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Club Question

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Giog

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 2, 2010
Messages
202
I have a few opinions/ideas about the club scene (los angeles) that I was hoping to get some feedback on. Why is it that sometimes I will go to a club (single, male), politely ask a few girls to dance, and yet all I hear are excuses about how they are with friends (I will see them there with friends not dancing all night). Some will just walk away... I know I am a handsome guy, I dress very nicely, smell good, good hygiene. This doesn't happen everytime I go out (I dont go out that often), but I more likely than not to get those results.

Women- Why bother going to a club (alright maybe just to dance? sigh) if you aren't any bit open to meet someone, maybe just spend some time dancing with them?

Me- I get it, I don't expect to find a wife or girlfriend at a club, but I figure, I'm drunk, you've probably drank, why not just entertain the situation? My ex who was there last time I went out to a club told me that she usually goes out just to dance and would never dance or interact with strangers, but then again that is how she met her current boyfriend (he used a really lame pick up line on her) :S

*I bet some of you will start talking about creeps at clubs*

I usually go with a few friends, so it's not like im hanging around the club by myself praying on women. I usually spend most of my time on the dance floor dancing. When I find a girl I like, I'll go up to her and ask her if she wants to dance. I have tried just dancing with them without asking and that doesn't seem to work as well.

Ideas, input, thoughts?
Oh and mods, sorry about that thread a few weeks ago, not sure what the hell I was thinking....
 
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a lot of girls, i notice go to the club just to be with there friends. And they don't like to dance with some stranger. The best approach is to go up to girls who either came alone, or approach girls in groups of 2-3 with a friend. For example you see 2 girls, and your with your friend, one of you leads, and talks to one, and you talk to the other. I always had great success when approaching with someone else.
 
Actions speak louder than words.
Don't ask people to dance with you. The club environment is not the prom or your typical high school homecoming dance.
If you want to dance with somebody then just do it.
 
I go to the club to dance. I don't go to talk to strangers. When I make plans with my friends, that's what I'm doing. I'll dance with a group of guys/girls as long as it's arm's length. I don't trust anyone. I bet that girl doesn't either.

I'd go to the bar to talk to strangers. Stay at the bar to talk, then, if they like you or seem interested in talking with you, ask for the whole group to dance. Make it KNOWN that you want to dance with everyone. Also, it seems to me that groups of the same number tend to co-mingle. If you're a party of one, you're not very likely to converse with a party of four. The power of numbers, mate. Learn them.
 
I don't dance with people either, except from 20 feet away, out of the corner of my eyes. Occasionally will have dance interactions with friends of mine, or random good dancers, but never touching, and those are always fleeting. I get weirded out if a guy tries to get too close to me, or tries to touch me. Not cool. Anyhow, if someone is trying to get my attention and forcing me to dance with them, even my boyfriend, it really throws off my groove. Just isn't as enjoyable. But then, I am one of those people who really gets deep into the music; ie I only dance if the music is really moving me. Its not just for show.

As for OP. Eye contact and smiling help...as long as you aren't looking like a creeper. Don't just go up to girls' asses and grind on them.
 
Sounds like the girls you talk to go to clubs to hang with their friends. They're within their right. They don't have to dance with anyone if they don't want to.
 
Giog said:
Women- Why bother going to a club (alright maybe just to dance? sigh) if you aren't any bit open to meet someone, maybe just spend some time dancing with them?
Click to expand...

- I like to listen to music
- I like to dance
- I like to hang out with my boyfriend
- I like to hang out with my friends
- I like to go out on a Friday night

It seems like you think only single people should go to clubs? Is that fair to everyone?
And people who want to hang out with their friends - they shouldn't go to clubs?

Now, that does suck that you are getting rejected by the women, but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be at a club. It's all trial and error. Most people aren't going to want to dance but keep trying and eventually you will find some women who want to dance too.

Look for women who are not in huge groups, who are not with their boyfriends, and just have a more open look, like they'd be willing to dance and hang out.

I've heard that there are clubs specifically for singles. I have never been to one or looked for one so I don't know how common they are but maybe look for them.
 
Want to meet girls - go to dive bars and smaller spots. People are more in to meeting people in smaller venues with lower volume. Dance clubs are loud, girls are there to dance, and at a huge club they have been hit on 40 times by the time you talk to them.
 
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Thanks guys, all input is appreciated. As you can tell I am fairly new to the club scene, but as I grow older and mature it is something I would like to explore. I will keep everything you guys have said in consideration next time I go to a nightclub. Coincidentally, I have never been to a bar (edit: I have a few times, actually)...and people here have said its easier to meet women there, however I cannot possibly imagine that being the case! A bar more than anything, is a place that I imagine people going to drink and mingle within their social group. What kind of bars are we talking here....?

Any more inputs and advice would also be appreciated!
 
Tech Kinetics said:
Actions speak louder than words.
Don't ask people to dance with you. The club environment is not the prom or your typical high school homecoming dance.
If you want to dance with somebody then just do it.
Click to expand...

Exactly, and when she gives you the ol' up n' down, does a hair flip and turns the other way, do what I do. Just excuse yourself, find the nearest bathroom, lock yourself in a stall and cry quietly until you feel better.
 
you dont meet new friends or find decent relationships when drinking at a club.

doesn't seem to work that way- anywhere that is loud is antisocial and purely for getting high/drunk and having fun with your friends
 
It's really trial and error. You are bound to be rejected for many reasons (most of them not personal at all). Keep trying (different girls! not the same one! lol). As well, trying a different approach (maybe not asking a girl to dance, but talking to her a bit first) could help.
 
Remember also not everyone is single. This is the thing that often gets forgotten lol.
The second you step into a club, lots of guys go into the mind set to try and talk to any girl and assume their single. Lots of girls and guys goto clubs all the time with there partner either there or at home.
In those cases, they just want to dance.
 
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