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Cleantime/Sobriety Countdown

I was sober for a week during the summer when I thought I was going to be drug tested
I had so many flashbacks that week//// I don't want to be clean
 
Today I have 117 days clean from everything.

I was clean from '93 to '98
relapsed from '98 to '03
got clean again from '03 to '08
relapsed again until August 21st (22nd? don't feel like doing the math)

I found it to be real fuckin' tough staying clean this time around. Obsession, emotions, insomnia, laziness, RAGE and the mourning process of realizing I can't use anything anymore.

Its gotten easier but it seems more like a lifetime than 117 days.
 
The last time I used was on January 20th, 2009 when I shot a bunch of coke & dope, drank a bunch of beer, and then a couple of bottles of wine. The 10 days in the locked dual diagnosis detox wing was not pleasant. Fuckers.

I drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and am on rx'd Subutex so I am not totally clean.

As far as the future goes I am not planning on drinking, using dope or cocaine ever again. Pot doesn't really do much more me anymore and my days of MDMA are over. I may take LSD again perhaps, I don't really know at this point.

Maybe so, maybe not....
 
OverDone said:
Today I have 117 days clean from everything.

I was clean from '93 to '98
relapsed from '98 to '03
got clean again from '03 to '08
relapsed again until August 21st (22nd? don't feel like doing the math)

I found it to be real fuckin' tough staying clean this time around. Obsession, emotions, insomnia, laziness, RAGE and the mourning process of realizing I can't use anything anymore.

Its gotten easier but it seems more like a lifetime than 117 days.
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What's up pimp? I remember you essentially crying out for help last year when I was. Both due to cocaine.... Glad to see you're back on a clean streak. Make that streak a fucking lifetime bro! You seem like a fucker worth saving ;)
 
This thread gives me some hope :)

I have been off meth for 3.5 weeks now. Before that I got back on for 2 months but before that I had 4 months off. I am so happy that I have been having these long periods off it. Hopefully this one is permanent :)
 
Day #7 .... hmmm - - I may try to go all the way until after New Years or maybe one last night with the crack pipe before I sent the year. Being sober is great - feel good and even gaining a little weight too!
 
congrads to all you sober ones ive bin off dope since nov 1 i still dont feel to good but feel much better then i did last month i still smoke pot tho good luck to all of you trying to quit it can be done you just gotta try
 
save cigarettes, caffeine, the very occasional beer, and thc, i have been sober from my addiction to opiate type pills since mid-august. i have been on suboxone since april 10 but had a handful of relapses.

although id like to be sober from it ALL, the only drug that ever got a "hold" of me was opiates. alcohol, weed - for me moderation was easy. cigarettes though, ive been smoking for 8 years and God help me - i dont want to smoke anymore :(


bigchris - isn't that something - any time i lay off the cigarettes i swear i feel PHENOMENAL. why does it take so long to realize you feel better without the thing you think makes you feel great? congrats anyway on 46 days. that's good stuff
 
Have not touched a single drop of alcohol since 9/16/94.


Still smoke weed, and use opiates though.
 
Checked into detox Jan. 09 for benzos/opiates/speed.

I have 11 months clean from benzo's [minus 1 or 2 klonopin I have taken] & speed. That is a major record. I have also been clean from heroin for close to 5 years, wow! Alcohol I have had maybe 5-8 drinks in the last year, good riddance.

Still on bupe [1mg nasal] I am kinda at a quiting point as I would like to be completely off when I start school but that is in like 20 days, so I dont know. I am kinda pissed at myself for waiting till the last minute to stop but thats the story of my life.

Even though bupe seems to be making me depressed and fucks with my eating [not eating enough] I still am taking it. I KNOW I will be much happier with out it. This last year was fucking rough to say the least and I am pretty happy with what I accomplished. Yet I won't be completely happy untill the bupe is gone. Altogether this year has been 1000 times better than past years.

Maybe I keep it around so I am not completely miserable with out anything. This way I can blame it on bupe, hahaha.

Oh yeah I still smoke that funky, skunky, smelly green shit :)

Peace,
Seedless
 
Lots of great success stories in here!!
I think you all would be able to add some great encouragment and advice in our monthly sobriety thread (Octsober/NOvember/Lesscember etc.)
Everyone keep up the good work and please continue to share these stories!!!

As for me- I have been "sober" (I consider myself sober, even though I have smoked pot once or twice-which was not a good experience- and have taken opiates past the point of covering my pain for which i was prescribed-) - BUT I have not touched coke since 2001, tripped since 2000 and I quit smoking pot in 2005 (I think?)- actually Jan 1st :)
 
bagochina said:
Checked into detox Jan. 09 for benzos/opiates/speed.

