Coming off dilaudid

Thanks Hebavore. I'm trying to be honest with myself. I've already spent years of my life telling myself I could handle what I was doing despite losing my job from calling in sick repeatedly, etc. I'd rather be mellow at home with my narcs!

I went to a NA meeting the other day. Well noone will forget me. We were meeting in the local hospitals conference room. About halfway through the meeting I started to feel really crummy. Then I started to feel really light headed. I got to the point that I was wondering if I laid down on the floor if they would just ignore me and continue. I was hunched forward trying to get my head down...you know..kind of trying to get my head down by my knees without attracting any attention. Well my hearing started to get a bit tinny and I thought.. Uh Oh! Well next thing I know I was on the floor with my hoodie under my head and everyone staring at me. They were actually very sweet. The nurses came with a stretcher and I fainted again trying to get on the stretcher. I woke up in the ER. My BP was 70/40. I guess that did it.

I'm fine.. my doc had adjusted my BP med just a bit too much. What the heck. I will go to another meeting and see if I can get through the whole thing without calling any attention to myself. Ha!!
I went about 24 hours without wanting to be high with all this excitement. I really want to be high now though. I think I will go for a walk and maybe call one of the girls on the list that was slipped to me despite being out of it.
It sounds like I am doing well but I am still trying to figure out how to get a script from my doc. Sadly I have a tooth that crumbled and my roots are sticking out. |I get it pulled next week. My first thought was oh boy pain meds. I guess the only good new is that they wont give me that many. And what the hey... my tolerance is down. This is really sick thinking on my part. This journey is really a sick journey. From reading other posts I see its a common journey.
 
Hey silver
Sounds like quite the impression you made at NA. Why are you going to miss edmonton you enjoy the minus 40 winters ? Haha
You are doing awesome getting out to a few things. Keep busy. See you didn't think about getting high when all the craziness was going on with your blood pressure. Keep strong and focused your doing awesome !! One day at a time.
 
Hey Sosick
I found i really enjoyed wonter way more than summer! Who knew!
Yeah you all are right about staying busy
It does help. And right now anything that helps is a good thing.
 
This probably sounds silly but I'm proud of myself. I had a tooth pulled on Thursday. I was given a script for 5 vicodan. I took two that day and that was it. Its Saturday and i still have 3 left. I can't remember the last time I didnt blow through whatever i had. I don't now how long they will stick around but its a first for me.
 
I'm glad to see you're making progress. It's encouraging. I came off the same thing you did and I slipped a few times, but I have a handle on things. Best of luck.
 
Thanks Rast but I had been patting myself on the back too soon. I downed the 3 remaining vicodan this morning. I did it not for pain but because i wanted too. I talked myself into it. I rationalized that it was only 3 pills and that was all i had so how bad could it be! The joke ison me because i didnt get high or feel anything

Wow, if i cant make it a few days with pills around how am i going to make it the rest of my life. I know a key is to not have access but damn if i need them and cant control myself to either take them as prescribed or toss th when done.....
Well damn. Thats all i have to say right now.
 
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