Mental Health Coming off Invega (paliperidone) injections, v 5.0

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Everyday is the same shit…diet, exercise, look in the mirror, go on the scale to see no change 75 days off the shot. Two months and 13 days.
 
Physically im totally recovering i can feel orgasms, i can trip on mushrooms i literally tripped my balls, i can trip on 4FMA and feel relaxation or somewhat physical euphoria from drugs (way less than before). I dosed a massive amount of 1 gram of 4-FMA total OD ( for a moment thought i was going to die shit got half life of 24 hours normal dose is 50 mg ) and got high (different high tho and way less) probably displacing residual invega from the receptors

I'm missing alot of dopamine receptors they got destroyed by invega...i cannot feel dopaminergic drugs or amphetamines in normal dosages, my sensitivity in my penis is greatly reduced and my orgasms are blunted or dampened. I TRIPPED MY BALLS off a low dosage of mushrooms/LSD so my serotonin receptors are fine ...this doesn't make sense because invega targets serotonin receptors an dopamine receptors with about the same affinity...hopton also said it doesn't make sense.

Burning in my brain probably was my dopamine receptors getting destroyed...to me invega actually CAUSED PSYCHOSIS and symptoms of schizophrenia...i totally LOWERED my spiritual defense against negative energies / entities. After i used 4-FMA and had absolute fucking retarded behaviour i seemed to snap out of psychosis

I feel like invega left my body already because i can feel motivated i can feel interest again, i can walk long distances. I still don't feel my old self, my emotions are GONE...i'm not 1 % my old self and my personality is completely GONE
My aura is GONE my spirituality is GONE

This happened within SECONDS of receiving the injection in the hospital its like the needle penetrated my energetic shield or aura enabling negative energies to enter my body / soul...immediately i felt energy leaving the body...the guy who was in the next room said he see the green energy leaving my body when i got injected.

I could feel energy and chakras before...i'm missing chakras or energies..i feel a blockage or missing chakra in front of my heart (green energy missing)...im totally stuck in lower dimensions.

The whole notion that its just dopamine or dopamine is somehow the cause of emotions is totally flawed...i suffered dopamine depletion before after using cathinones (4-mmc and so forth) but i still had my motivation, interests and emotions. Yeah sure it caused depression and some anhedonia but it never freaking erased emotions from my soul this is something else...hospitals are totally haunted and if you get injected there you are F'ed.
 
Physically im totally recovering i can feel orgasms, i can trip on mushrooms i literally tripped my balls, i can trip on 4FMA and feel relaxation or somewhat physical euphoria from drugs (way less than before). I dosed a massive amount of 1 gram of 4-FMA total OD ( for a moment thought i was going to die shit got half life of 24 hours normal dose is 50 mg ) and got high (different high tho and way less) probably displacing residual invega from the receptors

I'm missing alot of dopamine receptors they got destroyed by invega...i cannot feel dopaminergic drugs or amphetamines in normal dosages, my sensitivity in my penis is greatly reduced and my orgasms are blunted or dampened. I TRIPPED MY BALLS off a low dosage of mushrooms/LSD so my serotonin receptors are fine ...this doesn't make sense because invega targets serotonin receptors an dopamine receptors with about the same affinity...hopton also said it doesn't make sense.

Burning in my brain probably was my dopamine receptors getting destroyed...to me invega actually CAUSED PSYCHOSIS and symptoms of schizophrenia...i totally LOWERED my spiritual defense against negative energies / entities. After i used 4-FMA and had absolute fucking retarded behaviour i seemed to snap out of psychosis

I feel like invega left my body already because i can feel motivated i can feel interest again, i can walk long distances. I still don't feel my old self, my emotions are GONE...i'm not 1 % my old self and my personality is completely GONE
My aura is GONE my spirituality is GONE

This happened within SECONDS of receiving the injection in the hospital its like the needle penetrated my energetic shield or aura enabling negative energies to enter my body / soul...immediately i felt energy leaving the body...the guy who was in the next room said he see the green energy leaving my body when i got injected.

I could feel energy and chakras before...i'm missing chakras or energies..i feel a blockage or missing chakra in front of my heart (green energy missing)...im totally stuck in lower dimensions.

The whole notion that its just dopamine or dopamine is somehow the cause of emotions is totally flawed...i suffered dopamine depletion before after using cathinones (4-mmc and so forth) but i still had my motivation, interests and emotions. Yeah sure it caused depression and some anhedonia but it never freaking erased emotions from my soul this is something else...hospitals are totally haunted and if you get injected there you are F'ed.
It will comeback can take over a year for emotions to come back
 
The worst insomnia hit me last 2 weeks at the same time i feel invega is leaving my body and with it the psychosis...seems like some sort of withdrawal from invega

Tried a low dose of mushrooms and also vaped cannabis it totally burned me out completely i feel totally drained.. (low dose 5 grams fresh shroom) even more so than taking 1 gram of 4-FMA.... taking vitamins , 5 HTP, dopamine and cbd doesn't really work. Cbd is antipsychotic and a depressant itself seems to worsen insomnia and fatigue i rather seem to benefit stimulants and SSRI

Not sure if i can recommend psychedelics being on or after invega.i vaped cannabis for a month or 2 throughout the day but ends up burning me out..to me benzodiazapines or megadosing st johnswort seem like better alternatives. Even while tripping i didn't feel any emotions literally zero emotions...i did have a few psychological processes going like rationality and paradime related stuff.

