Hey Poppydog, I just read through your first post.. didn't have time for the rest. Sounds like you are in desperate need of some real excitement and adventure in your life. Our body and minds crave it- not just the idea of it, but on a physical level we need those exterior stimuli to provoke reactions within. It's why people love and hate roller coasters- it provokes extreme fear which is uncomfortable, but it is then followed by a rush of excitement and relief. It's why many people say to themself while on the ride "never again" and as soon as they get off "can't wait for the next".
Most enjoyable things involve tedious, tiring, boring, frightening, and even dangerous elements. For example, just running itself isn't really pleasurable, especially not when you are just starting out on a run usually. The enjoyable part for me, and many I talk to, is pushing past that voice inside saying "just quit its not worth it, it's too hard, too much work", as well as the health, by physical and mental, benefits it brings. Hiking is very similar- for the majority of the hike I'm saying "fuck i'm out of shape, I smoked way too much when I was younger, who wants to climb a hill/mountain just to climb it anyways?' But at the first stop where there is a good view that really shows how far I've come, a wave of satisfaction washes over me and inspires me to keep going.
Life is a rollercoaster, you have to chase after those moments that scare the shit out of you, you have to charge toward them like you have no other choice. And when you get through it, you'll have the pleasure of knowing you grew as a person and the excitement of overcomming a challenge. For most of us on this forum, the problem is that drugs became that excitement and we start chasing the high rather than the challenges that will force us to grow and better ourselves.
So much of it is perspective as well, at least for me. I used to hate nearly every aspect of life because I had such a terrible attitude and lack of appreciation or gratitude. The thought of "having" to work for the majority of my life was a huge burden. After recovering from an injury that I thought would have left me unable to do a lot of the kind work I do, I know find a much greater appreciation just for my ability to do things like work. It's not that it all changed, but now I tend to catch myself when I start complaining in my head, and remind myself that I could still be in jail/prison or disabled. I know that mindset won't make sense to everyone, but I think gratitude and mental awareness can go quite a long way.
Most enjoyable things involve tedious, tiring, boring, frightening, and even dangerous elements. For example, just running itself isn't really pleasurable, especially not when you are just starting out on a run usually. The enjoyable part for me, and many I talk to, is pushing past that voice inside saying "just quit its not worth it, it's too hard, too much work", as well as the health, by physical and mental, benefits it brings. Hiking is very similar- for the majority of the hike I'm saying "fuck i'm out of shape, I smoked way too much when I was younger, who wants to climb a hill/mountain just to climb it anyways?' But at the first stop where there is a good view that really shows how far I've come, a wave of satisfaction washes over me and inspires me to keep going.
Life is a rollercoaster, you have to chase after those moments that scare the shit out of you, you have to charge toward them like you have no other choice. And when you get through it, you'll have the pleasure of knowing you grew as a person and the excitement of overcomming a challenge. For most of us on this forum, the problem is that drugs became that excitement and we start chasing the high rather than the challenges that will force us to grow and better ourselves.
So much of it is perspective as well, at least for me. I used to hate nearly every aspect of life because I had such a terrible attitude and lack of appreciation or gratitude. The thought of "having" to work for the majority of my life was a huge burden. After recovering from an injury that I thought would have left me unable to do a lot of the kind work I do, I know find a much greater appreciation just for my ability to do things like work. It's not that it all changed, but now I tend to catch myself when I start complaining in my head, and remind myself that I could still be in jail/prison or disabled. I know that mindset won't make sense to everyone, but I think gratitude and mental awareness can go quite a long way.
