who have killed me. They even blame me for being bad. And I don't have a third person who I trust. Everyone is on psychiatrist side. It is such a torment to live. I asked Matteo here to tell one of my cousins how bad Xeplion can be and he just blocked him telling me he was crazy. That we were both crazy. They have totally stigmatized me since I had the episode of psychosis it is like everything I said has to be sick.Well none of us are without problems, I'd imagine, not to downplay what you're going through though. Do you think that a third person whom you trust could mediate a conversation between you and your family?
I have literally nobody. Everybody has abandoned me. Nobody believes I am bad because of xeplion and they don't want to listen about it. I have placed 6 injections because this people were forcing me and telling my mother to call 112 otherwise. They have destroyed me. My own family the first time I ask them for help. Nobody can imagine how miserable I am. Moreover I don't recover a bit. It is so horrible.Sorry to hear that! Any way I could be useful to you? Not sure what to say honestly. Is there anyone who you really trust? Someone who can help you self-advocate? A friend or family member who you feel is still in your court? Wishing you the very best. The future is not written! I think that you might well be much stronger for your tribulations in the end, sad as they seem.
I’m tempted to come off seroquel. I take 25mg for sleep. I’ve tried before and can hardly sleep without it. I’ve heard success stories of people taking melatonin. I think I’m gonna try sleeping without seroquel tomorrow night, I’ll just take melatonin. I don’t feel as rested or healthy with the seroquel sleep.Dr. Johnathon Tomlinson :"My opinion: There are no such things as sleeping tablets. There are sedatives which give the illusion of sleep, but sleep is not sedation, it is an active, restorative process."
Medications are the biggest scam out there. You are spot on about the medication side effects being the REAL problem, then the psychiatrist attribute this to your "illness" and deny its the medication. I felt much better before invega as I'm sure many others did too. I don't understand why people take any recommendations from psychaitry or their GP when they push toxic garbage like invega, how can you trust their opinion after something like that. Antipsychotics are extremely dangerous. The black box warning on the medication is there for a reason.Yeah from my personal experienxe as a schizophrenic i can say that the negative symptoms are a result of the medications. Whenever i complain about the bad feeling she says its the illness and not schizophrenia. Its quite annoying
Ive been on forum schizophrenia b4 and i was saying its the medications that cause the negative symptoms and not the illness and people kept disagreeing with me saying its the illness. At best they would argue that medications make negatives worse.
However it should be noted ive had a few ppl say that they experienced negative symptoms b4 they got on medications which is rather interesting.
For me its been i get on medications. I suffer from cognitive decline and the negative symptoms. After about a year being off i recover from them. Then i get put on meds again and i get the symptoms again. Its annoying how doctors and family just say its the illness and not the meds.
Thats why i prefer psychosis over being medicated. Like ill be hearing voices but atleast i feel good and my mind is alert. It beats feeling like shit all the time on medications. Pretty much everyone i talk to that are on antipsychotics are in disability. Yet doctors say schizophrenics can live meaningful lives.
