Ahhh welcome back Chinx hope atl is treating you well... I can't believe that just read that haha a controlled relapse... damn lot of activity since i been on here last...
.. and lol itchy i love reading some of your responses to people makes me
wednesday night: i go to my parent's for work after dinner... i ate a few too many xanies the last hour of work and of course i thought ahh i look sober enough. plus my parents are use to me being always at 'little' high when im around and usually dont give me much shit for it. but apparently i was pretty fucked up and they told me, esp my mom, that it may be a good idea for me to go detox for a few days... so im like fuck it whatever - my tolerance has been reallllyyy high and i'd literally do like a g of raw in a shot to nod... not a good look... anyway, so i go pack a few things, shove 2 rigs and 4 bags of raw into a shampoo bottle because i know from past experiences they people will wait till you're like in a corner crying before giving you a sub.. wed - slept fine of course... thurs i woke up and met wiht like the doc and nurses and such so they didnt give me anything but 1mg klonopin 2x daily and then robaxin, motrin, bentyl, etc. as needed. I did the d i brought with me on thurs and slept great again. Friday and Sat I went through wd's but it wasn't too bad - mostly just a bit of cold feeling, tired/zombie like state, and i didn't sleep at all till Sunday night. On Monday I didn't go to work but I actually did a lot around the house like cleaned the whole place and even stained the deck finally lol.
However, sitting those 2-3 nights without a week of sleep got me thinking. I really need to chill out on the d. I mean I don't wanna brag that I'm like the shit or anything, even though I am (jp) but for real like I managed to make it through college and got 2 degrees despite a ravenous addiction, I have a great paying job for 2 years with the same addiction and despite life's ups and downs, some legal problems (DUI related) but all in all it could be much much worse... I have so many people I know that are 6 feet under because of this... and while i was at that detox like it was 75% people over 50 that were hardcore alcoholics and then like 4-5 people in their 20s all of whom were there bc of opiates... While I was in the detox I was set on going back to methadone since that's how I like functioned best and it really helped with cravings, I didn't want to go on suboxone because I just hate that shit - it did make me energetic when i took it in the mornings but offered me little to no help with cravings and idk i just didn't like it in general. Like when I'm going through WDs I'd rather eat like 120 mgs of loperamide and smoke some strong indica than take suboxone... but anyway I found out I couldnt get into a clinic till Thursday and I needed to go back to work at the latest Tuesday bc I'm already low on paid time off days and the doc at the detox place agreed to RX me enough Kpins to last me till I make it to the clinic... Well from sunday to today I felt fine and I didn't go to any clinic.. I took kpins those days but I felt a low mg of kpin daily is preferable to suboxone/methadone and I just hope the doc will agree to that thought process and RX me some pins. I felt find just taking 2-3 mgs a day of kpin without doing d and I've been trying to get a hold of him to explain the situation so I can see him as my PCP (my old one committed suicide - ironically enough they know each other... long story short, my old PCP was overprescribing, got caught, DEA shut down his practice, he hung himself)...
Anyway, as far as dope though, i've decided i'm going to stick to doing it to twice a week max (3 if special occassion like a bday, holiday, etc). Also, no using 2 days in a row. My gf and I came up with a good system where I'd leave all my cards and shit at home and only take like $30 or whatever with me for food cigs whatever and when I do cop we'll go together and I'll give her the bags minus the ones I plan on doing for that day. We'll see how it works out. It sounds good in theory i just hope it works in practice. If so, I'd save a shit ton of money and my tolerance would be low and I wouldn't get sick. I've done it once since i got out (yesterday) and i did 3 bags. I nodded so hard for like 5 hours like the entire car ride from the north side of Chicago to Lake Geneva to the mistress's house, then over our dinner together, then she comes out the shower and im like laying kind of the way Muslims do when they pray to Mecca because I like dropped a lighter but nodded out before I could pick it up and light my cigarette...... this is off 3 fucking bags... i couldn't of gotten that high no matter how much i put in a spoon before this detox.. its crazy how much tolerance drops after just a few days yet how quickly it will go up. today though i was surprised - no cravings and i actually already went through the kpins... i don't smoke weed much anymore but today i'm definetely going to take the top off the jar and stink up the house :D
well guys.. it's that time.. my metra is bout to leave in like 20 mins and that's exactly what im gonna do when i get home = ) take care people