Expansion420
Bluelighter
Well today I saw a Psychiatrist that a family friend of mine has been visiting for some time now. Last week I discontinued my chronic, daily cannabis use. Cold Turkey, more or less. (A rez hit or two definitely finds its way into my itinerary every day, though 
) As a result, the symptoms I had been treated for with medications (bupropion, buspirone, eszoplicone/zolpidem/ramelteon) prior to my habitual pot smoking, are re-surfacing. Coping with them has been proving quite a struggle for me.
The symptoms include insomnia, anxiety, paranoia, and mild acute depression.
I found myself discussing binding affinities for specific molecules and proteins with him. We discussed how and why benzodiazepines work on the body, the GABA receptors, the opioid receptors, the endocannabinoid system, the CNS; our conversation was magical. I am so interested in pharmacology and want so desperately to get myself out of this hole I've fallen into. This lack completely of motivation and desire to achieve success. I want to enroll in a medical program and focus on directing my passion towards success. I need to put the energy I put into researching pharmacology at home into researching pharmacology in a laboratory under close scrutiny. I love being pressured, it is when I work best. If I had a project to dis-assemble the molecular composition of serotonin , for a wild, inebriation induced example, and re-arrange its composition into something entirely different, I would be a happy learning camper. I
to learn. And I need to direct that desire towards finding my calling in life.
The doctor said these words:
"Your intelligence and your desire to learn are something that should not be forgotten in the midst of an emotional crisis. You will achieve greatness, one step at a time". It felt astonishing to sit alongside a qualified practitioner and openly compare my own diagnostics with his diagnostics. It was a collaboration in every sense of the word.
For example, he asked me. "What do you think you should be taking?"
"30mg lisdexamfetamine in the morning, 0.25mg alprazolam before dinner, 1mg clonazepam at bedtime", I said.
The two of us discussed which regimen was best suited for my personal necessities. We discusses a potential diagnosis of ADD which may require Lisdexanfetamine. We discussed the potential for Tricylic Antidepressants with Sedative effects (quetiapine, mirtazapine, trazodone) but I strongly opposed this idea and promised I would not eat a single dose. I strongly believe that psychotropic drugs are poisons used for population control. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but the statistics don't lie, and when you realize just how much money is lobbied each and every year by Pharmaceutical Representatives, it only begins to make sense that these companies will do everything they can to market and sell a new drug before the patent expires and generics become legally available. It's all about that trial period. How much $$$ can we rake in? Uh, TRIAL PERIOD... some medications only require fourteen days of clinical testing before they may receive an FDA approval and begin appearing in pharmacies left and right. Think about it! /rant
Ultimately the consensus was met and I was to be prescribed 1mg clonazepam at bed time to help combat my chronic re-surfacing insomnia that cannabinoids always helped me with, 0.5mg clonazepam once in the morning, if needed, to combat the generalized anxiety disorder, and on the followup visit six weeks from now, (I'll have called him midway to asses the progression of treatment) he will prescribe the 30mg lisdexamfetamine and see how that helps me. A major contributor to his decisions as well was my financial strain. (Does anyone know off hand what the cost difference would be between oh idk #60 40mg Adderall vs. #60 30mg Vyvanse?) I would strongly prefer vyvanse simply cause I like it better
makes me feel confident and in control all day. Only side effect I get is anorexia but I love sushi and steak and nuts and eggs so I get my protein..... eventually
I am trying to stay away from using the clonazepam recreationally (especially because I received the "Mylan" brand 1mg clonazepams). From other forums I have browsed, I have concluded that the Mylans are nowhere near as potent as say Teva or Roche... to me this seems very difficult to believe, as I would assume there are strict guidelines regulating the production of these drugs.
One post I saw, however, alarmed me slightly:
Regardless, I returned home from the pharmacy around 8pm after a dinner consisting of a 10oz breaded pork chop with butter glazed carrots, edamame, and mashed potatoes.The story goes as follows...
[One hour between eating and dosing]
T+0:00- 1mg clonazepam, oral
T+0:20- 0.5mg clonazepam, sublingual
T+1:00- Mild sedation beginning to unfold. Blurred vision. Slight stumbling.
T+1:30- Relaxation is upon me. I smoke a cigarette.
T+1:45- ~50mL whiskey for what the fucks sake. I never drink alcohol.
T+2:00- Eyes are struggling to stay open. I feel relaxed and wonderful. Gonna go smoke some more rez.
T+2:05- Holy shit I forgot I packed my bong and put it right next to me! Yay! (HUGE HIT)
T+2:10- Heh. Heh. Heh.
T+2:20- There is noticeable vision lag. Straining in my eyes. Mentally clouded.
T+2:45- Hard to keep my eyes opened. I'm taking another shot of whiskey and smoking another rez chunk. Fuck it.
T+3:00- My dog. is sosoft. and cuddleh. and small. i need sleep. cigarette seems better. (i just corrected seven typos. counting this one. 8)
T+3:10- Cigarette in my car with a slight trickle of rain calmed my nerves. I felt serene. Then the window was rolled up and I realized my bogie hot box-nausea to ensue. I moved to the porch.
T+3:30- Here I am. I think I need to go to sleep and attain the benefit this medication seems to be providing. One more rez hit and it's Goodnight!
Followups will be made in the AM (and perhaps if I don't fall asleep... lol who'm I kidding I will
)
Questions/Comments/Concerns welcome!
EDIT: CONCLUSION I slept twelve hours straight. Thank goodness for clonazepam. My insomnia has got nothing on me. Wonderful medication. I noticed onset rapidly, within sixty minutes, and the alcohol certainly boosted it's depressant effects. I felt sluggish and low at the 120 minute mark. From that point forward, one shot and three resin hits later, I was ready to fall down. I awake, twelve and a half hours later, with mild amnesia and a foggy head. I am ready to begin my day. Thank goodness I got some much needed sleep.
