Alright room, it's been 125 days (4 months) since my last injection. According to this old EMA document and if I'm reading this correctly (
https://www.ema.europa.eu/en/documents/product-information/xeplion-epar-product-information_en.pdf ) the substance should stop releasing itself starting at around tomorrow.
I'll take this opportunity to begin a serious training regime which involves 30 minutes of jogging 3 times a week and weight lifting everyday
I'm also ditching my therapist because he's fucking worthless and every time I went for his help he would only make me feel worse. I'll use the 60€/hour he used to take to just get a gym subscription instead (infinitely more valuable)
As for my progress, it is going as follows:
-Anhedonia is really biting my ass more than last month. I'm starting to get used to it so it's not as hellish as month 1 but damn I do feel it everytime I think of doing any activity at all (though sometimes I do end up doing things just for the sake of passing time, which works for now even if it's not the best thing)
-No real progress on the emotions side either. If anything I feel like my ability to feel things and enjoy them has gotten worse since 30 days ago but oh well. Doesn't help that all of my friends are on vacation or some shit so I've been kind of lonely lately (I used to be perfectly comfortable being alone before Xeplion)
-TV shows and books are getting more digestible at least: some subtleties still fly over my head but I don't get literal fatigue from just watching a movie anymore. All I'm missing right now is the ability to fully consume and understand whatever I'm trying to watch/read but it's better than last month
-On the positive side I can walk 1 hour/day like a champ now. Haven't missed one day and as I said earlier I'm going to do regular jogs starting tomorrow and the only thing that worries me is that I'll run through my track faster which means I would spend less time outside (until I get that gym subscription at least)
-Constipation is being less and less of a problem
-Ma diq is starting to work again: it's like 30/40% of how it used to be which means ED is starting to go away but if I still can't feel any pleasure or proper emotions what's even the point
-Reduced the amount of valerian I take before sleeping and started taking NALT everyday since last week
-I've been actually sleeping good lately, probably a bit too much but it beats having insomnia
-Would also like to point out that it took me like 15 minutes to type all this which I believe is an improvement since last month. I've been trying to train my memory/cognitive capacities and I feel those are also slowly coming back (I'd say around 10/20% of what it used to be). I can actually start thinking about the decisions I make and also do some math on the fly. I'm starting to think the purpose of this drug is to make people as dumb as the average low-class working lout and it's being extremely effective at that