Clueless baby tweeker here

[Blavlanamebla]

I’ve been reading this page for months now started smoking Crystal meth about 8 months ago binging then started smoking/using daily maybe 3 or 4 months ago, maintaining (feeling no high, no pleasure, no energy, no focus) for 2 or 3 months now …. I’ve been going through the normal obsessive researching: how to bring down tolerence, how to rebuild dopamine, what meds enhance, is the dope to good or to bad?, am I to high or not high enough? is this cut with msm iso or fentanyl? Every medical journal published on meth use lol (i usually assume im high at that point just not a pleasurable high) but I’ve gathered this far that it’s all meth(or close as I’m gonna get in Reno) and I should take a “break” if I want to feel effects again, but I’m a daily user, mother of 3, run a business, wife (hence the start of the using) it became a habit after just one month where I didn’t have a free day or two to “take a break“ now I would need more than that even and it just always seems impossible …. So in the meantime trying to figure out essentially harm reduction so I’m not smoking myself to death (have switched to majority plugging, tried snorting it was meh still refuse to touch a needle) or smoking something (that’s even more) unsafe … so if you feel that you are knowledgable in the substance I would love to chat , as long as your not one of these twats/12 step thumpers (been there done that for years for opiates) thinking telling anyone to “just not do it“ will make a lick of difference

also real quick this is my oversimplified theory on drug information and the internet:

When trying to find information about crystal meth on the Internet you have the same 6 people you get answers from 1. you have the old geezer who keeps telling you what an outrage it is that this new stuff calls itself crystal meth 2. you have the computer chemist who just tells you the chemical makeup of everything 3. you have the person who has had a perfect functioning addiction and tells you your symptoms have nothing to do with the drug(don’t Believe them they do) 5. the person who doesn’t understand harm reduction and just tells you that you need to stop crystal meth before you die … or the devil gets your soul 6. The Newly clean(or creepy old timer) 12 step pusher

 

[Jabberwocky]

hey @Blavlanamebla - thanks for being here.

hopefully it's not like the experience you've had online so far.

all walks of life, intelligence, humor, creativity and expression all here on BL

welcomee

 

[VerbalTruist]

I’ve been reading this page for months now started smoking Crystal meth about 8 months ago binging then started smoking/using daily maybe 3 or 4 months ago, maintaining (feeling no high, no pleasure, no energy, no focus) for 2 or 3 months now …. I’ve been going through the normal obsessive researching: how to bring down tolerence, how to rebuild dopamine, what meds enhance, is the dope to good or to bad?, am I to high or not high enough? is this cut with msm iso or fentanyl? Every medical journal published on meth use lol (i usually assume im high at that point just not a pleasurable high) but I’ve gathered this far that it’s all meth(or close as I’m gonna get in Reno) and I should take a “break” if I want to feel effects again, but I’m a daily user, mother of 3, run a business, wife (hence the start of the using) it became a habit after just one month where I didn’t have a free day or two to “take a break“ now I would need more than that even and it just always seems impossible …. So in the meantime trying to figure out essentially harm reduction so I’m not smoking myself to death (have switched to majority plugging, tried snorting it was meh still refuse to touch a needle) or smoking something (that’s even more) unsafe … so if you feel that you are knowledgable in the substance I would love to chat , as long as your not one of these twats/12 step thumpers (been there done that for years for opiates) thinking telling anyone to “just not do it“ will make a lick of difference

also real quick this is my oversimplified theory on drug information and the internet:

When trying to find information about crystal meth on the Internet you have the same 6 people you get answers from 1. you have the old geezer who keeps telling you what an outrage it is that this new stuff calls itself crystal meth 2. you have the computer chemist who just tells you the chemical makeup of everything 3. you have the person who has had a perfect functioning addiction and tells you your symptoms have nothing to do with the drug(don’t Believe them they do) 5. the person who doesn’t understand harm reduction and just tells you that you need to stop crystal meth before you die … or the devil gets your soul 6. The Newly clean(or creepy old timer) 12 step pusher

Those of us who claim to be a 3, rarely are. Either we’re deeper in than we like to admit. Or we’re dealing with serious shit and the only we way we know how to cope is to imbibe to the point of oblivion on a daily basis. Get up the next day and do it again.

From personal experience. That shit ain’t sustainable. However, those people do sometimes do have good advice on how not to destroy your life.

Does your family know you’re tweaking? Are you there, yet? How’s it going?

Thoughts on addiction aside… Welcome to Bluelight! Come on into DC, The Lounge, and wherever else you like.

