Clouds and screams...

[Cosmic Mist]

You know, today i'm feeling pretty good. I'm happy, and although i have so much to do, it doesn't matter because i have every reason in the world to look around me and smile. Everything is coming together perfectly - better than i ever thought possible... the world is a beautiful place - the colours astound me, my friends amaze me, and all in all this is the best i have felt in ages...

...except that it isn't...

Today i'm feeling ok - but not brilliant. I have a lot of work to do, and not enough time to do it in. I'm not sleeping as well as i used to - the pressure of my responsibilities is getting me down. I just need to have some time to myself - apart from that the colours are still wonderful, my friends are still terrific, everything is still fine...

...or so i keep telling myself...

Today i'm feeling a bit down - everything is piling up around me and i don't feel capable of putting pen to paper to write my way out of this hole. My head is thumping and i have cramps in my legs from sitting down for too long. All i see is the screen with it monotonous three-toned colour scheme. My friends i have not seen in ages... My body aches all over, and all i want is one, just one decent night of sleep to bring me sanctity from the chaos i have created for myself...

...but i don't have the time for sleep...

You know what? Today i feel like screaming! I feel like emptying all the turgid emotion from me into the ever present empty expanse beyond me... Just to get some colour back into my life... to feel the warmth of my spectacular friends... to know that everything will be just fine....

...and if i scream, i don't want you to come running. I don't want a thousand people to gather around me, advising me on what to do and how to live my life...

... All i want is one moment of peace to myself. A moment to find that space within me where all my smiles go. SOmetimes i forget that such a place exsists and i need to scream to disipate the colourless clouds that obcure it from my view...

today, i think i need to scream...

... But i still concur with my opening paragraph...

the world is a beautiful place - the colours astound me, my friends amaze me, and all in all this is the best i have felt in ages...

 

[neverwas]

...my friends amaze me, and all in all this is the best i have felt in ages...

your words in this part make me realise how lucky i am to have the people in my life right now...how lucky i am to have such support for what i am going through...how lucky i am to have someone be there when i wake up in the night dis-orientated and scared to sleep...how lucky i am to have friends how love me like i love them.

CM: babe ur words were touching and a really inspiring peice

*snuggles*

starfalls

 

[Taliana]

Your words always truly capture me sweetie. I love the way you think, and the way you can put it into words... such a story...

Its good you can still notice the good in your life... even when things are shit and stressful, remembering that you have friends, that you are concious to life and can see the bigger picture... just goes to prove there is a light at the end... I found it, after all mystressful years at uni and all that crap, ive found the light and am able to embrace friendships, nature, life... am just excstatic at life atm...

It'll happen for you too i know it,

 

[smileyfish]

Well expressed Cosmic Mist! You captured that duality of feeling really well and I can very much relate! I have to meet you one of these days...

Smiley

 

[Cosmic Mist]

tali and stars - thankyou, your words are very touching - here's hoping that we'll have the occasion to see each other soon.

Mr Fish - next time you come to Syd, you let me know and we can meet up for a drink or something... you going to earthcore?

 

[smileyfish]

Miss Fish here probably won't make earthcore but will take you up on that drink offer if she's ever in Sydney

 

[Cosmic Mist]

sorry man!!! I don't know why i always assumed you were a guy...

But a drink sounds sweet...

 

[mr_fluffy]

cuddlefish and smileyfish. that's cute

anyhows cm, i love your work. the subject matter is interesting in itself, but i get a nuance of something more, a certain place in life that you're at right now. especially reading the work u've posted in the last couple of days.

isn't it amazing how one wonderful thing can make all the bad and annoying things in life ok, or at least bearable?

or the converse of that, when one rotten thing manages to spoil all that is good around us. i'm glad you're happy, if not fully satisfied. i know the feeling and the tension, as i am experiencing it at this time also.