Nixiam
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2016
- Messages
- 2,016
I'm literally being a wimp.
Laying in bed crying, don't know what to do with myself. I'm feeling super sick. Hella sick. Anxiety through the roof.
I was Skyping a friend yesterday. She consumed 17 800mg tablets of ibuprofen. She threw up 13 while we were talking.
I warned her not to exceed maximum doses of APAP or NSAIDS.
Though, it was still 3200 mg in one dose. She has an array of health problems...
_____
I feel so helpless, you know? Maybe it's just the lack of medication talking. I don't feel like I can really save anyone. Like everything I touch either doesn't change or grows legs and runs away.
Some weird things with my head have been going on. Like really weird.
I walked into the lunchroom at my HS. Nobody was sitting at my table, but as I touched my seat and blinked, everyone zapped into existence. I was so freaked out I walked to the bathroom and cried.
My head space has also been strange. I've been talking with a girl for a while now, trying to figure her out and all. Everytime I saw her, I saw a library. It's hard to describe.
And sometimes life looks like this until I "snap" out of it.
Like I'm staring into a room with too much light and tunnel vision.
_____
I don't know. It almost seems borderline psychotic.
I blame anxiety. I'm as sharp as ever (except for Math, god I'm terrible).
I have been drug free for almost two weeks. Even then, it's only opiates and a benzo or two (I'm scared of benzo addiction, so I hardly fuck withem)
____
Can you guys give me inspiration to do something? Past times, anecdotes?
Is life after 18 as scary as they say?
I need a good, strong, non devastating dose of reality. Not any of the fake ass hormonal shit that goes on in my teenage life.
Also paranoia! Oh my god the paranoia. And the mood swings.
_____
I apologize if this post seems clumsy. Perhaps all I want is comfort from someone. I just feel so stupidly weird. Man it fucks you up.
Who else?
Laying in bed crying, don't know what to do with myself. I'm feeling super sick. Hella sick. Anxiety through the roof.
I was Skyping a friend yesterday. She consumed 17 800mg tablets of ibuprofen. She threw up 13 while we were talking.
I warned her not to exceed maximum doses of APAP or NSAIDS.
Though, it was still 3200 mg in one dose. She has an array of health problems...
_____
I feel so helpless, you know? Maybe it's just the lack of medication talking. I don't feel like I can really save anyone. Like everything I touch either doesn't change or grows legs and runs away.
Some weird things with my head have been going on. Like really weird.
I walked into the lunchroom at my HS. Nobody was sitting at my table, but as I touched my seat and blinked, everyone zapped into existence. I was so freaked out I walked to the bathroom and cried.
My head space has also been strange. I've been talking with a girl for a while now, trying to figure her out and all. Everytime I saw her, I saw a library. It's hard to describe.
And sometimes life looks like this until I "snap" out of it.
Like I'm staring into a room with too much light and tunnel vision.
_____
I don't know. It almost seems borderline psychotic.
I blame anxiety. I'm as sharp as ever (except for Math, god I'm terrible).
I have been drug free for almost two weeks. Even then, it's only opiates and a benzo or two (I'm scared of benzo addiction, so I hardly fuck withem)
____
Can you guys give me inspiration to do something? Past times, anecdotes?
Is life after 18 as scary as they say?
I need a good, strong, non devastating dose of reality. Not any of the fake ass hormonal shit that goes on in my teenage life.
Also paranoia! Oh my god the paranoia. And the mood swings.
_____
I apologize if this post seems clumsy. Perhaps all I want is comfort from someone. I just feel so stupidly weird. Man it fucks you up.
Who else?
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