 

[Joey]

I've found that gabapentin enhances the euphoria of meth a fair bit. There's some study that gabapentin has reduced the "place preference" ala their motivation to go to their place to get their dose of the drug too. Same study says they were observed to have a decreased sentiivity to the effects of meth too with some insight to the possible chemical and neurological responses involved, but I didn't experience that. It just made it feel better. Gabapentin does reduce nervous excitability so I think that could be more in how they were observed to move and behave with a stabler nervous response, rather than anything experientally reduced in their 'high'. You cant ask a mouse how they feel.

I can't say gabapentins ever helped me in reducing my drive to use it, but this does line up with my experience. When I was using this mix semi-regularly I'd use 600-1200mg. That was 2-4 300mg capsules. There wasn't a drastic effect like I felt it was adding a whole new level to my meth use. It just increased the euphoria some. Some people take gabapentinoids to get high and they just love it, but I've never found them to be very potent. They're perfect for this kind of thing though in my experience. Meth bad for its CNS effects too so I think maybe this might help settle you some physically if you're tweaking out at all. Don't take my word for it, but I've found only positive things here myself.

Aside from that, my best advice is that you're just going to have to accept that you're so used to the high both physically and experientally your good time is over. It's not going to have the same effects ever again even if you stop, because you've been through this hundreds of times now. Whenever I've gone back to a substance I've used many times after a break even, I don't get the same kick out of it mentally that I used to. You've developed all sorts of memory in your neuronal pathways for it by now to methamphetamines, and like muscle memory it doesn't take long to be right back in the swing of where you are now. You can still have a good time with it, but it's old news. Chasing it isn't going to help. The less you use each day the better. If you increase it much more you'll wind up exactly where you are now at a higher dose, but your physical tolerance to things like the cardiovascular and neurological damage don't go up equally. I got so bad once I IV'd a gram and only got moderately high for 4-6 hours about before a sleep. There's no way that wasn't extremely taxing to my body though, I took a break and i've never let it get so bad since. IV use is a ticket to building tolerance to the psychoactive effects to stupid high levels very quickly,

For the long haul, making sure to take good care of yourself otherwise if you're going to continue daily use is the best way to feel better as well as managing the habit to keep your level of meth use at a stable low if you aren't feeling up to a break. Eat better, sleep more if you aren't sleeping enough (I can sleep every night with a daily habit because I'm used to it) and drink more water. Do things to fulfill your emotional needs and have good experiences otherwise, The same rules to enjoying life apply drugs or no drugs,

 

[jasperkent]

For the long haul, making sure to take good care of yourself otherwise if you're going to continue daily use is the best way to feel better as well as managing the habit to keep your level of meth use at a stable low if you aren't feeling up to a break. Eat better, sleep more if you aren't sleeping enough (I can sleep every night with a daily habit because I'm used to it) and drink more water. Do things to fulfill your emotional needs and have good experiences otherwise, The same rules to enjoying life apply drugs or no drugs,

^good advice^

I would add that you would benefit from taking vitamins with food-- especially B complex and C. My experience is that moderate meth use is possible but requires serious discipline. I personally can't maintain a controlled daily habit for more than about a month-- then I need a month or more break from it. YMMV.

Good luck and WELCOME TO BLUELIGHT!

 

[Robi]

I’ve been reading this page for months now started smoking Crystal meth about 8 months ago binging then started smoking/using daily maybe 3 or 4 months ago, maintaining (feeling no high, no pleasure, no energy, no focus) for 2 or 3 months now …. I’ve been going through the normal obsessive researching: how to bring down tolerence, how to rebuild dopamine, what meds enhance, is the dope to good or to bad?, am I to high or not high enough? is this cut with msm iso or fentanyl? Every medical journal published on meth use lol (i usually assume im high at that point just not a pleasurable high) but I’ve gathered this far that it’s all meth(or close as I’m gonna get in Reno) and I should take a “break” if I want to feel effects again, but I’m a daily user, mother of 3, run a business, wife (hence the start of the using) it became a habit after just one month where I didn’t have a free day or two to “take a break“ now I would need more than that even and it just always seems impossible …. So in the meantime trying to figure out essentially harm reduction so I’m not smoking myself to death (have switched to majority plugging, tried snorting it was meh still refuse to touch a needle) or smoking something (that’s even more) unsafe … so if you feel that you are knowledgable in the substance I would love to chat , as long as your not one of these twats/12 step thumpers (been there done that for years for opiates) thinking telling anyone to “just not do it“ will make a lick of difference

also real quick this is my oversimplified theory on drug information and the internet:

When trying to find information about crystal meth on the Internet you have the same 6 people you get answers from 1. you have the old geezer who keeps telling you what an outrage it is that this new stuff calls itself crystal meth 2. you have the computer chemist who just tells you the chemical makeup of everything 3. you have the person who has had a perfect functioning addiction and tells you your symptoms have nothing to do with the drug(don’t Believe them they do) 5. the person who doesn’t understand harm reduction and just tells you that you need to stop crystal meth before you die … or the devil gets your soul 6. The Newly clean(or creepy old timer) 12 step pusher

welcome to the community, hope to never be one of THOSE people, I am one of those that hope the best of wishes to meth users cause i think they will need it but sure glad to have you here!!!!