While tripping on mushrooms i had a kundalini energy going up but it was completely different it skipped a few energy points/nodes i could only sense my 3th eye chakra(faint) and base chakra(strong)...its like the plexus chakra, sacral chakra and heart chakra got skipped (no feeling at all). I don't feel in front of my body the energy points they are gone or completely blocked. I can sometimes sense energy points at my back especially when working with a therapist. My 3th eye chakra was orange coloured instead of purple.
 
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The insomnia is really bad during withdrawal 😣 I wish I could just sleep as peacefully as I did before being injected.
O yeah first 2.5 months i slept 3 hours a day then i started sleeping 6 to 8 hours right now in withdrawal i barely sleep at all maybe 4 hours max. I also noticed random bouts of sweating and having cold / hot flashes. cannabis made me sleep but right now i can vape 2 grams and i won't even yawn. I really need benzo's to compensate

I have interest again in spirituality but i'm completely dissconnected from it
 
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I am 6 months off but I’m still very bad I can’t feel anything no sensations no emotions 0% libido , no energy it’s like I’m without my soul and it’s a real nightmare I don’t think I will recover from this shit
 
Had an unexpected sudden boost of energy and i felt my thirth eye chakra opening again even tho my pineal gland is still supressed/inhibited or closed. I think those few months of smoking a few grams of cannabis daily yielded positive results. The 4-FMA also seemed to work. At first i thought mushrooms and weed burned me out but one day later right now i notice less anxiety, fear and the suicidal depression finally lifted this evening still got a bit of blank mind. Yesterday i felt off i had trouble communicating even tho i have a blank mind this evening i have less trouble talking and communicating.

I seem to get a bit more high on weed like 10%

I'm starting to lose weight as well especially stomach area
 
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I'm sorry to hear this, you may recover 15 years from now you never know! Not everyone recovers from this medication that's why this forum is here, also people do recover that's why its here, sounds like you pulled the burnt match out the group, subscribed to your youtube channel glad you are making music and have awesome dogs
Thanks Bigsmoke420 but I would honestly trade my dog my wife even my arm or leg to be norm. I wouldn't lie
 
Thanks Bigsmoke420 but I would honestly trade my dog my wife even my arm or leg to be norm. I wouldn't lie
I agree you need medications, supplements and drugs to get some relief from invega especially substances that are neuroprotective and cause neurogenesis like lithium or certain SSRI, benzo's, amphetamines. Vaping a few grams of cannabis each day helped me in the long run also taking anti-convulsants helped. i couldn't survive without weed and anti-convulsants especially the first few months where i got hit by a seizure/epileptic episode during sleep..if i didn't took all that stuff i would've had another seizure and more burning brain pain. I wished i took all that stuff from day one, i stupidly waited until i got hit by invega hard.

After tripping on psychedelic mushrooms i have to say the difference is night and day no more suicidal depression..now its normal depression at least its managable one week ago i still wanted to kill myself (and i almost did, thankfully i listened to some people on the forum). I also went out everyday a few times a day to get groceries and dinner just picking one or two items to distract myself if i didn't i would be in bed deteriorating. Like koolio said good luck to people who don't do anything and stay in bed all day it won't get you anywhere. I used to be bed bound for a few years due to auto immune disease so i'm used to it but man the first few months i got my ass kicked. You have to try stuff i'm going to do ketamine infusions/therapy . Maybe going into K-hole and have near death or out of body experience try to connect to god again.

3 days ago i went to group theray. I'm also visiting an energy healer, medium and a massagist. Maybe i go to an accupuncturist as well. Yesterday i meditated for a few hours with crystals it was almost impossible to do i still went out and do it...i cannot feel any spiritual connection to anything anymore. However at a certain point i starting to feel crystals again orange calcite, green calcite and peridot i could sense their energy (only ones tho) i was really surprised because i couldn't sense anything for months.

Today i'm going to take some psychedelics again and take a walk in the forest maybe build a fire and brew some tea
 
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I got up and felt like i wanted to go to the gardening centre took some mescaline - San pedro ( trichocereus pachanoi ) and few hours later it didn't feel good felt like regression. Instead of uplifiting effects i got severe depression and increased anhedonia, Seems like i cannot trip on mescaline wether high dose or low dose and only get negative side effects. Before mescaline kicked in i went for a walk in a forest and had severe trouble relaxing and trouble relating to the enviroment i felt completely disconnected from nature. I felt maybe 5% ( still better than zero) . Hopefully during summer i get some more improvement both spiritually, emotionally and physically and hopefully i can be a nature person again.

