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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

Clever excuse to leave work for 2 weeks??

Be aware of these offshore jobs that say work for us for 2 weeks then again in a few months. Most never happen after the first 2 week trip. They would only give you 2/3 weeks off max. I have been working offshore for 15 years and it happens all the time. Ask for a contract. Not many folk on 3K a week offshore especially your first trip.
 
stormreject said:
Be aware of these offshore jobs that say work for us for 2 weeks then again in a few months. Most never happen after the first 2 week trip. They would only give you 2/3 weeks off max. I have been working offshore for 15 years and it happens all the time. Ask for a contract. Not many folk on 3K a week offshore especially your first trip.
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Welding? I don't see any jobs less than that really? Maybe 4500 PAYE. It's a company in hull that have been awarded a contract not some shit agency like BBL *cough*

I think I'll have to make up a close uncle that has died. I doubt I can play the "had a dodgy chinky last night" card for 2 weeks.
Who you working for offshore and what trade?
 
parttime crackhead said:
You're an evil genius. I thought "I've got the shits" was a good excuse that no-one really questions, or the more extreme "I've shat myself" which they definitely won't question, but "I've got HIV" beats that by a mile.
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HIV is way easier to spell than Diahorrea :D
 
I knew a guy who took so many sick days for "Diarrhoea" that his work made him got to see a proctologist. He continued faking the symptoms to such an extent that the doctor ordered a colonoscopy. When the results came back inconclusive he was placed on 3 months full paid sick leave.

You'd really want to have a camera rammed up your arse for that though.
 
Dead relative 3 days max - Ive lost count of the number of people who take weeks off for 'stress' at my work easy to blag the doc as well and they will sign you off for 2 weeks.
 
Say you and some friends went to a massage parlour a few weeks ago... you got yourself tested... got AIDS... and you need to go to the amazon jungle to see some shaman that can heal AIDS with his hands
 
blondin said:
Dead relative 3 days max - Ive lost count of the number of people who take weeks off for 'stress' at my work easy to blag the doc as well and they will sign you off for 2 weeks.
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This
 
Decided to just jack my normal job in, may say I've got HIV anyway so they don't hassle me
 
Then spend the notice period wandering round the joint with a scowling "I'm going to bum you" look upon your chops
 
One Thousand Words said:
I knew a guy who took so many sick days for "Diarrhoea" that his work made him got to see a proctologist. He continued faking the symptoms to such an extent that the doctor ordered a colonoscopy. When the results came back inconclusive he was placed on 3 months full paid sick leave.

You'd really want to have a camera rammed up your arse for that though.
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3 months off and a camera up the butt? Jackpot
 
Camera up the bum is alright, I've had loads. If you ask for sedation they give you fentanyl and midazolam, plus a bit of nitrous / oxygen mix. So it's time off work, a camera up the arse, AND free drugs!
 
Get yourself into a minor car accident. Hope it stays minor.

Why are all the excuses negative? Tell them you're getting married and need 2 weeks to honeymoon.
 
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