Cocaine

[*SWeeT-e*]

Pure white
the colour of innocence
what You stole from me
the first time we met so long ago.
Calling out to me
quietly
seductively
letting me know You are waiting for me.
Magnetic force compelling me to
walk toward You
reach out my hand and
touch You.
Tiny particles
they stick to my sweaty fingers and
I bring You up to my mouth to
taste You.
Bittersweet on my tongue
reminds me
I once loved You and
I once hated You.
Numbing my gums
Holding promises of doing likewise to
my heart, my mind and my soul
oh beautiful and terrible void of feeling.
Missing You
constant companion in times of need
instant gratification that eases the pain.
I am torn.
Friend
Foe
Lover
Master
Dare I give myself over to You again?
Then I see You
not for what You have been to me
but for what You really are
Powder
Chemical
Drug
Death
Hopes and dreams stolen
Mind re-opened
New-found freedom
I worked hard for this.
Pick You up
hold You in my hand one last time
cast You into the toilet and
flush you out of my life forever.
You disappear in the swirling waters
how long it has taken me
to finally realize
you shouldn't have to sell your soul to feel alive.
~Kim.

 

[housefreeeek]

Wow
------------------
- "God made me Funky!"

 

[alykitty]

My goodness, SWeet-e!!! I have grown fond of your writing in here and have often felt that the two of us have alot in common but it seems you just peered into a time in my life a few years ago...I was heavily addicted to cocaine..I dropped out of school, moved from my home (a good home at that) and took on 2 to 3 jobs so I could support my habbit!!..At the time it was all fun and games...me, my friends, and an unbeiveable high..what more could I have wanted!! But after awhile it took over me..It trasformed me into a person that, not only others disliked, but that I soon came to loathe... I took the hard road and rehabilatated myself..not letting anyone else in, near, or around!! It took awhile, that was 5 years ago, and to this day I still have trouble with it..but I know that I NEVER want to be "that girl" again!! When I look back at those times, I am discusted with myself, but I would never change what I went thru, for a learned so much about myself, my friends, and my addictions...
I admire you for not only overcoming what you have, but for writing this and sharing it with us!!!

 

[Crow]

I'm proud that you have come so far, yet realize that the journey isn't over yet.
(((hugs)))
Crowe

 

[MiNiMoWs]

big strong hug
you have my full support, sweetheart.
it's not an easy thing to get through, but holy shit, once you're over it - nothing can stop you from doing all the things you've ever wanted in life - not one single thing.
the one word that you included in this poem which couldn't have fit more perfectly is "bittersweet" which describes mine and most other people's addiction with this substance.
much love and respect.
xoxox.barbie