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Mental Health Comfortable/Natural Lying... does it go away?

C

Cartesia

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 4, 2007
Messages
417
So I wound down my addiction a few months ago.. I've been spending alot of time around... 'normal' people, for lack of a better word.

It's making me realise that the ease with which I lie is something not-normal.. I know nobody picks up on it... but I'm worried with how easily I slip back into doing it.. If it's easier to lie than explain something, I just slip back into it without thinking. It's not compulsive lying.. just.. it happens easily.

I'm seeing that most people aren't even capable of telling a lie without getting caught, or covering all possibilities, etc.. and then I look at myself and I feel like it's something about myself that I don't want, it's just there due to my previous life.

So does it go away? I'm trying, but I dont realise I've done it till after the fact.
 
Habits I think they say take about 6 weeks to break with conscious correction. Perhaps if you attempt to identify when you lie and then try to catch it before it happens and continue to do this, you'll eventually be able to break the habit. It's worth a try.
 
I think it will go away fine when a person accept who they are and what they want to do as correct.. cause all you have to do then is tell the truth and since letting the truth out at that point won't bother you you will have no reason to lie.
 
Living an honest life and being completely transperant is one of the attitudes you need to overcome an addiction....IMO
 
I somewhat disagree...I guess depending on what you mean by being "completely transparent". I do not owe it to anyone but myself to have to be 100% transparent. Somethings are my own and mine alone. Everyone deserves to have some privacy about themselves and shouldn't be made to feel guilty about that (not saying necessarily that you were implying that).

"A compulsive liar is someone who lies with ease and finds comfort in it. The person will fib about everything and anything with no conscience whatsoever. Lying has become an addiction, and the person doesn't even think about the lies he or she tells."

http://addiction.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Compulsive_Lying_Disorder
 
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The skill remains available, but the habit to do it without even thinking about it or needing to wears off slowly and gradually over months of consecutive sobriety (or open, sincere drug usage, I suppose, but society is largely too judgmental and close-minded for an active user or addict to be fully honest about usage with the great amount of unenlightened non-users we encounter when living sober), as you have less and less things to hide, less and less contradictions, less and less inconsistencies, less and less "quirks" or potentially suspicious attitudes or actions, etc.

Particularly in the beginning of your return to the "normal" world, when you are beginning to establish relationships with sober people and the social expectation is "getting to know one another", sharing stories from infancy/youth/recent past, former addicts are likely to find themselves sitting on hundreds of experiences, stories, anecdotes, jokes and fond (or not so fond) memories that they feel they are unable to share with newfound sober friends, be it due to fear of judgment, ostracizing, or out of personal shame. It might even seem plain inappropriate given the state of pure innocence some sober people exist in. Simultaneously, hearing stories and funny anecdotes from these newfound friends, former addicts might feel like they have nothing to contribute or to "match" their conversational contributions. Euphemisms, revised versions of druggie experiences, and sometimes outright fabrications often help here, and I do not think this behavior should be viewed negatively from a moral standpoint; it is more a matter of translation between two worlds, and a matter of personal privacy.

After a full year of post-addiction, functional, socially-integrated (into healthy, non-user social circles), you might find yourself able to go weeks without having to "bend the truth" around your sober friends. In time, perhaps you might feel comfortable enough to open up about your past to some of them, thus further relaxing the pressure to lie. At this point, the instinctive habit will probably have faded away for the most part, except perhaps as a gut reaction when asked about sensitive topics or moments.

Best of luck handling life post-addiction. It has its intricacies, but is decidedly worth it.
 
stardust.hero said:
Habits I think they say take about 6 weeks to break with conscious correction. Perhaps if you attempt to identify when you lie and then try to catch it before it happens and continue to do this, you'll eventually be able to break the habit. It's worth a try.
Click to expand...

I agree with stardust.

To add to what she said, OP, have you tried CBT? If you allow them to, they can help you break the cycle of lying and find out what the root cause is and why you lie.

mrflowers00 said:
you know lying (sp?) isn't really a bad thing unless it hurts someone ore causes you personal problems IMO
Click to expand...

What's so hard about telling the truth?

Lying just creates a plethora of problems, and it's much more difficult than being truthful. When you lie you have to remember what it was and keep up with that so you don't get caught in your web of lies. Once that happens, no one will believe a word that you say and you will more than likely lose credibility as a person.
 
thats why i said it's only a problem if it causes problems there are instances where i need to lie because people wouldn't know how to handle the truth
 
^^ I agree. If people can't handle the truth, then that's their issue, not yours. They need to gain the maturity to deal with how to handle truth.
 
Honesty is a great policy. If a person cannot accept you and you feel a need to lie to be friends you really don't need to be friends.why care when you should just carry on?
 
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