I have 11 months clean from benzo's [minus 1 or 2 klonopin I have taken] & speed. That is a major record. I have also been clean from heroin for close to 5 years, wow! Alcohol I have had maybe 5-8 drinks in the last year, good riddance.

Still on bupe [1mg nasal] I am kinda at a quiting point as I would like to be completely off when I start school but that is in like 20 days, so I dont know. I am kinda pissed at myself for waiting till the last minute to stop but thats the story of my life.

Even though bupe seems to be making me depressed and fucks with my eating [not eating enough] I still am taking it. I KNOW I will be much happier with out it. This last year was fucking rough to say the least and I am pretty happy with what I accomplished. Yet I won't be completely happy untill the bupe is gone. Altogether this year has been 1000 times better than past years.

Maybe I keep it around so I am not completely miserable with out anything. This way I can blame it on bupe, hahaha.

Oh yeah I still smoke that funky, skunky, smelly green shit :)

Peace,
Seedless
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i keep wanting to PM you so badly, because everything you talk about and say i relate and i have things id like to ask you and stuff (i read your blog idk how i came across it maybe a reference to it in a post) and it just brings to the surface so many emotions and relations, especialyl the way you write, it just does it for me aha.
And what you just said abotu Bupe, even down to the waiting till the last minute before quitting it, and school in 20 days- SAME HERE.

sorry this is a little outa place and long, but idk when i'll be able to PM!
 
I've been off opiates and weed for slightly less than 3 weeks. I am quitting coffee as of yesterday and going through caffeine withdrawals lol just cause I'm nuts and on a health kick right now I guess.
 
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Since I started using heroin daily in August 2008 I've had at most 1 week of clean time with the help of suboxone. Any other clean time from 2-5 days would be because I couldnt score or didnt have any money to score.
 
bagochina said:
Checked into detox Jan. 09 for benzos/opiates/speed.

I have 11 months clean from benzo's [minus 1 or 2 klonopin I have taken] & speed. That is a major record. I have also been clean from heroin for close to 5 years, wow! Alcohol I have had maybe 5-8 drinks in the last year, good riddance.

Still on bupe [1mg nasal] I am kinda at a quiting point as I would like to be completely off when I start school but that is in like 20 days, so I dont know. I am kinda pissed at myself for waiting till the last minute to stop but thats the story of my life.

Even though bupe seems to be making me depressed and fucks with my eating [not eating enough] I still am taking it. I KNOW I will be much happier with out it. This last year was fucking rough to say the least and I am pretty happy with what I accomplished. Yet I won't be completely happy untill the bupe is gone. Altogether this year has been 1000 times better than past years.

Maybe I keep it around so I am not completely miserable with out anything. This way I can blame it on bupe, hahaha.

Oh yeah I still smoke that funky, skunky, smelly green shit :)

Peace,
Seedless
Click to expand...

Like seducedsoul posted, I have been reading your blog lately, and definitely I can relate to a lot of the shit you're going through, although you had a lot more serious problem than me. Your stories on there are crazy! You are such a good writer, though, and I just love how you express yourself. I've relapsed a few times since I first started trying to quit IV heroin/coke around a year ago. Just went through a relapse of heroin, crack, and meth these past few weeks, and I just got off suboxone last night (I wasn't using it for long--only for about a week after I got through the H). I've always followed some of your posts here on BL, although I stopped going on here for a few years when I started trying to quit drugs (before I decided to quit drugs about a year ago, I had not used prior to that year-long binge for a few years). You always seemed to have the most interesting knowledge of the drug scene, just in terms of your crazy stories, and it's very inspiring that you've been able to kick almost all of your addictions, considering how serious they were.

God speed to ya! Keep us posted how that suboxone detox goes. I know if you've kicked everything else in your life, you can kick that for sure.
 
Thanks Vladimir and seducedsoul for the comments its nice to know people are feeling similar to me.

I'll keep trying to keep my head screwed on straight.

Peace,
Seedless
 
Not sober. The longest I have been off drugs in the last 5 years is probably a week or two at most (although I probably smoked weed during those times). I wish I could write that the gaps are the result of my attempts to get clean, but really they are the result of my dealer being temporarily out of action. Hopefully it will be a different story this time next year.
 
Before this last relapse, I was sober for three months (outside of occasional alcohol which I do not have a problem with). If one counts alcohol, than I guess the last time I was COMPLETELY sober would be my sophomore year of college, where I probably went for approximately a year where I didn't drink or do anything that I can remember (maybe I slipped up a few times in this, so not a year straight). I graduated from college this past May. I am going to try to break 3 months and push on past that barrier into eternity now that I've gotten off of subs.
 
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