It's been challenging as hell these past few weeks battling this goddamned chronic fatigue! It seems that no matter how much or how little sleep I get, I'm always tired. Wendy mentioned it might be the Hep C and hell I completely forgot about that. I was diagnosed with it back in 1999 and never really had any symptoms of it until now, assuming that it's the Hep that's causing this blasted fatigue. I'm still sticking to Weight Watchers and just today I started to notice an extra 1 1/2" room in my pants and starting to feel less heavy walking around. For that matter the fatigue itself seemed to perhaps lighten up a little bit maybe 5 hours ago. I've been doing my prayers every day and did some meditation tonight too for about 45 minutes. I have an appointment to see the doc in a couple weeks about the fatigue.
I got alot of things done today, mostly phone calls, setting up appointments, and arranging to pick up receipts for the attorney services rendered 2 years ago. I'm still paying Mom for the lawyer, but the credit card bill comes in her name every month and I'm getting a receipt from the lawyer saying that his services were rendered to me so I'll have something with my name on it to show the student loan people for the hearing. I'm getting all my ducks lined up in a row and I'll be lining up my final papers tomorrow. After that, I'll send the last of the copied bills of mine to the student loan people, type up another letter explaining here is final proof of my income and my bills so they don't garnish my wages by 15%.
It felt good to have Wednesday and Thursday afternoon off and I have to be taking off for work tonight in 15 minutes. This has been hell the last few weeks. I feel like perhaps the chronic fatigue may be starting to let up, fingers crossed! Also, this constant struggle with the defects of laziness and procrastination which are in part tied into the chronic fatigue, but thank God the change of diet and prayers seem to be working. Not much else going on. I talked to my sponsor today and the day before that, as well as Cheryl and Wendy, 2 of my NA friends. Tuesday my patient's dad made a comment about my car leaking oil on his driveway, and while I apologized and parked my car on the street once there was a place to park it, I never could understand why people get so fucking uptight over a little oil on their driveways or garages. I mean for fuxake it's a bloody garage or driveway not the interior design of the house.
I dunno, shit like that is not worth getting upset about and that's one less thing I'll have to worry about living on my own again one day. It bothers Mom too, but she doesn't say anything these days because I've been busting my ass off trying to get my shit together for the last couple years and still doing so. I'm glad I'm starting to feel a little less embarrased about all this damn weight I put on after I got clean, mainly because I see it coming off again. I was never fat when I was using and people that for whatever reason I haven't seen in a couple or 3 years all of a sudden see me now....fuck. I feel like they are wondering what the fuck did that homegirl go and turn into such a PIG for? So, I came up with the excuse that I quit smoking 2 years ago to explain the extra weight because it disgusts me. Actually though it's not so much of an embarrassment since I've been doing something about it and starting to feel results again. For that I am glad.
I got alot of things done today, mostly phone calls, setting up appointments, and arranging to pick up receipts for the attorney services rendered 2 years ago. I'm still paying Mom for the lawyer, but the credit card bill comes in her name every month and I'm getting a receipt from the lawyer saying that his services were rendered to me so I'll have something with my name on it to show the student loan people for the hearing. I'm getting all my ducks lined up in a row and I'll be lining up my final papers tomorrow. After that, I'll send the last of the copied bills of mine to the student loan people, type up another letter explaining here is final proof of my income and my bills so they don't garnish my wages by 15%.
It felt good to have Wednesday and Thursday afternoon off and I have to be taking off for work tonight in 15 minutes. This has been hell the last few weeks. I feel like perhaps the chronic fatigue may be starting to let up, fingers crossed! Also, this constant struggle with the defects of laziness and procrastination which are in part tied into the chronic fatigue, but thank God the change of diet and prayers seem to be working. Not much else going on. I talked to my sponsor today and the day before that, as well as Cheryl and Wendy, 2 of my NA friends. Tuesday my patient's dad made a comment about my car leaking oil on his driveway, and while I apologized and parked my car on the street once there was a place to park it, I never could understand why people get so fucking uptight over a little oil on their driveways or garages. I mean for fuxake it's a bloody garage or driveway not the interior design of the house.
I dunno, shit like that is not worth getting upset about and that's one less thing I'll have to worry about living on my own again one day. It bothers Mom too, but she doesn't say anything these days because I've been busting my ass off trying to get my shit together for the last couple years and still doing so. I'm glad I'm starting to feel a little less embarrased about all this damn weight I put on after I got clean, mainly because I see it coming off again. I was never fat when I was using and people that for whatever reason I haven't seen in a couple or 3 years all of a sudden see me now....fuck. I feel like they are wondering what the fuck did that homegirl go and turn into such a PIG for? So, I came up with the excuse that I quit smoking 2 years ago to explain the extra weight because it disgusts me. Actually though it's not so much of an embarrassment since I've been doing something about it and starting to feel results again. For that I am glad.