Cocaine, long term?

[Psykosiz]

OK ill be throwing up a lot of shit here (ideas, theories, y'know?), much appreciated if any responsible (are there ANY?) coke users wood reply.
first of all, i havent used coke in nearly 4 weeks since i returned from Amsterdam. i've never even smoked it never mind IV'n it as some of the fiends around here do.
before going, i hadn't used much (i had also given it a 3 week break beforehand).
my first question, the last rock i got in holland appeared kinda crystaly (which the guy was real proud of, throwin free samples at me, etc..). id never seen any coke like that before, the stuff over here is pretty piss and even the other batches i got over there..none had the crystal like appearance that this partiular rock did when exposed to light. i thought it was crack at first but after he reassured me i snorted it (and i rubbed some on my gums) i bought it and it was pretty good. so is it a sign of quality or not, crystals? i found it difficult to compare to the other shit cos id been coke'd and stoned all week, plus id had shr00mz and awesome ecstasy.
OK, now to the kinda shady aspect of 'caine.. addiction, paranoid skitzophrenia and what not. i dont have many friends who use it, but my friends big brother is just out of rehab and man he isnt even drinkin no more and has said how coke has made him ultra para (admittingly, he got suckered into using it daily for 6months).
to be to the point, i dont know 1 person who has a controlled cocaine useage (and i know a good handful of users), most have been using it long-term. i am going to Amsterdam once again in 3 1/2 weeks and while ive had second thoughts, i am going with a coke dood and will undoubtably be blastin the shit.
the thing is, i ate a bit of hash a while ago and had the usual enlightenment and it made me realise that deep, deep down i cood do with a dose of coke, and that in fact i seem to be gettin the kinda split personality pisstake thing that ive heard about.
ie. 1 minute im thinkin 'oh no i cant be doin with that shit over here cos the quality is so bad and [the usual reasons u think when u dont want to commit urself to something addictive]'
then ill remember the dunt and it'll just hit me, ill forget every reason of why i DIDNT want to do it.
ok, having typed that u get the idea. no doubt that sounds REAL bad. i havent used the shit in weeks and ive got a undercover craving which can be particularly realised when im REALLY stoned.
other than that, then its very occasionally i even feel like coke (actually its just when i talk to people who are assosiated with it or i listen to some particular jazz tracks, miles davis - theres something going on

).
um, no real question here i suppose really but im just lookin for some sort of reassurance cos im well aware of the fact that coke has a horrible relapse rate and that cravings, in the worst cases, can last for 9 months.

 

[The_Bean]

word

 

[E-amf]

Hey,
I don't want to "reassure" you or anything like that - because that is quite impossible. Depends on you, and the people around you I figure.
But I know quite many, who do E, Speed, and/or Cocaine. None of them do drugs on "normal days", but "have fun" in weekends instead.
A few have started to have problems with it, and done it on weekdays too, after work, or such - but they have all been helped to stop, by friends, without any "outside help". I figure that is one of the reasons that im fairly relaxed with drugs, because I know friends are close by, will help, and will understand.
So yes its possible to do cocaine without becomming an addict - atleast if you ask me.
But figure it out for yourself, your the one that decides to become an addict if you do. Your friends can pull you in either direction, but I doubt they can "force" you in any direction.
On a side note, I doubt I would do drugs, if all my friends stopped - what would the point be for going to a party and being the only one on drugs, might as well be drunk and puke with everyone else?

 

[Psykosiz]

um yea that post mite look a bit stupid but i think it helped me realise ill be giving it up again when i get back from holland, its hardly worth it over here tho ill prolly take it when offered kinda thing (hopefully, unless the fiendish behaviour takes over).
i dont think i wood ever let myself fall into repetitive use pattern, but then i always here the shit about THINKING that you think your in control and whatnot boolshit i guess jus everything in moderation..
i cant believe no one responded with any info on whether crystal was a sign of quality (ie. should i look out for that again?). guess its substance for a new post...
tho lookin back now, without the [moderate] subconcious cravings, i think "cocaine" and "long-term" are careless factors. tho i kinda did wonder if there were people who had been using it on the side for ages, w/o obvious fuckups.
thats some heavy stoned rambling, to my own post as well...fucksake i shood get a job or something.

 

[Timerare2]

Eek. Frankly, how much of a drug addict you are is equal to how many drugs you do and how long you have been doing them.
You can't 'resist' an addiction. You can refuse to give in to one. You can make sure you don't develop one (by not using too many drugs), but an addiction of a certain extent is the DIRECT AND INEVITABLE RESULT of using a certain amount of drugs.
So, when your friend tells you 'don't worry, I won't get addicted' he is being a dick-wad and has his head up his ass.
If he says "I will never use enough of the drug that I will develop an addiction that is stronger than I can fight'' then he is being realistic.
From the looks of it, you are an addict.
Last time you quit for a 'whole 3 week's... well... to normal people, 3 weeks is not a long time. It only seems like a long time when you are a coke-head and you had to go that long without coke.
It also so happens that the 'honeymoon' phase of addiction recovery lasts about that long, and most people who make it through acute withdrawals have no trouble going without the drug for 2 weeks to a month or so. Then they revert. Hence, the 'addiction cycle'.
Now, just because the addiction cycle for stimulants has different extents and you clearly aren't at the 'binging non-stop' stage, doesn't mean you aren't addicted.
There is also the 'Use for a week, quit for a month, use for a week, quit for a month.'
Stage. And when you get into that habit it SEEMS like you are slowly quitting, cause before that maybe you used even more, but really you are just going through an addiction. If you wanted to quit, you'd fucking quit. If you wanted to keep using, you'd keep using. If you want to quit but can't, thats when you get this 'On/Off/On/Off' bullshit.
If you want to 'limit' or 'control' your usage to a certain amount, yeah, you can manage that, but lets be realistic, even if you only have a one night a month coke-habit, its going to cost you some money, slowly fuck up your dopamine system, and cause you problems just like any other usage would. And lets also be realistic... if you are a PARTICULARLY strong willed person you may be able to maintain that level of usage for years and years and years... but we all face moments of emotional weakness (Wife left you, grandma died, serious car accident, daughter pregnant, whatever)... and if you are a user at all you run a serious risk of increasing usage when that problem arises... Of course, when the problem clears up you may reduce usage again, but is it necessarily a good idea to turn to a drug to solve your life-problems, even on a short-term basis?
The ONLY way to do drugs without getting burnt is to limit your usage to a reasonable amount, and to limit even THAT usage, to a reasonable time frame.
Ecstasy every day. Not okay.
Ecstasy once a month for 6 months. Okay.
Ecstasy once a month for 10 years. Not okay.
[This message has been edited by Timerare2 (edited 28 August 2001).]