 

[Blavlanamebla]

Thank you everyone for their reply currently trying to stop since my hands are now shaking uncontrollably and everything im seeing is strobe lights, I understand the shaking is par for the course has anyone heard anything about vision strobing whites going to blacks blacks going to whites etc… already went to the ER last night and got the old “it’s the drugs” so here I am attempting to quit…. Which seems imposible while taking care of three kids and running a bar

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Thank you everyone for their reply currently trying to stop since my hands are now shaking uncontrollably and everything im seeing is strobe lights, I understand the shaking is par for the course has anyone heard anything about vision strobing whites going to blacks blacks going to whites etc… already went to the ER last night and got the old “it’s the drugs” so here I am attempting to quit…. Which seems imposible while taking care of three kids and running a bar

Hey. I wasn’t sure about replying to your original post because I didn’t know what you were really asking or wanted from us here. I’m not anti-meth and definitely not pro 12 steps or abstinence, but I do think we should measure our usage and our problems by how much the drug is effecting our daily responsibilities on the one hand and achieving our larger life goals on the other.

I’ve had some pretty high powered adventures with meth, and a few stints where I was definitely daily dependent for months at a time. Right now I’m taking a long break to get on top of some important life goals and give my body and mind a bit of a break. But if you want to talk strategies for slowing down and being less dependent I’m happy to chat if it will help.

I will say though, the visual symptoms you are describing are potentially serious. I can’t diagnose any neurological issues or optical problems - but I worry that it might be some low grade psychosis starting. How’s your sleep in the last week?

 

[Ds]

Hi @Blavlanamebla ,
A baby tweeker huh? Well i guess evolution kind of goes in reverse whenever your crawling around your floor looking for shards of meth. Hey, maybe being a baby tweeker has it's perks right?
Regardless what brought you here, welcome

 

[Blavlanamebla]

Hey. I wasn’t sure about replying to your original post because I didn’t know what you were really asking or wanted from us here. I’m not anti-meth and definitely not pro 12 steps or abstinence, but I do think we should measure our usage and our problems by how much the drug is effecting our daily responsibilities on the one hand and achieving our larger life goals on the other.

I’ve had some pretty high powered adventures with meth, and a few stints where I was definitely daily dependent for months at a time. Right now I’m taking a long break to get on top of some important life goals and give my body and mind a bit of a break. But if you want to talk strategies for slowing down and being less dependent I’m happy to chat if it will help.

I will say though, the visual symptoms you are describing are potentially serious. I can’t diagnose any neurological issues or optical problems - but I worry that it might be some low grade psychosis starting. How’s your sleep in the last week?

My sleep is basically normal or at least I sleep 3-8 hours a night so normal for me every once in a while I stay up and do projects (like last night) those strobing symptoms and uncontrollable shaking stopped once I took 4 times my normal dose of propanalol so maybe it was high blood pressure, though when I had gone to the ER they told me all my vitals were perfect… but maybe they just wanted to get me out of their hair and figured I was just another lost cause (I have not had great experiences with doctors RE sickness during my drug use) I’m not against stopping slowing down etc there’s nothing beneficial to continued usage besides the fact I already know I’ll lose the joy I take in partaking in my hobbies, again it’s just not having even a day to dry out the responsibilities never stop coming i got out of the hospital and jumped right into a 13 hour shift because one of my employees just didnt show up. ive switched to mainly eating it just because this damn addiction is way to much work, and needs way to many accessories! plus it seems to be the safest route, ive also tried to only take .1 or .15 at a time which is half what i was doing prior

 

[Blavlanamebla]

Hi @Blavlanamebla ,
A baby tweeker huh? Well i guess evolution kind of goes in reverse whenever your crawling around your floor looking for shards of meth. Hey, maybe being a baby tweeker has it's perks right?
Regardless what brought you here, welcome

I WISH I could get that high still lol it’s been a minute, now it’s more maintaining but still totally clueless(that’s probably a given)

 

[AbbeyLee]

When trying to find information about crystal meth on the Internet you have the same 6 people you get answers from 1. you have the old geezer who keeps telling you what an outrage it is that this new stuff calls itself crystal meth 2. you have the computer chemist who just tells you the chemical makeup of everything 3. you have the person who has had a perfect functioning addiction and tells you your symptoms have nothing to do with the drug(don’t Believe them they do) 5. the person who doesn’t understand harm reduction and just tells you that you need to stop crystal meth before you die … or the devil gets your soul 6. The Newly clean(or creepy old timer) 12 step pusher

You seem pretty cluey, so I don't have much to say. Welcome to Bluelight!