unsettled
Bluelighter
Clean? depends on how you define clean, I'm scripted klonopin and ambien which I take as prescribed, I just tapered off a year long opiate habit a week ago but have used a couple crumbs of suboxone in the past week. I think my drug of choice was my ex girlfriend, I realize this more and more as my use of drugs decreases. I don't think I ever used drugs in such a self destructive manner until after my last break up. I'm realizing I never got over her properly and I probably need some kind of closure or just to meet someone new. Her memory is by far my biggest trigger to use drugs in a destructive way.
Opiates are my "drug" of choice, but I definitely obsess over anything that catches my attention, luckily music takes center stage in my life most of the time. I don't have any desire to be "clean" as in completely free of all chemicals, sometimes I just enjoy being a little "altered". I just want to live my dreams and be functional and moving forward, which I am doing but life rarely moves in a straight line, lots of unexpected turns and bumps along the way. I guess it would be pretty bland without the unexpected turns and bumps.
Opiates are my "drug" of choice, but I definitely obsess over anything that catches my attention, luckily music takes center stage in my life most of the time. I don't have any desire to be "clean" as in completely free of all chemicals, sometimes I just enjoy being a little "altered". I just want to live my dreams and be functional and moving forward, which I am doing but life rarely moves in a straight line, lots of unexpected turns and bumps along the way. I guess it would be pretty bland without the unexpected turns and bumps.
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