Great update, thanks so much for sharing3 months update:
-Unsure about my anhedonia progress: I spend more time doing activities I used to enjoy but it's mostly either because of my few friends pushing into them or because I feel it's going to help me in the long run, rather than doing them for the pleasure of it
-I think I can feel basic emotions now: I find myself laughing more often at stuff but I'm still incapable of feeling more complex things like atmosphere, empathy, music...it all still falls flat on me
-TV shows and books are a little easier to follow compared to last month, when I try to remember the plot in them I can also get pictures in my mind rather than just words but trying to follow more complex stuff still kinda hurts my head a bit to the point where I have to look away
-Taking a walk 1 hour a day while also occasionally alternating jogs: this feels easier to do compared to last month
-Have a little more energy in general, who knows maybe one of these days I might start lifting some light weights 3 times a week...it's still a big "maybe" though
-Constipation seems slightly better, I actually got stimulus to use the bathroom rather than "having to remember to do it myself" lately but it's soon to really claim victory on this yet
-Not much progress in the ED department, though it's probably not too bad to live with ED (before Xeplion most of the worst events in my life involved my D in a way or another)
-I also went off Delorazepam: my sleep quality might suffer but I'd rather not make a habit of taking goddamn benzos while also coming off xeplion
-Adding L-Theanine and NALT to my list of supplements very soon. I take a shitton of supplements in pill form which means I also drink a lot of water which probably also helps the overall picture
Overall I'm not feeling quite like a zombie anymore (I feel more like a human but a really stupid and blunt one) but my brain capacities (cognitives, memory, creativity, etc) aren't where they used to be yet. Currently figuring out some more brain exercises I can do to help things go smoother
I would also like to add that my psych today was oddly way more supportive than usual: she didn't repeat obsessively that my issues were negative symptoms of schizophrenia, supported my wish to stay as clean as possible from other strong drugs (she suggested me an easy to get multi-supplement instead) and even acknowledged that my speech abilities have improved since last month...I can't feel that quite as much myself but I'll just take her word on that
Nina I seriously think you should follow up with the pharmacovigilance lab investigation and talk to them about your experience. I fully support you doing that. Your case is extreme and very serious, and you deserve to have it taken seriously. Your family and doctor are neglecting to take you seriously, but the manufacturing company is. Please follow it up with them.I trusted the wrong people, a psychiatrist and my family. I wrote the lab with my secondary effects and pharmacovigilance considers it as Serious. I informed my cousins to see if they had some empathy for me but no. They did everything right and they don't want to keep talking about it because they also have problems in their lifes.
So glad you're feeling better today. Hmmm, why the headaches I wonder? Any ideas?Well, it was two bad days of grogginess and headaches. I feel better today. Probably the best I’ve felt since being put on invega. Makes me want to take a vyvanse and really have a good one.
I think the recovery is coming in slow waves.
Well....he has a very good point. But that doesn't help you very much when you need sleep!Dr. Johnathon Tomlinson :"My opinion: There are no such things as sleeping tablets. There are sedatives which give the illusion of sleep, but sleep is not sedation, it is an active, restorative process."
Yes, I have been driving the past dozen years or so while on Abilify.@Jerry Atrick , are you able to drive a car on abilify? It's really hard for me on invega and I've been meaning to ask you this
I still have anhedonia when I listen to music but some nights I still listen to music & it helps a little. It's like I can remember how I used to feel listening to it or how I know I should feel but still feel numb.
From what I've read some of the people that recovered kept doing things until one day they finally felt them. And with the progress I've made it's kind of been the same where it's gradual & all of a sudden you kind of just realise you've gotten a little better
3 months update:
-Unsure about my anhedonia progress: I spend more time doing activities I used to enjoy but it's mostly either because of my few friends pushing into them or because I feel it's going to help me in the long run, rather than doing them for the pleasure of it
-I think I can feel basic emotions now: I find myself laughing more often at stuff but I'm still incapable of feeling more complex things like atmosphere, empathy, music...it all still falls flat on me
-TV shows and books are a little easier to follow compared to last month, when I try to remember the plot in them I can also get pictures in my mind rather than just words but trying to follow more complex stuff still kinda hurts my head a bit to the point where I have to look away
-Taking a walk 1 hour a day while also occasionally alternating jogs: this feels easier to do compared to last month
-Have a little more energy in general, who knows maybe one of these days I might start lifting some light weights 3 times a week...it's still a big "maybe" though
-Constipation seems slightly better, I actually got stimulus to use the bathroom rather than "having to remember to do it myself" lately but it's soon to really claim victory on this yet
-Not much progress in the ED department, though it's probably not too bad to live with ED (before Xeplion most of the worst events in my life involved my D in a way or another)
-I also went off Delorazepam: my sleep quality might suffer but I'd rather not make a habit of taking goddamn benzos while also coming off xeplion
-Adding L-Theanine and NALT to my list of supplements very soon. I take a shitton of supplements in pill form which means I also drink a lot of water which probably also helps the overall picture
Overall I'm not feeling quite like a zombie anymore (I feel more like a human but a really stupid and blunt one) but my brain capacities (cognitives, memory, creativity, etc) aren't where they used to be yet. Currently figuring out some more brain exercises I can do to help things go smoother
I would also like to add that my psych today was oddly way more supportive than usual: she didn't repeat obsessively that my issues were negative symptoms of schizophrenia, supported my wish to stay as clean as possible from other strong drugs (she suggested me an easy to get multi-supplement instead) and even acknowledged that my speech abilities have improved since last month...I can't feel that quite as much myself but I'll just take her word on that
Yes I totally agree with this, I never felt any negatives symptoms at all during psychosis or even when I was on risperidone pills for a brief period. I remember well feeling like something switched off in my brain and body on the first shot of Invega. It took a few days for it to sink in but by then I already had the second one. I remember getting out of the hospital after that and driving to the beach and just standing there feeling so empty and lifeless. That was my first experience with anhedonia. So I also believe that the negative symptoms of the illness is a theoretical concept and there is strong correlation with what is caused by the meds.When I left the hospital after a psychotic outbreak, I had no negative symptoms. I was fine for a week until invega took effect and then I had all those horrible symptoms. That's why I don't think they are caused by the psychotic break, but by the medications. Just as there are people who have been given it due to a misdiagnosis or some other problem that is not related to an outbreak and have presented these same symptoms. What do you think?
