COCAINE: The biggest mistake of my life

[Yves]

Hello,

I tried cocaine 6 months ago (2 lines the size of matchsticks) along with one beer and one whiskey. I felt nothing special aside from an elevated heart rate.

The following morning (after 5 hours) was the most terrifying thing I've ever felt. I felt a very fast heart rate and I thought I was going to die of a heart attack. I went to the ER and they game me a beta blocker to calm down. This helped a lot.

After this, I've done EVERY test there is: EKG, Echocardiogram, Holter, Stress Test etc. They found nothing.

But, I still live in fear that I damaged myself somehow and I am now afraid to exert myself because I believe I will experience sudden death.

Even the tiniest effort raises my heart rate substantially but it never actually exceeds 100 BPM. Which makes me think it is all in my head. I also get elevated heart rate out of nowhere event when seated.

I cannot explain it, but I live with a constant heartache/burn and it cripples me. I also "think" I get heart palpitations/extrasystoles.

I suspect that it is all from PTSD and anxiety from that night, but even the realization of it doesn't change things.

Question: Can you die from that dose and alchohol mixture from doing it the first time? (I know I'm alive, I just want to know how close I was.) I've witnessed little girls do 10 times the amount I did that night and are fine.

I never smoked, I never drink heavily and I don't drink coffee.

An answer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

PS: Please don't laugh if I look like a pussy.

 

[RTrain]

Odds are it is just anxiety issues. Maybe you would benefit from a small dose of a beta blocker on a regular basis. What age are you?

 

[tripnotyzm]

Hey Yves!
I can sort of relate to your situation..
For a pretty long time i was experiencing abnormal chest/heart pains after one bad experience with methamphetamine.
At first, I was sure that i was feeling pain, but after weeks and months went by, i started to understand that these feelings of discomfort were really issues i had with anxiety, something that i would subconsciously work myself up over with time and time again.
In the end the feelings of pain and discomfort gradually faded out, and nowadays it rarely bothers me...
But if i sit there and constantly focus my thoughts on my heart, and i start telling myself that there is a problem with my heart, well, my brain is going to start sending signals to other parts of my body, telling it to feel pain and discomfort.
Sometimes you need to enforce a positive out look on your life.
I think it is pretty unlikely that two very small lines of cocaine will cause permanent damage (or death) to your body and organs, but we will never really know that.
If the doctors say you are all good and everything is working fine, then you need to start relaxing your mind and forget about the night this all went down.

 

[Yves]

Thanks for the replies.

@RTrain: I am 25 years old.

@trinotyzm: Thank you for sharing and I am glad you are feeling better. The worst was the first month, where I felt major panic attacks with derealization and depersonalization. After that the anxiety gradually started going down, but it never went away six months later.

I am amazed that 2 lines fucked me up this bad while I witnessed people doing grams with liters of jack, and walking away... Insane.

 

[the_Owl]

Cocaine is not a very smart drug to experiment or use.

It doesn't really do much and the effects are so subtle that it just doesn't really do anything of significance.

You can only really create some kind of dependence on it in in the long term and it really isn't advisable to do that.

I've only tried it once and it was very terrible. It barely did anything at all.

I'd prefer if I did not do it at all in the first place.

 

[sekio]

If the doctors have checked you out and you're physically fine, the damage was not of a physical nature, it was likely because you had an intense panic attack on the comedown and it has been a fixation for you, making this a form of PTSD.

You just have to remember, it's incredibly rare that physically healthy 20-somethings will just suddenly die for no explainable cause. Worrying about it is only going to make you more anxious, and as your body becomes anxious it triggers fight-or-flight responses, like raising your heart rate... you see where this is going. This happens a lot to people who don't do much in the way of recreational drugs, because altered states can be really scary. It happens with just about every drug, too (I've seen it happen with MDMA, cocaine, meth, marijuana, alcohol, DXM, LSD, 2C-x, datura... the list goes on), so it's not a sign of physical damage.

The only solutions that come to mind are - talk to people, maybe get a counsellor, and try to move on with your life. Everyone has that one experience where they drank too much, or did acid and found they don't like it, or their dog died and they were emotionally ruined, or whatever. You just can't let one bad night define you for the rest of your life.

 

[plmar]

Everyone nowadays has heart disease so don't worry about it.

You probably triggered some sort of anxiety or something.

 

[Yves]

WOW! I am truly amazed of the response quality. I didn't expect answers... Thank you very much for helping me.

I also think I managed to find the reason why I felt heartburn. I did a stomach X-Ray a few days ago and I found out I have gastritis caused by helicobacter pylori.

This has been bothering me since the cocaine night and I would blame the stress induced immunity drop for this.

I am getting it treated and hopefully I will get back on track without my chest burning

Thank you again for comforting me and I apologize I cannot contribute back with any advice since I lack experience.

 

[neversickanymore]

Cocaine is not a very smart drug to experiment or use.

It doesn't really do much and the effects are so subtle that it just doesn't really do anything of significance.

You can only really create some kind of dependence on it in in the long term and it really isn't advisable to do that.

I've only tried it once and it was very terrible. It barely did anything at all.

I'd prefer if I did not do it at all in the first place.

The effect of cocaine vary greatly with the quality of the drug and you can be greatly affected by this drug and depending on the ROA you can become addicted very quickly.

 

[Yves]

@neversickanymore: Kind of hard getting addicted after experiencing true terror.