fuck this shit...I was clean for pretty much 3 months, the longest time since I slipped about 2 1/2 yrs ago, and I figured it was time, i owed it to myself. So like I said in my last post, i picked up half a jab on Friday after work on went through it friday night to sunday morning. Good straight dope. Best batch my PC has had in a year, according to some other friends who use the same guy, and after doing one bag on Friday, i agreed. So I had a good, high, weekend, didn't get in trouble with the wife, nothing. Kept it under control.
Did my last bag on Sunday mid-day, then went out with the family. Felt ok till we got home around 6pm, when the sweats started to kick in. Then the numb restless feet, and my stomach and bowels started. So I waited a few hours and put up with it, until around 9pm when I took my first sub. Was fucking sick all day Monday, at work, the whole deal. More sub and some other meds, went home, went to sleep. Tuesday, today, was high anxiety all morning, nausea, the regular deal. More sub, and the last of my Kpins got it under control.
I've taken 12mg of sub today, a couple of kpins (none left, fml) and I only feel almost normal. I understand that this is nothing compared to some w/d I've been through, and thank god nobody said anything....but fuck it, man, it's just not worth it. This shit gets harder and worse everytime I use.
As for the deals the DR. was talking about up there, my guy is running a 15 in a jab (fuck that tipping shit, I agree with Chink), and on holidays or whatever, he's texted me a 5 packs for $400 deal. You do the math. That's like the numbers you're talking about up there. nothing close to 100 for 4 bills, that's super crazy. But these guys (the good ones, with good product and customers) are making bank, hand over fist. if they can run a deal like that, you know the daily profit is large.
anyway, sorry for my ramble..........Chinky - think about it bro. I never thought I'd be here after 2 1/2 yrs trying to stay straight and finding it so hard. well, now i've proven i can't even play around for a weekend without the consequences getting more severe. I'm on 4mg sub per day, and never had a problem getting high - the dope always broke through. I guess maybe now I hit the point where playing with the sub and the dope has just caught up with me.
fuck me, man. i'm gonna take another 4mg and try to get some sleep. Hopefully not the sweaty kind.
Over and out. I hope.