In relation to invega induced problems, other people problems can be considered "fake" in 95% cases.Well none of us are without problems, I'd imagine, not to downplay what you're going through though. Do you think that a third person whom you trust could mediate a conversation between you and your family?
Man I know chemistry and I know how those chemical affect brain, they prevent release and use of hormones responsible for reward system, good mood, euphoria, numb feelings of some types of emotions or even removes emotional reactions, it increases adrenaline. It also lowers sleep quality and regulation. It skyrocks prolactin, lowers testosterne and drasticaly lowers mineral amounts in blood because it binds with minerals as base before it can do it's work. BADLY affects memory access and can create memory fogs because serotonine is responsible for that. And does many more BAD stuff.When I left the hospital after a psychotic outbreak, I had no negative symptoms. I was fine for a week until invega took effect and then I had all those horrible symptoms. That's why I don't think they are caused by the psychotic break, but by the medications. Just as there are people who have been given it due to a misdiagnosis or some other problem that is not related to an outbreak and have presented these same symptoms. What do you think?
I had hollow feeling in my chest until 9 months off which is probably because of gland issues or mental pain.I’ve been off the injections for 260 days or close to 9 months now. I had 3 injections (2x234, 1x156). Around 8 months off I started to feel a bit better. I had a constant weird fuzzy feeling in my head which went away thankfully, now my head seems more clear. Also I had a totally hollow feeling in my chest, but now it feels more normal, like I have a semblance of emotion/conscience. I am also showing more emotion outwardly, smiling sometimes.
I feel like I’m at a similar place to @lau_rahxo and @EsseWasGreat. I’m only just feeling the slightest of emotions, they lack any depth to them and I don’t feel connected to them like I used to. Sometimes I realize how I should be feeling or how I used to feel, but the actual emotion is absent. When I listen to music I can feel a slight connection but nowhere near what it was before — my emotions used to go up and down according to the highs and lows of the song. Same with TV.
I am staying with a friend prepping for job interviews right now, which involves practicing some coding exercises. This is much more than what I was capable of just a couple of months ago - I was lying down all day doing nothing. But I still do it for the sake of getting a job and because my friends and family are pushing me. I derive no pleasure out of them and I’m never in the zone while doing them like I used to be. That makes it much harder and some days I just give up and lie in bed or surf the web.
I still cannot get natural erections and have no arousal or sex drive. I can get them manually but they’re weak and I don’t really feel anything emotionally. Hoping this improves too as I had a high drive before.
Overall I think I’m just seeing the light through the cracks. In some ways it feels more difficult than before since earlier I was just on autopilot and going with it. Now that I’m more conscious about what I’m missing I sometimes really regret the bad decisions that led to this a lot. Sometimes the emptiness is just staring at me and I feel hopeless. I try to look for positive stories and that gives me hope. I’m hoping I’ll be much more functional in the coming months. I don’t have much time before I’ll have to settle into a job and I’m afraid whether I’ll be able to put in the hours.