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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

Citalopram - First time - Absolutely amazed

most SSRIs (Celexa/Lexapro & Prozac in particular) felt like a "1st plateau" DXM trip to me (but I had tried DXM before being prescribed them) for a few weeks until the initial 'feeling' wore off. Did any other disassociative users notice that?
 
I found citalopram excellent in the short term for depression, but in the long term my depression became worse and more insidious. Once the depression starts to appear again it feels more nebulous and you're less able to pinpoint what is getting you down. I think SSRIs are detrimental long-term, at least for me they were. You eventually need to stop taking them, "thaw out" from that weird emotional numbing, and start taking stock of your full emotional range again.
 
Citalopram took my soul

This is an older thread but I am interested in hearing from those who have felt that citalopram has caused apathy - e.g. blunting of emotions or even basically eradicating them altogether. My Mom has some various issues that have developed over the past year and a half and she has been opposed to taking any of these types of medications but was finally convinced to take a very low dose of citalopram which was started about six months ago. While there was a small amount of initial apparent benefit, that quickly disappeared. Also, I was just with her for a week and while all of the other problems remain, the thing that struck me most that I had not seen previously was her complete lack of emotion. It was quite shocking to me just how void of emotion she was. As I have been mulling that over, I decided to do a search about this possibility and was interested to find this thread. She is taking such a low dose that I wonder if it could have that much negative effect, but I also have to wonder if there is a correlation. I would be very interested to hear any current feedback from others on this issue as I am considering asking Mom's nurse practitioner to take her off the citalopram, but because Mom is so resistant to medication, I know that if she is taken off that she will never go back on that or probably anything else. It's a huge dilemma, but I honestly don't think it's helping her and I'm beginning to think it's hurting her. Any feedback with your thoughts and experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
I searched Google for "Citalopram took my soul" because my wife has been on it for 8 years now. Her ability to care about her behaciour ending our 32-year marriage has gone to indifference. She is able to joke/tease me about her recent affair without apology. I feel the drug has taken her soul. We used to attend the GP together but she controls the GP alone citing my behavior as the cause for her leaving for a week. She it for Borderline PD (the depression component) but used to laugh & cry with some normality. Now she appears spiritually dead and prefers books and games like Jelly beans. She will not attend church with me anymore and appears to fear all except those who support her unconditionally. Trouble is, that she can have emotional outbursts (within a small time window each month) and the consequences of those actions her "friends" have encouraged can become real for long enough to cause suicidal ideation. Citaopram can take away the emotions that guide our morals so it can take soul from loving, because it is good to love, to not caring about anyone except themselves. Not caring about a grandchild or child or husband, or true friends. Not caring about lying, adultery etc. Feel free to do those things if you will, but at least feel the significance of them.
 
.....She appears spiritually dead Citaopram can take away the emotions that guide our morals so it can take soul from loving, because it is good to love, to not caring about anyone except themselves..

This.... Is my experience. I just want to numb my feelings . But at what cost? Ur only supposed to be on Ssri for a few weeks I believe to stimulate those receptors ... And who knows what bullshit big pharma is designing to keep the masses calm and locked into a false emotional security.... Ugh
 
The other day I was wondering what moron started this thread. I guess that was me.

I remember that day very well though. I later received a bipolar disorder I diagnosis. Mania is commonly triggered by SSRI's in bipolar people. I actually started abusing citalopram in 1-3mg doses along with amphetamine to keep me in a constant state of hypomania. After 18 months, all hell broke lose.
 
Biggest desaster of my life. 18 months of hypomania turned into 6 months (!!) of full-blown mania. Took 4 mostly stim-free years to recover.
 
Ya, I thought this was some kinda benzo cuz it ended with pam when I first saw it...My mom takes it, she use to drink but doesn't that much anymore(not like all day everyday, but the bottle would open at 5-6 till 10 at bedtime, that was my dads schedule also. But anyway, since someone said it is magical with alchohol that must be why it put her in such a damn good mood, seemed like more of a good mood than just alchohol alone...I could be wrong though.
 
Wow, glad to know how it turned out because you made it sound pretty great at first.
Well, mania is indeed pretty fucking great until it fades and you begin to pick up the pieces. Nothing else allows me to utilize my cognitive potential to such degree, definitely not stimulants with which I have plenty of experience. I would say that I gathered more text book knowledge on coding, natural sciences and medicine than I gathered knowledge throughout my entire school career. But the costs, oh the costs. :/
 
Hey, thanks for the long term info, I am in the exact spot as you were all those years ago, 20mg of escitalopram and the first few days I had the exact same experience, dilated pupils semi-rolling feeling, constant yawning, but after a week it just makes me feel OK, like a normal person. I am also using speed semi regularly which I know is a bad thing but I'll do it for a few days take a week off and so on, it feels so good though. I've got to knock it on the head though, especially after your great information, thanks a lot it's much appreciated.
 
I was using (!) amphetamine on a daily when I got started on racemic xr citalopram. I eventually started abusing the SSRI by using microdoses of 1-3mg to keep me in a cpnstant extremely productive state of hypomania.
 
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