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Chicago Heroin v. Please refrain from offing yourself.

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that's not a good question to ask here buddy... it's a discussion but of course there are rules and guidelines....

to give you a general idea.. it's going to depend on the type of h (raw vs blows) .. but i'd say it really mostly depends on what area you're in and who you deal with..
 
after reading these posts i feel like my prediction that the ws would've been a crap shoot and lots of CPD over the weekend came true.. i guess the 60 people shot and dozen or more deaths didn't help either...
luckily my mistress from wisconsin came to visit me since and i convinced her before dinner to go to mi favoritos mexicanos because i wanted to buy some 'weed' lol .. although on sunday my PC in the far n burbs played the 'im right off the exit' trick on me ... yeah i thought he was going to meet me near 6 flags... my dude and i ended up being damn near the wisconsin border by the time he gave us all the turns.. and then waited another 10 mins in front of fucking walmart... at least the raw was decent but not worth the trouble..
now i can add one more to the lame excuses pc's have given me - this one was 'mannnnn im cashin a money order - they takin long'

God I am sooo bored at work... totally unmotivated.. it seems like the entire sales floor is complaining of the bullshit leads we got this month.. I've actually spent most the day looking at jobs abroad.. I use to travel so much and even did my bachelor's in international biz hoping I could travel and work abroad... Kinda hard to do atm being on methadone though - its like liquid handcuffs
 
^lol
My guys "im 10 mins. Away" is code for ~20-25 mins
Which of course is an eternity.
Its like the minutes are hours....

I hears there were a dozen stings this weekend and the blocks are hot as fuck. TSPL seems was fairly accurate as i was told not alot of workers out. Def less than usual...yeah that record murder rate is gonna keep shit tough.
Be safe out there
-EnVee
 
Hey guys,

I got 3 bags early this morning with the intent of taking it easy and possibly easing my way into a detox or maybe to just lower my tolerance a bit.

However this afternoon a perfect opportunity presented itself. I ultimately found myself hurrying along I80 to the spot. I'm so impulsive.

To conclude my story, I got a deal on 17 bags. I have like 13 or 14 left.

I'm kind of at that stage where everytime I'm getting high it's my last time. I want to go back to lifting and focus on a healthy routine like I had before I started back up.

How's everyone else getting along lately?

edit- I think I may also start actively looking around for an avatar
 
istern said:
Hey guys,

I got 3 bags early this morning with the intent of taking it easy and possibly easing my way into a detox or maybe to just lower my tolerance a bit.

However this afternoon a perfect opportunity presented itself. I ultimately found myself hurrying along I80 to the spot. I'm so impulsive.

To conclude my story, I got a deal on 17 bags. I have like 13 or 14 left.

I'm kind of at that stage where everytime I'm getting high it's my last time. I want to go back to lifting and focus on a healthy routine like I had before I started back up.

How's everyone else getting along lately?

edit- I think I may also start actively looking around for an avatar
Click to expand...

lifting/exersising helps PAWS sooo much. And be a cool kid like me and make your own avvy :)

FML my buddys ben in rehab these past 2 weeks so ive had to ride my bike everywhere to hustle up THEN go ride out to the hood to cop ONE bag ( while sick most the time ). takes me 2 hours to ride from my house to cop and then back ughh. Startin to get real sick off it. At least dude has some 10/10 shit right now so it could be worse. already startin to get sick gatta wait till 8-9am tommrow to cop.

I actually like being sick in the morning. the sickness fading away + endorphins from the bike ride + the dope rush all just hits at the same time in the PEERFECT way. only thing that could make it alittle better is a little cocine in there ha.
 
I feel you as far as the money situation. My source of cash is about dried up and it wasn't exactly a sustainable one. I know this run of mine will inevitably end and the time is growing near. I have zero will power though, and my attitude about the situation is all or nothing. I know the decisions I've been making recently will indeed come to bite me in the ass.

I also am in the same boat regarding transportation. I'm able to get it delivered, but it generally has to over 100 bucks. Sometimes as I'm sure you can relate, time is of the essence and I risk my ass "borrowing" whoever is foolish enough to leave their keys out while sleeping's car. I should mention my license is suspended and I'm on parole.

That's the nature of the beast though. We've all been there and a lot of us still are everyday. I look forward to the day when things simply get easier.
 
istern said:
I feel you as far as the money situation. My source of cash is about dried up and it wasn't exactly a sustainable one. I know this run of mine will inevitably end and the time is growing near. I have zero will power though, and my attitude about the situation is all or nothing. I know the decisions I've been making recently will indeed come to bite me in the ass.

I also am in the same boat regarding transportation. I'm able to get it delivered, but it generally has to over 100 bucks. Sometimes as I'm sure you can relate, time is of the essence and I risk my ass "borrowing" whoever is foolish enough to leave their keys out while sleeping's car. I should mention my license is suspended and I'm on parole.

That's the nature of the beast though. We've all been there and a lot of us still are everyday. I look forward to the day when things simply get easier.
Click to expand...

