darkisbrooklyn
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2001
- Messages
- 114
for myself, stopping iv h use was easy. i just stopped. a few days of melancholy, sickness, restless legs, entire body cravings...it was like i wanted a medicine. i would think of going home and shooting up, of how it would ease the sweats and make my bones feel good again. i was not one who could shoot and then go out, i would shoot and caress and cuddle with a cute blonde and talk about inane or deep topics and watch strange tv. for me the h was always free. after i stopped for about four to six months, i bought a bag just to see...and the feeling was different. there was no real bliss, just mechanical, artificial feelings. i didn't have the day to day cravings that needed to be sated. i won't do h again, it doesn't interest me anymore, it doesn't have the same numbing feel as it did before.
snorthing coke in a small group is very enjoyable to me at first. it starts off socially inviting and welcoming and gradually degenerates into general bitchiness, crankiness, greediness, and everyone becomes an asshole if there isn't too much booze or aren't any benzos around. i will snort coke by myself, it's enjoyable but different. the social aspect is gone, i become somewhat more productive, just somewhat. it's easier to moderate doses, but still, if you have under a sixteenth, it'll probably end up tooted. the desire for one more line is very strong and for most people, whatever coke you have that night will be done that night.
shooting coke is entirely different. you might not use all the coke you have, but you will inject and inject and inject over and over from thirty to five to two minute intervals. it is all consuming, the pleasure from it is very base, it's like eating. you will shoot until your body is overloaded and often past that. it is very easy to od this way. Sometime after your 20th shot, you will notice it's not even fun or there is no rush or that feeling, but you keep on doing it. so now i no longer bang it.
mixing the two...h and coke... it's playing with fire and you'll most likely get burned...it's too easy to die this way, your judgment is off and you want a little more of this, top it off with that... you experience the full spectrum of desire and fulfillment, it is incredible and something i will never do anymore.
the very act of injecting, to hit the vein perfectly, see that blood plume, know you're in, taste it, just a little, test the strength...then plunge and fill it up with your crimson blood, getting every last bit of chemical and cut...pull out without a mark...it's so fucking sexy. if you play with needles, then be prepared for the consequences. situations WILL come up where you will be faced with a high by using someone else's gear. what will you do? do you trust yourself enough to toe the line? do you trust them enough to call the ambulance for you?
snorthing coke in a small group is very enjoyable to me at first. it starts off socially inviting and welcoming and gradually degenerates into general bitchiness, crankiness, greediness, and everyone becomes an asshole if there isn't too much booze or aren't any benzos around. i will snort coke by myself, it's enjoyable but different. the social aspect is gone, i become somewhat more productive, just somewhat. it's easier to moderate doses, but still, if you have under a sixteenth, it'll probably end up tooted. the desire for one more line is very strong and for most people, whatever coke you have that night will be done that night.
shooting coke is entirely different. you might not use all the coke you have, but you will inject and inject and inject over and over from thirty to five to two minute intervals. it is all consuming, the pleasure from it is very base, it's like eating. you will shoot until your body is overloaded and often past that. it is very easy to od this way. Sometime after your 20th shot, you will notice it's not even fun or there is no rush or that feeling, but you keep on doing it. so now i no longer bang it.
mixing the two...h and coke... it's playing with fire and you'll most likely get burned...it's too easy to die this way, your judgment is off and you want a little more of this, top it off with that... you experience the full spectrum of desire and fulfillment, it is incredible and something i will never do anymore.
the very act of injecting, to hit the vein perfectly, see that blood plume, know you're in, taste it, just a little, test the strength...then plunge and fill it up with your crimson blood, getting every last bit of chemical and cut...pull out without a mark...it's so fucking sexy. if you play with needles, then be prepared for the consequences. situations WILL come up where you will be faced with a high by using someone else's gear. what will you do? do you trust yourself enough to toe the line? do you trust them enough to call the ambulance for you?
