I joined the gym this week. I'm feeling mixed feelings about it all. I was so proud of myself the first day although I was also mortified because after I had signed up just before I entered the gym I saw someone working out who I had liked for ages & find really attractive. I was devestated & really embarrassed walking through the bottom level of the gym to get to the top level. Luckily one of the girls was showing me around so I didn't have to walk on my own & we walked straight past the weights part where he was because I said I didn't need to see that area. I only went on the treadmill but I walked on it for about 50 mins & burned around 450 calories which I know isn't alot but it's a start.
I decided to try a different gym the next day because I didn't want to be going to the first gym I went to if the guy I fancy is there. It's a really small shitty gym the equipment is really outdated especially compared to the other gym I tried which is massive with brand new equipment but I'm going to have to deal with it. I walked on the treadmill again. I went again a couple of days later & didn't really get to do much because I got there later & I had to start work at 11 but one of the women showed me how to use some of the equipment which made me sore all over. It was really hard doing the weight machines I was really weak & it was hard to get through it it made me feel pretty 'exhausted' afterwards. Even though I can't feel tiredness or proper exhaustion it's more like I just had no energy at all & felt sore.
I went again the next day which was yesterday I had to get up early before 6:30am so I could get a lift with my mum who was dropping my brothers at tennis because I don't have a car. I didn't know if I'd even be able to get up early so I'm proud of myself.
I then pushed myself to go again today & burned 412 calories which again I know isn't much but better than nothing.
I'm really frustrated though & almost didn't bother going today because the first day after going to the gym I weighed myself & I had lost 1.2kg from the day before. I was stoked even though I knew it was most likely water weight. But then yesterday I weighed myself & my weight had gone up. Then I weighed myself this morning & my weight has gone up again by 0.5kg. I'm now at 71.2kg which is the highest I've been.
I'm going to give the gym a go for 2 months. I'm 5 months off on the 27th May. I know alot of people have said they didn't start losing weight until around the 6 month mark so I'll keep trying until then. But it's going to be really hard to not be discouraged if my weight keeps going up & not down.
I'm saving up for liposuction. It's frustrating because it costs so much! I found a place in Sydney that does it pretty cheap but it's too far from me & you have to go back for post surgery massages so I wouldn't be able to travel all that way. I've found somewhere local that does it but it's so expensive but they have the best before & after photos I've come across. It's $3,600 for the first area then $3,000 for other areas. If you're going under local anesthetic you can only get 2 areas done at a time. If you're going under general anesthetic you can get as many areas as you want but it's so much more expensive to go under general. I want to go under general because I'm squeamish & faint easily but I'm going to just have to do it under local. I've decided rather than saving up for ages to get more than one area done I'm just going to start with my double chin so I can get atleast that done then save up for everywhere else.
I've still got my work from home job which I'm loving having. I started 4 weeks ago now. It's telefundraising. I get paid $210 (before tax) a day to call people all day & only around 20-30 sometimes 40 people max answer. It would be the perfect job except they listen to our phone calls & because I'm new they listen to mine all the time which makes me nervous & I end up stuffing up some of the calls. I can't seem to get past it & wish I was my normal self so I could use my emotions/motivation to work through it or even meditate. Or if I could feel the effects of coffee/food properly. Or music. Or exercise. Simple things that would help me get in a better mind frame to do better.
Sono preoccupato per quanto tempo avrò il lavoro perché abbiamo obiettivi giornalieri che dobbiamo raggiungere, ovvero 2 iscrizioni mensili al giorno per la nostra organizzazione di beneficenza. Poiché sono nuovo, non devo ancora raggiungere gli obiettivi, ma dovrò farlo molto presto se voglio mantenere il mio lavoro.
In realtà non so cosa farò senza di esso perché è fantastico avere i soldi in entrata, ma è anche bello avere qualcosa da fare per rendere la mia giornata più veloce e sapere che vengo pagato per farlo e lo farà passare il tempo al recupero più velocemente. È buono perché mi dà struttura e ho delle pause. Mi concedo anche molto menulog. Anche se non riesco a sentire correttamente la fame o la soddisfazione dal cibo, è comunque migliorato un po' e posso sentire di più le mie papille gustative.
Venerdì non lavoravo e non sapevo cosa fare di me stesso, non so come ho passato i giorni prima del lavoro.
Spero davvero di poter mantenere il mio lavoro. Va anche bene perché posso scegliere di iniziare a lavorare alle 11 se voglio e mi dà il tempo di andare in palestra alcune mattine.
Di recente ho testato di nuovo i miei livelli di prolattina. L'ultima volta sono scesi solo di 85 in un mese di cui ero preoccupato. Ma questa volta sono scesi da 409 a 1183 in 6 settimane. Quindi spero che in altre 6 settimane sarà sceso di altri 400, quindi entro altre 6 settimane si spera che torneranno a livelli normali.