I feel like your writing my memoirs ! hahaha ! sooo similar in everyway ! besides the licenses and parole thing. Ben in the game for about 3 years ( 1 year of daily ) and have had ZERO run in withs the law. not even so much as a close call. I defintaly have one of my dead buddies watchin my back like a mother fucker !

I did my bag at 10am this morning so that means id start hurtin around 7-8am and really be feelin it by 10am (24hrs). But honastly my withdraws arnt bad what so ever anymore. like a 2/10 on the withdraw scale. its mostly all mental. but thats the part that gets me. if i make it to like 48 hours i just cant take it anymore and want to feel normal so bad that ill just steal something of my dads and pawn it. he notices right away and tthere are consequnces but atleast i get to get well ! (havent had to resort to that in like 2 months i get SOOO lucky everyday. like I litterly pull shit out of my ass everyday to stay well. somethin differnt almost everyday

annnyyywayyyy. tonight has ben great. its now 3am. around 10pm i get a call my main dudes back on with the coke/crack. hes ben gone for months and i just started doin yayo again everyday besides today this past week. the soft was trash and the hard was nothing to wright home about. but i know my guys go the killer ! annddd my buddy hits me up at 2am and has his sister pick him then me up cause he "ows a drug dealer money" so she gave us money and a ride and we got 3 bags and slpit it 50/50 when we get back to my house while she sits outside lol. shitty as fuck ut it wasnt my idea it was all him I was just the one with the dealer. so Ill be strigt all day so i can wake up bright n early and spend this money i got on some hard/soft. woo hoo ! and im supposed to middle man for him again tommrow when hell have his fat paycheck so ill make out realll nice on that.

night fellas sta safe !
 
Bro listen to me man. Stay away from the crack. Ive been doing dope since i was 16 and always managed to get by some way or another. It was a week after my birthday my daughter was being born and that same night my dumbass had to hurry to get some blows first out west.

As fate would have it my connect gave me like 3 nickel bags of rocks for free. Now I'm on methadone too at the time mind you. It was like i got that high I've been chasing since i started methadone.

Exactly two months later I'm sitting in the county with 3 residential burglaries. Crack will make you fucking crazy dude.
 
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I use to do a bunch of coke when I was like 17/18 like my junior/senior year. Soft was basically the same thing to me back then as opiates are to me now. Due to the high cost, I started selling it at my high school which made me a lot of cash since there were a lot of rich druggie kids in my suburb. Plus I could do like 2 gs to a ball a day and still make money... yeah I was pretty bad off - nose always dripping, black under my eyes, acting all geeked out... Anyway, one of the weed dealers in my school got jealous and he set me up. I got caught with 2 ounces and was charged with possession and intent to deliver - which is a 'felony x' - basically 5 - 30 years... Luckily, it was my first offense and I hired a great lawyer so I was able to get off with 2 years probation. Since then I've been weary of selling as the main way to support my habit or make cash. Having an office 9-5 may be boring but at least it's stable and reliable.

I'll still do coke every blue moon - shooting some good flake is fun if you're drunk or have some dope or benzos to chase it with.. otherwise i feel like after 2-3 lines, hits of hard, shots, etc. it's diminishing returns. At least if you have a powerful downer you don
t get the bad fiending come down feeling.. The last time I did some soft was in like February and if I didn't have dope to do after it, it would've been a shitty night.

I did catch a good nod last evening though = ) I rarely get that itchy feeling anymore but I did just enough to get a good rush, catch a nod for a bit, then snap out of it and finish up some work
 
You got lucky you had a decent lawyer to get your charge reduced. Class X felonies are actually 6-30 years and non probationable. Unless you had Tasc probation.

Residential burglary is a class 1 4-15 years and one of the few class 1s that are non probationable, but i got Tasc probation. I had to sit in the county for 8 months waiting for that shit though.

I had a good lawyer then. I eventually violated my probation and had this arrogant Nigerian lawyer the second time. He couldn't get my probation reinstated because i think my judge hated him. I can't stand the county so as soon as my judge said she was not reinstating me I took the minimum 4 years after just 22 days.

When i was in high school i was able to use powder cocaine "sociable". I think when the crack came along it was just at the wrong time.
 
i appricate you istern ! glad SOMEONE gives a fuck about my well being cause i sure the hell dont.

but ill never do crack/coke/any upper like that man. opiates are the only drug i have problems controlling. dope just dont get me that euphoric high anymore and im quit here in a day or 2. not by choice really all my income sources are dryed up. like i said i dont withdraw that bad i just gatta stay busy and keep my mind off it and ill be fine. REALLLY need a job. Put in sooo many apps with ZERO calls back. FML. and i have a real nice resume for a fuckin 19 yo.

that being said ive done 2 bags of dope today and am curently smokin a bag of crack lol. FLAME shit. i tryed gettin some soft but dude was out already and i didnt wanna wait for him to reup so i grabed some rock. rode my bike out there and shot a fat rock ( with viniger) in the bathroom and took a fat blast as the rush hit me. . . THAT was nutss lol. shootin crack is honastly so disapointing tho. idk how i get higher smokin rock than bangin the same size rock but thats how it works for me.
 
