IAmTheWalrus
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2005
- Messages
- 241
It's two o'clock in the morning and i am awoken by my friend D, who at the time is living with me (this is when i was still living w/ my mom and brother, so living with us i should probably say) and t barge into my room. i quickly make sure i am covered as i like to sleep naked sometimes.
"get up. we're going to my guy's house and we're gonna snort coke!" d says in a hushed, excited voice, sounding just a tad bit like a hype.
almost immediately i kick them out of my room.
so i can get ready to leave, of course.
we sneak out of my house, not wanting my brother and my mom to find out. even though my brother is 16 and usually down, he hates coke and will probably have a fit if he finds out.
we cruise down the road in t's red car, and i can barely keep myself from asking if we can start doing some now.
"we already did some" d informs me. "this guy's house we're going to, he sold it to me today and said that if we do it all with him, he'll pay me back the two hundred it cost me to buy it."
i flash back to this afternoon. i was sitting in my room with my bf (who does not like coke, to say the least) i hear the door open and close, not surprised or curious. d told me ahead of time who would be coming over and what was happening. the plan was to slang coke. after a few minutes i hear some nervous laughter, two large sniffing sounds, the front door opening and closing. d comes running up to show me the two bags. hardly enough to be worth fifty, i thought to myself. and not even solid. i mentioned this to him, but i went ignored. d was too busy begging my bf to let me do some, without even asking me if i wanted to, i might add. which i did very much i might add again. lol but not in front of the bf. he then proceeds to talk our fucking ears off for an hour about his job. we were so annoyed.
when we get to the house, there are two guys sitting on the bed and one at his computer. the one at his computer was dark haired and overweight, i later found out he was at least thirty. the house was covered in beer cans and toilet paper.
right away, one of the guys pulls out d's bag,and i couldnt help but wonder why someone else was holding onto his shit. but i was about to get high, who cared who cut it as long as it was passed my way? he cut tiny lines and everyone took a turn. he repeated the process. when i got the mirror, there were two left. one was d's and one was mine.
"u mind if i do both?" i asked "one nostril hasant gotten any yet, you know...and it feels uneven..."i said with a smile, but not joking by any means.
he lets me. we contiue to do lines. then
i am high. i am so fucking high. my leg bounces up and down, my tongue is hitting every side of my mouth. i have this powerful urge to talk. at this point, i must have looked like a damn crackhead, how tiny i am and the way i was dressed, not to mention my behavior. i pace around the house for a bit, call everyone i know, ignoring the fact that this is extremely ignorant, especially since i know alot of my friend's live at home with parents, and last time i got all coked up and called someone i pretty much destroyed a friendship with my preaching ways.
i get a ahold of my friend k and we talk for a long time about my "brilliant" ideas concerning politics, economics, etc. coke makes me feel so smart lol. as we talk, or should i say as i lecture, i pace from the dingy bathroom into the dingy kitchen, and vice versa again and again.
eventually i let her get back to sleeping, and i talk to t for a while until he asks me to stop because i am talking too much. so d asks me to play him at tekkon, something i havent played since about 5th grade. but i manage to kick the shit out of his character by frantically pushing every button randomly as fast as i can until the game is won.
when d feels like a man again, he asks me to go for a walk. it is cold outside, but at first i am numb to it. we walk for a while. the sun starts to come up, i start to come down, and my toes (which are not covered in the flip flops im wearing ) are freezing. we head back to the house, do another line.
after an uneventful period, i come down more and then d, t, and i try to fall asleep on the same couch. after a half an hour, i decide sleeping is not going to happen and suggest that we go back to my house now. so we did. i manage to fall asleep around 8:30 or so, only to be woken up at 10:00 by my bf.
i thought it was an appropriate way to say good bye o cocine, as i never want to do it again. well, i want to do it, but i dont want to want to. coke is a dangerous drug for me. since my early teens i had an obsession with it, before i even did it. so when i did do it, i loved it. i dont want to love it anymore. i just wanted a calm, controlled night of doing it to get over it.
"get up. we're going to my guy's house and we're gonna snort coke!" d says in a hushed, excited voice, sounding just a tad bit like a hype.
almost immediately i kick them out of my room.
so i can get ready to leave, of course.
we sneak out of my house, not wanting my brother and my mom to find out. even though my brother is 16 and usually down, he hates coke and will probably have a fit if he finds out.
we cruise down the road in t's red car, and i can barely keep myself from asking if we can start doing some now.
"we already did some" d informs me. "this guy's house we're going to, he sold it to me today and said that if we do it all with him, he'll pay me back the two hundred it cost me to buy it."
i flash back to this afternoon. i was sitting in my room with my bf (who does not like coke, to say the least) i hear the door open and close, not surprised or curious. d told me ahead of time who would be coming over and what was happening. the plan was to slang coke. after a few minutes i hear some nervous laughter, two large sniffing sounds, the front door opening and closing. d comes running up to show me the two bags. hardly enough to be worth fifty, i thought to myself. and not even solid. i mentioned this to him, but i went ignored. d was too busy begging my bf to let me do some, without even asking me if i wanted to, i might add. which i did very much i might add again. lol but not in front of the bf. he then proceeds to talk our fucking ears off for an hour about his job. we were so annoyed.
when we get to the house, there are two guys sitting on the bed and one at his computer. the one at his computer was dark haired and overweight, i later found out he was at least thirty. the house was covered in beer cans and toilet paper.
right away, one of the guys pulls out d's bag,and i couldnt help but wonder why someone else was holding onto his shit. but i was about to get high, who cared who cut it as long as it was passed my way? he cut tiny lines and everyone took a turn. he repeated the process. when i got the mirror, there were two left. one was d's and one was mine.
"u mind if i do both?" i asked "one nostril hasant gotten any yet, you know...and it feels uneven..."i said with a smile, but not joking by any means.
he lets me. we contiue to do lines. then
i am high. i am so fucking high. my leg bounces up and down, my tongue is hitting every side of my mouth. i have this powerful urge to talk. at this point, i must have looked like a damn crackhead, how tiny i am and the way i was dressed, not to mention my behavior. i pace around the house for a bit, call everyone i know, ignoring the fact that this is extremely ignorant, especially since i know alot of my friend's live at home with parents, and last time i got all coked up and called someone i pretty much destroyed a friendship with my preaching ways.
i get a ahold of my friend k and we talk for a long time about my "brilliant" ideas concerning politics, economics, etc. coke makes me feel so smart lol. as we talk, or should i say as i lecture, i pace from the dingy bathroom into the dingy kitchen, and vice versa again and again.
eventually i let her get back to sleeping, and i talk to t for a while until he asks me to stop because i am talking too much. so d asks me to play him at tekkon, something i havent played since about 5th grade. but i manage to kick the shit out of his character by frantically pushing every button randomly as fast as i can until the game is won.
when d feels like a man again, he asks me to go for a walk. it is cold outside, but at first i am numb to it. we walk for a while. the sun starts to come up, i start to come down, and my toes (which are not covered in the flip flops im wearing ) are freezing. we head back to the house, do another line.
after an uneventful period, i come down more and then d, t, and i try to fall asleep on the same couch. after a half an hour, i decide sleeping is not going to happen and suggest that we go back to my house now. so we did. i manage to fall asleep around 8:30 or so, only to be woken up at 10:00 by my bf.
i thought it was an appropriate way to say good bye o cocine, as i never want to do it again. well, i want to do it, but i dont want to want to. coke is a dangerous drug for me. since my early teens i had an obsession with it, before i even did it. so when i did do it, i loved it. i dont want to love it anymore. i just wanted a calm, controlled night of doing it to get over it.
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