1. Thanks everybody for taking care to participate in this thread. I mean it, I usually assume people don't care about me.
2. Let's start with facts: "I haven't used coke for 6 days now. Smoked weed almost daily, used Concerta ~ 60mg extended (methylphenidate) daily and Xanax once. At the moment, besides daily Concerta, I used around 100 ml of hard liquor, smoked a little hash and plan a session of coke. I don't have much coke left, so today is to finish it. I deliberately planned sequence of drugs to get as high as possible. Everything besides Concerta is consumed during last 1 hour for upcoming maximum high.
3. In the past 6 days, I very often thought about upcoming coke session and carefully planned it. I anticipate much joy from it. The most desired feature from using all of that is concurrent experience of of strong body-high (feeling of flow or smth.) and clear thinking (weed plus alcohol produce the first, but absolutely kills the second for me).
4. I am pretty sure that I will not get addicted, fail at professional or personal life. The worst that could happen and what I most care about is immediate dangers - heart things, toxicity, maybe paranoia. My heart situation is superb (medical conclusion), alcohol and coke use at moderate amounts is very common and is not harmful for almost everyone and paranoia could hardly happen from such a cocktail.
My strategy for now is: check finances and work and personal obligations, if it's OK, use if you want.
I very much understand this is harm reduction site, but isn't whole harm reduction idea is about use if you want, but here're tips how to harm yourself less?

But I am interested in anything anyone wants to say, I like changing my mind.
I won't argue with you about me doing VERY risky things, but just one fact: 80-90% of users of any drug are not getting addicted.
Also, that's Ludwig Wittgenstein in place of my image here at BL. He had a very interesting life - very privileged and rich, reformed the whole field of philosophy ant 22 or so by writing one book, then wrote another which made same reform again. Never was very much part of anything official (like university).