I was already almost ready to totally give up. In the last year I became bedridden, then I got sort of turned down for a surgery I really need for cci, my pain has gotten worse than ever, with almost zero treatment., neck and all symptoms have deteriorated so much since having covid.
But I was still trying to a considerable extent, I still had hope of getting better. However in the past few weeks there are some things that have suddenly pushed me to the point of snapping.
One of the medications I rely on the most, ketamine , has started to cause side effects that may mean I need to totally discontinue it. Its started t cause bladder pain and other bladder problems. Ketamine is the single thing that gives me an improvement in, quality of life via helping my sound sensitivity, mood , sleep and pain. And I'm on a relatively tiny dose compared to people abusing it at doses that would usually cause issues. It just seems like. I have really really terrible luck. Like its unlikely the average person would get bladd3rprobelms from ketamine at this small of a dose but I get this kind of luck. It's like my body is too frail to tolerate medications that are supposed to help. Likd maybe bc I have mcas or tethered cord or weak pelvic floor muscles , I cant tolerate something that wouldn't irritate most people's bladder.
This seems like a tiny thing but if I lose this med theres probably nothing to replace it. No more sessions listening to music, just going back to crushing despair and the regular severe ME bedridden life where the brain fog air hunger and pain are so bad u cant even read or listen or watch much stuff bc to distract you.
Idk if this is the right place to post but I need help so bad