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Clean after 20 plus years of banging brown

Seattle User

Seattle User

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 27, 2018
Messages
31
Location
Seattle Wa /
Hello all, I'm now five days off of brown tar. Been a user of around 1.5 a day for 20 years. Now how the hell do i stay clean? It's a simple answer but not as simple to do .

I'm in Seattle and could use a pen pal e-mail sponsor of the sort.

I'm a career record producer and so the environment is a challenge as well as the unlimited funds and access. and the damn price is so cheep. at 40 a gram it's been so easy to stay high. been banging all this time. Sometimes i feel as though just pulling up water into a point gives me relief, Just that ritual and process in itself that has a component of the addictive cycle.,





I have tons of Suboxone strips 8-4 but i don't want to be addicted to those either. however, i am taking one a day as a safety net of sorts. I've told my dealer not sell me or run my credit up any longer. she is cool with that but i know if i show with cash she will sell as I've done that in the past. it's a horrible thing to say but i almost wish she or her supplier would get busted.

anyways I'm checking in to say I'm here and clean for the moment and want to find folks to engage in talk around the subject of staying clean.

J.T.
 
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Congratulations on your clean time. Any amount of time is impressive and I wish you the best continuing your sobriety, whatever that means to you.

Unfortunately I can't really be of assistance with the whole sponsor thing, since I dropped out of NA a while ago, and now I'm in thick with drugs again. I'm way too young and I'm not ready to be clean and I don't ever think clean for me will be abstinence from marijuana, alcohol, and psychedelics. Having taken a good half a year break I've gotten some well needed willpower and things are going pretty well for me at the moment.

But there are a lot of people here who are dedicated to sobriety who can definitely help you out. Check out Recovery Support boards.

Good luck with everything you do. Staying clean isn't easy. I think everyone here knows that.
 
Hello,

I am on methadone, and it makes me able to live a fulfilling life. I am addicted to the methadone though, but it's way better than before, when I had to hit the streets.

:)

Best wishes,
-Erl
 
Seattle User said:
No no NA
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Yeah, NA seemed more like a cult than a recovery group when I went, but it was court sanctioned so what you gonna do? you meet more plugs at an NA meeting than a dive bar though lmao, half the people there are there because they have to be and 100% of those people have no interest in actually quitting
 
Be careful of that Methadone man, That shit about killed me a few years ago. Yes, I was abusing it and taking handfuls to get High when we had a dry spell once. But if it's carefully controlled then doses should be safe. You know the history of that compound ? its a dark one.
 
Seattle User said:
Be careful of that Methadone man, That shit about killed me a few years ago. Yes, I was abusing it and taking handfuls to get High when we had a dry spell once. But if it's carefully controlled then doses should be safe. You know the history of that compound ? its a dark one.
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I’m currently attending MMT. I’d be interested to read any info you have on the compound’s history.
 
LadyBug143 said:
I’m currently attending MMT. I’d be interested to read any info you have on the compound’s history.
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History

The chemical structure of methadone was first produced in the 1930's as a team of German scientists was searching for a pain-killing drug (analgesic) that would not be as addictive as morphine. In 1937, two scientists (Max Bockmhl and Gustav Ehrhart) uncovered a synthetic substance that they called Hoechst 10820 or polamidon. Years later during World War II another team of German scientists expanded on earlier research and began synthesizing the substance as a result of short supplies of morphine and other analgesics.8 By the end of the war, the United States had obtained the rights to the drug from war requisitions and later coined the name methadone.9Soon after in 1947 methadone was introduced into the United States to be used as a pain reliever for a variety of conditions, but eventually uncovered its usefulness in treating narcotic addictions.10Until the 1960's, little scientific advancement was made with regard to methadone. But with a resurgence of heroin addiction, researchers began to search for a substance that could reduce or eliminate drug craving and withdrawal signs and symptoms.11 The idea behind this research was that methadone could be used to manage or maintain heroin addiction. In 1964, the effectiveness and usefulness of using methadone maintenance (i.e., using it as a substitute narcotic to prevent withdrawal) was realized. In the spring of 1971, methadone treatment for opiate dependence began to expand. That year the Federal Government developed regulations governing the use of methadone in the treatment of heroin addiction; final regulations were published in December 1972. Few advancements were made until 2001 when regulations over methadone were modified to allow physicians and other health care professionals to provide methadone more effectively and consistently.12
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Methods of Use

