coming down, i feel pain, the story of my life, haunts me once again. i think of crying myself to sleep, i think i should never take e, i think maybe if i write it down once and for all, maybe just maybe they won't haunt me no more....
3 years ago she got run down by a drunk driver, reality struck, life is painful. my sister cried her self to sleep for four months straight, losing a best friend isn't an easy thing to just forget and let go.
i tried to make it all better the cries the arguments the pain, but alcohol was my only escape, drowning my sorrows in bottles.crying out in silence. 6 months later i couldn't hold on, i had to get rid of the pain, and so i tried, but failed.
why do you want to die? they asked why do you wanna hurt us by not even saying good bye. i tried so hard i swear i tried, but 5 months later, no presc. drugs made me strong, i had to go, but yet i failed again.
2 weeks in a psych. ward, screams of emotional pain filled my heart, all alone in a room, crying myself to sleep but struggling to wake from those horrid dreams.
rehab was the answer they thought, i went along as i had no other choice. in 6 months i felt alive once or twice. but no alcohol or drugs for life?! i ran away, got my own place, 17 in a strange place no friends no loved ones, no one to notice the pain.
i had a boyfriend who emotionally abused me who took away my inoocence my purity. i couldn't let go as he was all i had, he wouldn't go as i gave him everything i had. drowning my sorrows in bottles again, i thought if i can't die then i might as well try something else. scars remain in memory of that period of time.
march 2001 i took my first pill, happiness atlast filled my heart. i think that night is what kept me alive. a year on and im in a better place, memories haunt me from time to time. no body knows of the pain i went through, nmo one stood by my side. all i wanted is someone to say your gonna be ok, i'll always be here, and here was were he/she stayed.
i built this wall, that will always surround my heart, no you can't come in, as you don't deserve the truth. you haven't gained my trust. i cant and won't let anyone go near my fragile heart again.
(i'm sorry i can't let you in, as you can't handle the truth, if only you knew what i've been through you'll understand why. i'm not sure i'm strong enough to go through another heart break, by you or anyone else).
i know they think im crazy they think im wierd but what can i do when all i have is myself...i can't betray my heart.
i sit here still alone thinking what happened? will i ever feel that pain again? will i be able to hold on? who's going to help me? and will i even try to be strong when i can't hold on....?
[ 21 April 2002: Message edited by: unicorn83 ]
3 years ago she got run down by a drunk driver, reality struck, life is painful. my sister cried her self to sleep for four months straight, losing a best friend isn't an easy thing to just forget and let go.
i tried to make it all better the cries the arguments the pain, but alcohol was my only escape, drowning my sorrows in bottles.crying out in silence. 6 months later i couldn't hold on, i had to get rid of the pain, and so i tried, but failed.
why do you want to die? they asked why do you wanna hurt us by not even saying good bye. i tried so hard i swear i tried, but 5 months later, no presc. drugs made me strong, i had to go, but yet i failed again.
2 weeks in a psych. ward, screams of emotional pain filled my heart, all alone in a room, crying myself to sleep but struggling to wake from those horrid dreams.
rehab was the answer they thought, i went along as i had no other choice. in 6 months i felt alive once or twice. but no alcohol or drugs for life?! i ran away, got my own place, 17 in a strange place no friends no loved ones, no one to notice the pain.
i had a boyfriend who emotionally abused me who took away my inoocence my purity. i couldn't let go as he was all i had, he wouldn't go as i gave him everything i had. drowning my sorrows in bottles again, i thought if i can't die then i might as well try something else. scars remain in memory of that period of time.
march 2001 i took my first pill, happiness atlast filled my heart. i think that night is what kept me alive. a year on and im in a better place, memories haunt me from time to time. no body knows of the pain i went through, nmo one stood by my side. all i wanted is someone to say your gonna be ok, i'll always be here, and here was were he/she stayed.
i built this wall, that will always surround my heart, no you can't come in, as you don't deserve the truth. you haven't gained my trust. i cant and won't let anyone go near my fragile heart again.
(i'm sorry i can't let you in, as you can't handle the truth, if only you knew what i've been through you'll understand why. i'm not sure i'm strong enough to go through another heart break, by you or anyone else).
i know they think im crazy they think im wierd but what can i do when all i have is myself...i can't betray my heart.
i sit here still alone thinking what happened? will i ever feel that pain again? will i be able to hold on? who's going to help me? and will i even try to be strong when i can't hold on....?
[ 21 April 2002: Message edited by: unicorn83 ]
I only wish I had something to say to this..... darls I wish i was there to give you a big hug but other than being here if you need to vent Im helpless to do anything....it sucks