I also went to the gardening center later during the day and i had trouble generating interest in plants and had trouble just walking around there i had no patience i couldn't slow pace myself and focus on plants it was like i was visiting a grocery store not giving a shit about the enviroment at all. Mushrooms seem more medicinal. I took 5 grams of syrian rue with 5 grams of fresh mushrooms and see how that goes. i never in my entire life had negative experiences on this combination. i'm going to take a walk in nature with my music player and see how this goes.

Yesterday and the day before i had moments where my heart / heart chakra felt a bit better like it was unblocked for a short moment but today i constantly feel pressure and pain.

i have been working with crystals even tho i have reduced sensitivity ( i received training in crystal healing ) .. i tried some green crystals/ venus crystals and pink ones like rose quartz, malachite, tektite it didn't felt good and all and felt overwhelming. instead i switched to wearing and meditating with citrine quartz, tiger eye, golden quartz orange calcite, yellow jaspis.. basically the 3th chakra crystals ( solar) and it feels like its a better vibration. Best crystal for me is moonstone / black moonstone

Emotional state is still zero there is basically nothing going on... when i was walking in the forest i felt almost similar to walking in cities like i couldn't even sense a difference in enviroment.
 
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Everyday is the same shit…diet, exercise, look in the mirror, go on the scale to see no change 75 days off the shot. Two months and 13 days.
Hang in there. It takes at least 3 months before you start to recover. It's possible to lose weight while you're actively taking monthly shots, I've seen my brother do it. It's rather challenging, but don't worry too much about weight. Focus on getting better. If you're able to post and hang around here, you should be able to pick up hobbies like reading, music, etc. Why not take some time off the forum?
i have been working with crystals even tho i have reduced sensitivity ( i received training in crystal healing ) .. i tried some green crystals/ venus crystals and pink ones like rose quartz, malachite, tektite it didn't felt good and all and felt overwhelming. instead i switched to wearing and meditating with citrine quartz, tiger eye, golden quartz orange calcite, yellow jaspis.. basically the 3th chakra crystals ( solar) and it feels like its a better vibration. Best crystal for me is moonstone / black moonstone
Binaural beats/crystal bowls/meditation were relatively unchanged for me too when I was on the shot.

Had an unexpected sudden boost of energy and i felt my thirth eye chakra opening again even tho my pineal gland is still supressed/inhibited or closed. I think those few months of smoking a few grams of cannabis daily yielded positive results. The 4-FMA also seemed to work. At first i thought mushrooms and weed burned me out but one day later right now i notice less anxiety, fear and the suicidal depression finally lifted this evening still got a bit of blank mind. Yesterday i felt off i had trouble communicating even tho i have a blank mind this evening i have less trouble talking and communicating.

I seem to get a bit more high on weed like 10%

I'm starting to lose weight as well especially stomach area

Marijuana/psychedelics can actually worsen your healing in some cases. In my experience, they were not helpful and just made me sleep for a long time.

The people who got fucked really bad took the injections in hospitals i find this a strange coincidence


Yes, because the trauma of being forcibly medicated adds more negative symptoms to the recovery experience

I completely agree with this calculation!
8 half lives is approximately 13 months and that is exactly how long it took me to recover the first time. But it’s such a slow and gradual process, only looking back now I see how much I had recovered before being shot up again.

The half life just tells you when invega leaves your system. It could be a while before you actually feel like yourself due to the time it takes receptors to recover, which doesn't always happen immediately after stopping invega.
 
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Metabolism is completely jacked up..i don't even want to talk about it. Almost threw up eating small amounts. Went out and listened to some music while walking i'm not sure what it is .....the music hit me but i wouldn't call it emotions. Normally you experience emotions through the heart ..heart chakra or soul. Heart hurted like fuck don't know why its still operating to be honest totally torn.

Experience on mescaline was atrocious..however i did have some weird coincedendes during my mescaline trip almost supernatural. My tire went flat for no reason (couldnt get pissed no emotion) in the middle of nowhere and because of it i ran into someone i knew an old college friend whom i haven't seen for a long long time chances of this happening are almost impossible.

Tripped on syrian rue with mushroom (DMT basically) very confronting experience but i felt a bit connection to enviroment while tripping. was shocked started to trip really hard for a few minutes. I was outside and suddenly started hallucinating it was summer, colours were extremely bright occasionally i had complex imaginations which is something i couldn't do for months...i practiced imagining simple things for two weeks straight all day and it seems its paying off especially when taking psychedelics.

. In general a positive experience...not a bad day (trying to stay optimistic) dear lord....
 
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