epicjobguy
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2018
- Messages
- 1
Hi
30 yo male, no previous mental health issues. Not taken any drugs before
About 3 years ago, I had a change in porn habits. Usually I watch it for 10 mins of Vanilla porn whilst masterbating. Then I became less interesting in orgasming and more interested in just watching. I would watch and edge for literally 4-6 hours. And I developed fetishes I never had before. And whilst watching had very eutrophic feelings which I?ve never had before. I also became very panicky, little things felt like major disasters in the heat of the moment. Also, I would worry about something, which at the time felt like big issues and it would be in the front of my mind and annoy me all day. And then I would move onto another worry, and then looking back at the previous worry, I was like why was I worried about that? It?s not even an issue. How can My thinking change like that? These worries usually centre around my insecurities and existential angst. Other issues were cold hands, acne, and hemmeroids.
The porn addiction was so bad that I would get hard ons and get wet just thinking about certain images and there was just no way to stop. I could spend my entire weekend just watching.
A weird thing I noticed, so this one worry was driving me crazy all week. These worries don?t really have solutions just I keep feeling like something is wrong. and I remember binging on porn for 4 hours of edging. And after ejaculating, the worries were no longer problems. Like, I thought to myself, why were you even thinking about this stuff before. It?s a non issue, but I only realise that after ejaculating. What is that? It only happens after epic edging sessions though. Normal porn use doesn?t produce thes same effect.
Ok, so only after reading this forum a year ago, someone mentioned choline and Hypersexuality. So I stopped taking fish oil, no eggs and reduced my protein intake from 180g to 60-90g. I am into weightlifting so I follow my diet macros. After around a week, no more crazy sex drive, no fetishes, no more cold hands, intense panic gone. Without any effort the addiction was gone. I also realised that these symptoms all started when I began to take weightlifting more seriously and upped my protein and omega 3 intake. I thought I was sorted. I still had worry issues though. I would still make mountains out of molehills and only a week later realise I was worrying about nothing.
And then, a few months later, I fell into a deep depression. Totally adhonic, like what?s the point in doing anything. Hardly sleeping. Couldn?t be bothered to go to the gym, my most favourite past time. Low sex drive. Worries that just never go away. This has happened 3 times over a year since stopping porn edging. When I?m a depressive state, I end up edging and that seems to pull me out of the depression?? I also noticed that after edging, my heart rate during cardio is a whole 30 bps lower than usual for a week or so and then over the weeks the heart rate during cardio goes up. Any link there?
Also during my first depressive episode, I took tyrosine a week before I came out of it. And I remember the day when I felt better. I felt really good, gym session was great, music was great. And I cried in the shower out of relief because I felt like the old me. Felt like a real bounce in terms on mood. Which I?ve never felt before. Again any links there? And was in a great mood for a few months after that. Made a lot of positive changes. until the next depressive episodes.
Anyways, anyone know what?s wrong with me and how to fix it? I have a feeling that although the addiction is over, the excessive edging has left me with some issues. I?m not a no fap guy or anything btw. But I hear a lot of dopamine related issues, but I?m not well bereaved in this area. Currently in a depressed state for the past 6 weeks. Also I want to fix because I don?t want to be in the same position in 3 months time.
I am so utterly sick and tired of this, I want my old brain back.
Sincerely thank you for responses
30 yo male, no previous mental health issues. Not taken any drugs before
About 3 years ago, I had a change in porn habits. Usually I watch it for 10 mins of Vanilla porn whilst masterbating. Then I became less interesting in orgasming and more interested in just watching. I would watch and edge for literally 4-6 hours. And I developed fetishes I never had before. And whilst watching had very eutrophic feelings which I?ve never had before. I also became very panicky, little things felt like major disasters in the heat of the moment. Also, I would worry about something, which at the time felt like big issues and it would be in the front of my mind and annoy me all day. And then I would move onto another worry, and then looking back at the previous worry, I was like why was I worried about that? It?s not even an issue. How can My thinking change like that? These worries usually centre around my insecurities and existential angst. Other issues were cold hands, acne, and hemmeroids.
The porn addiction was so bad that I would get hard ons and get wet just thinking about certain images and there was just no way to stop. I could spend my entire weekend just watching.
A weird thing I noticed, so this one worry was driving me crazy all week. These worries don?t really have solutions just I keep feeling like something is wrong. and I remember binging on porn for 4 hours of edging. And after ejaculating, the worries were no longer problems. Like, I thought to myself, why were you even thinking about this stuff before. It?s a non issue, but I only realise that after ejaculating. What is that? It only happens after epic edging sessions though. Normal porn use doesn?t produce thes same effect.
Ok, so only after reading this forum a year ago, someone mentioned choline and Hypersexuality. So I stopped taking fish oil, no eggs and reduced my protein intake from 180g to 60-90g. I am into weightlifting so I follow my diet macros. After around a week, no more crazy sex drive, no fetishes, no more cold hands, intense panic gone. Without any effort the addiction was gone. I also realised that these symptoms all started when I began to take weightlifting more seriously and upped my protein and omega 3 intake. I thought I was sorted. I still had worry issues though. I would still make mountains out of molehills and only a week later realise I was worrying about nothing.
And then, a few months later, I fell into a deep depression. Totally adhonic, like what?s the point in doing anything. Hardly sleeping. Couldn?t be bothered to go to the gym, my most favourite past time. Low sex drive. Worries that just never go away. This has happened 3 times over a year since stopping porn edging. When I?m a depressive state, I end up edging and that seems to pull me out of the depression?? I also noticed that after edging, my heart rate during cardio is a whole 30 bps lower than usual for a week or so and then over the weeks the heart rate during cardio goes up. Any link there?
Also during my first depressive episode, I took tyrosine a week before I came out of it. And I remember the day when I felt better. I felt really good, gym session was great, music was great. And I cried in the shower out of relief because I felt like the old me. Felt like a real bounce in terms on mood. Which I?ve never felt before. Again any links there? And was in a great mood for a few months after that. Made a lot of positive changes. until the next depressive episodes.
Anyways, anyone know what?s wrong with me and how to fix it? I have a feeling that although the addiction is over, the excessive edging has left me with some issues. I?m not a no fap guy or anything btw. But I hear a lot of dopamine related issues, but I?m not well bereaved in this area. Currently in a depressed state for the past 6 weeks. Also I want to fix because I don?t want to be in the same position in 3 months time.
I am so utterly sick and tired of this, I want my old brain back.
Sincerely thank you for responses