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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Cleantime/Sobriety Countdown

been clean since 1/5/2012 i dont think the thought that im clean has sinked in yet to be honest but it feels good!
 
That is fucking awesome totach! I love seeing your updates. I could always tell how tough you were even in your most difficult times and I knew you would come out on top.
 
Gave back over half a year , 3 days clean now for me :). I'm alright with it NOW , I do it for myself and while I am frustrated I slipped - I will take a one day slip any day that i COME back alive from then any longer term relapse where I do much more emotional damage to those I love.

Physically this relapse absolutely destroyed me , i will be out of the hospital for good later today.
 
I was just bored and looking at old threads ive posted in and was sad to see how artofwar was the last one to post i know he is in a better place now rip buddy
Im back at 20+ days again
 
My clean date is dec 27,2013. So about 14 months.

Didnt think i could do this. Ive been in long term treatment this whole time, therapeutic community shit.

I plan on staying clean from hard street drugs, stimulants, optiates, and pharms, however an entheogen/psychedelic occassionally seems like spiritual vitamins.
 
Thats great itsok keep up the amazing work!
I dont see nothing wrong with the occasional trip i know it has many benifets for people in recovery i really would like to do ibogaine again one day.
 
itsok said:
My clean date is dec 27,2013. So about 14 months.

Didnt think i could do this. Ive been in long term treatment this whole time, therapeutic community shit.

I plan on staying clean from hard street drugs, stimulants, optiates, and pharms, however an entheogen/psychedelic occassionally seems like spiritual vitamins.
Click to expand...

Congrats Man! After all this, is psychedelic really worth it?
I mean, right now I'm still struggling. After this, it's over for me. I fear craving while stoned.
Anyways, great achievement, keep up!
 
No days clean. Howeveout r,my drug absue (including booze) is at a level that is pretty much non-existence other than smoking weed and I'm not planning on quiting
 
I have one month, today.

It is very hard psychologically. Now, I am on sub...but I dont count that as using. I WILL get off of it in the next couple years (i think).
 
woamotive, congratulations! Lots of pertinent stickies over in Sober Living for PAWS. Knowledge is power.;) I'm really happy for you.<3
 
Right this moment I'm not clean, but this is a fairly rare occurrence. I use only maybe once a month at most. Longest time clean since I first started using was, idk, I think 6 months when I first went off to my ill fated stint in college, and during that time I was straight up clean-clean, using nothing...and I was absolutely miserable, it was the lowest point of my life, probably even lower than when I was a homeless junkie. Although these days I'm also scripted suboxone and adderall and I drink occassionally, so I probably don't fit many people's definition of clean even most of the time.

However I'm not entirely sure of exact numbers. Maybe I'm crazy, but counting clean time like it's super important makes no sense to me. It's a meaningless number. My goal is to not have drugs control my life. I don't care if I was clean for 10 years, if I spent every day obsessing over drugs and being on the edge of a full blown relapse and needing to go to NA meetings 3 times a day to try to stave off my incessant ravenous desire to get high to me I would've still absolutely failed in my goal, drugs would still own me. However, if I never went a week without using and somehow in this hypothetical situation the drugs weren't screwing up my life or controlling me I'd be happy with it. The latter situation is highly, HIGHLY unlikely though...but not because using in and of itself would be the issue, but because a person doesn't go out of their way to use that often unless they have an issue. In fact, keeping track of clean time for me would actually seem counter-productive; it promotes an unhealthy all or nothing mentality that frames borderline inevitable slip ups as immense failures that erase all the work a person did up to that point.
 
I agree uber i do not have a all or nothing mentality one of my favorite songs is accidents can happen by sixx am aka nikki six band
I count atleast in the beggining because im always curious how long it takes me to start healing
Once i put some clean time together i will stop counting
Also i still smoke weed or drink once in a while but thank god that doesnt cause me any problems so i cant say im sober but im forsure clean of my doc heroin and off benzos
 
totach said:
I was just bored and looking at old threads ive posted in and was sad to see how artofwar was the last one to post i know he is in a better place now rip buddy
Im back at 20+ days again
Click to expand...

I know.:( He used to disappear for such long periods of time. Whenever he came back and posted I always thought of that phrase people use, "You really light up the room." He had such a great presence. Biggest heart, funny, no ego. His family must be going through really tough times.
 
You are right herbavore he was a very posotive person and his posts will be missed
A few bluelighters that posted on the first page have also sadly passed away
I dont know exactly how to word what i want to say cuz i suck at writing but i wanna say that this thread can show people how one relapse after some clean time can kill you
If any mods wanna reword what i wrote that would be great
Atleast for me its makes me wanna stay clean even more i think i also posted on the first or second page back in 09 when i had some clean time and here i am again in 15 trying again
I have 4 weeks today no opiates no benzos
 
woamotive said:
I have one month, today.

It is very hard psychologically. Now, I am on sub...but I dont count that as using. I WILL get off of it in the next couple years (i think).
Click to expand...

Please get off that sub shit asap or you will regret it later.. just my 2cents but i see subs as using or at the very least not sober.. sub withdraws are a mfer cause they last forever
 
After 20 plus years of daily hydrocodone use I have not taken any for 70 days. My wife has been very supportive. It's a daily struggle, but I think I will lick it for good. The worse part is to not listen to the demons.
G
 
That's amazing guidog 20 years is a long time
Hopefully the demons will go away with time
I myself have over 30 days and the demons are as strong as ever but I will not give in them
 
Anybody have some positive updates?
My clean date is 2/9/15 Benzo and opiate free ;)
 
I did my last shot of heroin 29 days ago today. Looking for the 1 month mark (which I haven't hit in almost 3 years). I'm still tapering suboxone so I'm not completely drug-free (I'm down to 1mg of bupe every 24 hours), but I think doing it this way is better than nothing.

I really want (need) it this time, so I'm optimistic, but goddamn does my brain feel fried (depression/anxiety/confusion/vertigo/fatigue/etc).

It's funny that this thread was unearthed. I almost started something similar to this the other day just to hear some recovery stories/see how everybody was doing, but then I saw this one.
 
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