) As a result, the symptoms I had been treated for with medications (bupropion, buspirone, eszoplicone/zolpidem/ramelteon) prior to my habitual pot smoking, are re-surfacing. Coping with them has been proving quite a struggle for me.The symptoms include insomnia, anxiety, paranoia, and mild acute depression.
I found myself discussing binding affinities for specific molecules and proteins with him. We discussed how and why benzodiazepines work on the body, the GABA receptors, the opioid receptors, the endocannabinoid system, the CNS; our conversation was magical. I am so interested in pharmacology and want so desperately to get myself out of this hole I've fallen into. This lack completely of motivation and desire to achieve success. I want to enroll in a medical program and focus on directing my passion towards success. I need to put the energy I put into researching pharmacology at home into researching pharmacology in a laboratory under close scrutiny. I love being pressured, it is when I work best. If I had a project to dis-assemble the molecular composition of serotonin , for a wild, inebriation induced example, and re-arrange its composition into something entirely different, I would be a happy learning camper. I
to learn. And I need to direct that desire towards finding my calling in life.The doctor said these words:
"Your intelligence and your desire to learn are something that should not be forgotten in the midst of an emotional crisis. You will achieve greatness, one step at a time". It felt astonishing to sit alongside a qualified practitioner and openly compare my own diagnostics with his diagnostics. It was a collaboration in every sense of the word.
For example, he asked me. "What do you think you should be taking?"
"30mg lisdexamfetamine in the morning, 0.25mg alprazolam before dinner, 1mg clonazepam at bedtime", I said.
The two of us discussed which regimen was best suited for my personal necessities. We discusses a potential diagnosis of ADD which may require Lisdexanfetamine. We discussed the potential for Tricylic Antidepressants with Sedative effects (quetiapine, mirtazapine, trazodone) but I strongly opposed this idea and promised I would not eat a single dose. I strongly believe that psychotropic drugs are poisons used for population control. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but the statistics don't lie, and when you realize just how much money is lobbied each and every year by Pharmaceutical Representatives, it only begins to make sense that these companies will do everything they can to market and sell a new drug before the patent expires and generics become legally available. It's all about that trial period. How much $$$ can we rake in? Uh, TRIAL PERIOD... some medications only require fourteen days of clinical testing before they may receive an FDA approval and begin appearing in pharmacies left and right. Think about it! /rant
Ultimately the consensus was met and I was to be prescribed 1mg clonazepam at bed time to help combat my chronic re-surfacing insomnia that cannabinoids always helped me with, 0.5mg clonazepam once in the morning, if needed, to combat the generalized anxiety disorder, and on the followup visit six weeks from now, (I'll have called him midway to asses the progression of treatment) he will prescribe the 30mg lisdexamfetamine and see how that helps me. A major contributor to his decisions as well was my financial strain. (Does anyone know off hand what the cost difference would be between oh idk #60 40mg Adderall vs. #60 30mg Vyvanse?) I would strongly prefer vyvanse simply cause I like it better
makes me feel confident and in control all day. Only side effect I get is anorexia but I love sushi and steak and nuts and eggs so I get my protein..... eventually I am trying to stay away from using the clonazepam recreationally (especially because I received the "Mylan" brand 1mg clonazepams). From other forums I have browsed, I have concluded that the Mylans are nowhere near as potent as say Teva or Roche... to me this seems very difficult to believe, as I would assume there are strict guidelines regulating the production of these drugs.
One post I saw, however, alarmed me slightly:
Regardless, I returned home from the pharmacy around 8pm after a dinner consisting of a 10oz breaded pork chop with butter glazed carrots, edamame, and mashed potatoes.The story goes as follows...
[One hour between eating and dosing]
T+0:00- 1mg clonazepam, oral
T+0:20- 0.5mg clonazepam, sublingual
T+1:00- Mild sedation beginning to unfold. Blurred vision. Slight stumbling.
T+1:30- Relaxation is upon me. I smoke a cigarette.
T+1:45- ~50mL whiskey for what the fucks sake. I never drink alcohol.
T+2:00- Eyes are struggling to stay open. I feel relaxed and wonderful. Gonna go smoke some more rez.
T+2:05- Holy shit I forgot I packed my bong and put it right next to me! Yay! (HUGE HIT)
T+2:10- Heh. Heh. Heh.
T+2:20- There is noticeable vision lag. Straining in my eyes. Mentally clouded.
T+2:45- Hard to keep my eyes opened. I'm taking another shot of whiskey and smoking another rez chunk. Fuck it.
T+3:00- My dog. is sosoft. and cuddleh. and small. i need sleep. cigarette seems better. (i just corrected seven typos. counting this one. 8)
T+3:10- Cigarette in my car with a slight trickle of rain calmed my nerves. I felt serene. Then the window was rolled up and I realized my bogie hot box-nausea to ensue. I moved to the porch.
T+3:30- Here I am. I think I need to go to sleep and attain the benefit this medication seems to be providing. One more rez hit and it's Goodnight!
Followups will be made in the AM (and perhaps if I don't fall asleep... lol who'm I kidding I will
)Questions/Comments/Concerns welcome!
EDIT: CONCLUSION I slept twelve hours straight. Thank goodness for clonazepam. My insomnia has got nothing on me. Wonderful medication. I noticed onset rapidly, within sixty minutes, and the alcohol certainly boosted it's depressant effects. I felt sluggish and low at the 120 minute mark. From that point forward, one shot and three resin hits later, I was ready to fall down. I awake, twelve and a half hours later, with mild amnesia and a foggy head. I am ready to begin my day. Thank goodness I got some much needed sleep.
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