I got 410 probation - basically what that meant is after like 5 years (or whatever the term was ), I could get it expunged which I did. I think it was more the 'connections' the lawyer had. The fucker had a $15k retainer... If I went to trail he said he'd get me off completely but it would cost another $15k which there's no way I could cough up.

the dope man - try careerbuilder.com (or even craigslist). I found literally all the jobs I've ever worked from those two sites - especially careerbuilder.com. The job I work now is ideal for a guy that's 1 year out of college. I love it! But even before I had a degree I found plenty of jobs that paid like $700+ a week. If you're good in sales you can make bank without having a degree or much experience - it's more a personality thing. I tend to see that a lot of drug users for some reason tend to be good at sales. When I was in school I took some time off to make some money, pay my tuition, buy a new car, etc. I moved to Florida and worked for a commodity brokerage firm. It basically involved making 300-350 cold calls to people pitching investments in gold, copper, silver, platinum, and/or limited liability partnerships in oil and natural gas wells. It was a great job it was commission versus draw so at least I had a guarunteed income even if I didn't get a sale during the two week pay period. It was a fantastic time to be in that business since the DOW was low and so many investors were moving out of blue chips and other stocks and going into commodities - especially precious metals.
 
Yeah dope man be careful, ur only 19. Man i did not get into dope til like 21-22 but man if u r heading down a wretched path. Trust me I'm not preaching but if u applied yourself to something good I knw u would succeed. I have heard the horror story from speakers at na meetings and I am thankful that that is basically the one drug I have not tried... I love being down instead of up but vice versa many years ago. Have a good weekend all just finished up a big pitch this morning so need some rest..
 
Hey, how's everybody. I've been laid up for a whole week. Literally no dope, no booze since last Sat.(even stopped the benzos). My latest fucking OD on the train platform kind made me think that shit's kind of going sideways. Plus, my tol.was kind of high to a point where I wasn't even getting high anymore really,just a brief relief and that's it.
I've had WDs before but this shit just felt like it was going to go on forever!! I never really puked from being dope sick before but this time around it was like the worst food poisoning, that would not stop. I mean it was like fountains from just drinking like a little bit of gatorade or whatever. Unpredictable too! It was like with no warning!! BRAAAGGGHHH!! LOL!
Ugh! I was dreading that shit when I was doing my last bag but kind of knew it had to happen before I actually have some responsibilities in my life and can't just disconnect from life for a week or two.
Anyways, yeah, the body still kind of hurts and I dont want to do a fucking thing all day, everyday but my girl dragged me out today to do a little shopping and something to eat(fucking lost like 15 lbs. in a course of a month and half) After I ate a fat ass city burger, I didn't even want to move!! LOL! But kind of tagged behind her while she shopped and after a few mins. felt like I was walking for miles.
The worst thing is the boredom!!! It's like everyday when you are looking forward to getting fucked up it kind of breaks up the monotony but when you have to start thinking about living a sober life...that's when I lose my interest. lol!
I don't know how my new shitty sobriety will go but at least it will knock down some tolerance. All I know is I couldn't sit on that shit when I start actively looking for a job and if I would stop right before I had to take a piss test, I would feel like shit to actually work.
Bottom line sobriety sucks.
PS @TDM, be carefull with that rock shit man. Back in the days, I fucking shudder at the amount of $ and the stupid shit me and my boys were doing to get that shit.
Idk man, ppl. that smoke rock think they are better than ppl. doing dope but having used and abused both, I think crack is horrible not saying dope is any better but crack is one insideous drug man, you'll phase into doing "normal" shit, that you would never do man and think it's normal, that's the scary part.
Take care folks.
 
Where are our regulars at? Itchy, GT, NSB, etc, etc..

When its common knowledge we're all doing what we do, check in or something. Let us know you're alive at least.

HOW THE FUCK IS EVERYONE?!? :!
 
I just got some pretty good news guys. About 2 or 3 months ago I filled out some job applications just to please my parole officer. Well out of the blue Walmart just called me today and scheduled an interview for tomorrow. I am actually pretty excited.

If I'm not mistaken I believe I put I am a convicted felon on the application online. I heard from a friend Walmart hires felons because I'm pretty sure companies that do get some sort of grant or tax deduction type of deal for hiring felons.

I think a job is just what I need right now. As of now I'm sort of in this dead end where I owe $3,400 to get my license back, but I'm having a super hard time finding a job without transportation and a criminal background.

Wish me luck guys. I honestly feel pretty confident because I actually have a desire to work and I believe the people who hire can sense that sort of thing. Not to mention I have like 6 bags left that I will be saving for my interview. Not all 6 but you know what I mean....
 
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