Chemistry

I know that right now I am totally destroying my body and have been for almost a straight year. I haven't been this bad since high school and my first couple of years at college. I don't know how I haven't been committed to either an in-patient program or an insane asylum. That line in The Departed, he says "I'm Irish - I can deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life." Well that's pretty accurate, but my Italian side makes me impulsive and manic. Actually, I don't know if any of that is accurate at all because I can't even get out of bed without taking 5 pills which means that I really don't know much about myself at all. It's all one big blind-spot, and I'm actually okay with that.