Methadone is dispensed primarily in oral forms, including tablets, powder, and liquid for the treatment of narcotics addiction. Single doses, which should not exceed 80 - 100 milligrams daily, can last anywhere from 24 to 36 hours depending on user characteristics (e.g., age, weight, level of addiction, and tolerance); the long-acting nature of the drug is a distinct advantage since it requires less frequent administration, limiting potential harmful effects.13 Tablet forms of the drug, sometimes called diskettes, contain approximately 40 milligrams of methadone and are often dissolved in water and ingested orally. There is also a white crystalline powder form available that is dissolved in water and swallowed. Finally, liquid is sometimes used in treatment clinics; with this method dosages of methadone can be tightly controlled and adjusted to as small as one milligram, this allows patients to receive just the right amount of methadone needed to curb their withdrawal symptoms.14Illicit methadone is sometimes administered through injection (injection is not a valid route of administration in treatment) directly into the bloodstream. This form subjects users to increased risks of a variety of diseases, including HIV/AIDS.

Physical Effects

Though methadone is primarily used for treating narcotics addiction, users can still experience negative physical effects. Careful monitoring and a close relationship between a doctor and the patient are essential to its proper use.15Reinforcing effects of methadone are limited, as the drug is designed to block the pleasurable effects of opiates, but only when administered in the correct dosage(s). Some of the physical and side effects of methadone are:
Short-term:
  • Restlessness
  • Vomiting
  • Nausea
  • Slowed breathing
  • Itchy skin
  • Pupil contraction
  • Severe sweating
  • Constipation
  • Sexual Dysfunction
  • Death
Long-term:
  • Lung and respiration problems
Effects on women:
  • Menstrual cycle changes or lapse in cycles
  • Pregnancy complications if users reduce dosage levels during pregnancy
 
Well guys, I'm back to using again, I have a definable amount of self loathing in not staying clean. But being totally honest with myself i knew in the back of my head it was not for ever as i figure Opioids will always have a spot in my bio chemistry at times off and on in my life. Im 53 now and starting to notice the age catching up for sure. Ill use for a couple of weeks here and d then step down go through a night shakes and then take a couple Suboxone strips and be fine again. I think its about time for a Trip to blow out the pipes and get a clarity check. this may indeed trigger a disdain for the needles and smack to where i just won't consider it.
 
Seattle User said:
Well guys, I'm back to using again, I have a definable amount of self loathing in not staying clean. But being totally honest with myself i knew in the back of my head it was not for ever as i figure Opioids will always have a spot in my bio chemistry at times off and on in my life. Im 53 now and starting to notice the age catching up for sure. Ill use for a couple of weeks here and d then step down go through a night shakes and then take a couple Suboxone strips and be fine again. I think its about time for a Trip to blow out the pipes and get a clarity check. this may indeed trigger a disdain for the needles and smack to where i just won't consider it.
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You have a heavy dependence to heroin, you should consider ibogaine treatment.
 
what is that. I don't mind the girl, its just after sticking one self so many times it gets old and sorer . if their was a t valve of sort that a drip could be plugged into, Then i would probably have not to many issues with using. I know i don't want to trade one addiction for another. i just assume stay on then.
 
Seattle User said:
what is that. I don't mind the girl, its just after sticking one self so many times it gets old and sorer . if their was a t valve of sort that a drip could be plugged into, Then i would probably have not to many issues with using. I know i don't want to trade one addiction for another. i just assume stay on then.
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So were you clean the whole year there? Im just getting of the stuff myself
 
Seattle huh? I sure give u props for being sober out there. I lived there around 2014ish and I couldn't stay sober. There was just way to much shit to get into, and dating a chick from the Indian reservation didn't help things much either. Had a great time until I woke up in elpaso Texas on a greyhound heading back home. Wondering if that was all a dream.
I am working on 4 years myself now, feel alot different then when I had first started this thing.
 
Branggen said:
So were you clean the whole year there? Im just getting of the stuff myself
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how u dealing with the anhedonia bro? I feel so bored at day 15. Still having bad insomnia and have dope using dreams, It's bearable thou.
 
nznity said:
how u dealing with the anhedonia bro? I feel so bored at day 15. Still having bad insomnia and have dope using dreams, It's bearable thou.
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I dunno Im experiencing pleasure, I dont have any motivation in the mornings but I just force myself to do shit because it would be unbearable if I didn't. I do a lot of exercise and trying to learn new things, like doing things left handed or trying to play music, anything really. I just woke up at 1:30AM feeling pretty shitty but I feel like I could take a month more of this before I start wondering if Ill ever feel more normal, I dont expect to feel like my old self for years and im okay with that so Im not to worried about speedy progress. Id imagine its probably worse cold turkeying though, my brain has been adjusting to a very mild withdrawal for pretty much my whole year long taper, also only been a week clean for me so it might get worse
 
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