Fellowed
Bluelighter
It was fine, no problem here, although there's a trip report subforum, it's not sacrilege to do so here. All I have to say is, if you keep it to dosing 3 times a week max, you won't get too much danger of rebound anxiety. It's easy to develop an habit when used to kill stims and you're doing lots of stims (especially when both benzos and stims are scripted). Or if you like to drink and like to make it not cost you too much...not recommended, but you see what I'm saying hopefully. I wouldn't wish a benz addiction on my worst enemy!
Thanks for your concern and advice. I went through my period of reckless benzo use and I'm hoping I'm out the other side of it now. Mixing loads of diff benzos with booze and stims on the regular is a horrendous idea. I do take benzos on a semi regular basis and have had to taper off over Christmas as I found that I was getting sick. I've had addictions to many things, but nothing that made me physically ill when I didn't take it. I hadn't even been taking that many, just doing them every day for a couple of weeks (4mg of etiz max a day). Can't even imagine the horror people must go through when they're taking huge amounts and want to stop.....
Off topic but in general I find being sober incredibly difficult. I was diagnosed with adult-add a year after I quit smoking nicotine (which was good for my physical health but destroyed what little attention/motivation I did have). I'm on Ritalin every day now as standard which helps me loads but also annoys me in equal measure. Overall I'd say I've only been truly sober for about 5 months in the last 10+ years and they were the worst 5 months of my life. All I can do now I feel is manage my drug intake rather than try and do away with it completely. The fact that so many people suffer the same mental issues such as anxiety, depression etc, and find similar ways of dealing with said issues tells me that there is something seriously wrong with society. If we're all going though the same shit then that's a shared problem, not an individual one.
Benzo's are tricky little buggers. They are incredibly useful and the effects are so nicely subtle but they will completely fuck you up given half a chance. :/
I've taken another 0.5 capsule today and it seems to be working as well as it did yesterday. Going to head outside and see how I function walking around town. Shall let you all know how I get on.