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Cheating blamed on X

Thanks cacophonaut, I really appreciate the kind words. My x use to tell me how ignorant I was for helping others so much and that I needed to devote all my time and attention to him, and learn to be selfish, but thats not who I am. I spent every day with him and we spent a lot of time together, but when people were around, time to hang with friends, of coursed I divided my attention, it never seemed wrong to me .

I can see now all the mistakes that were made and I have greatly learned from them. Yes, we spoke of a threesome before the said event, but he also stated if he wanted anybody that he would clear it with me first and we would discuss it before anything happened. That also sex would not be involved, if I were to try it, it would be messing around, it would make sense because if I flipped out not much happened. He also stated he didn't want sex and all he wanted was a bj. I was like, I could work with that. But like you say, mdma brings out a lot in people and he may of just said fuck it and went for it. She may of also egged him on, after all, she is the back stabbing type. I should of never allowed her to be around my bf, then again, in a way I am glad it happened so I know the truth behind both individuals. If he didn't do it to me with her, he would of done it with someone else. I also rather be with someone who appreciates me for all I do. So said event was good for me in the end to get away, as fucked up as it was, but it still hurts. But I guess, once the memory stops hurting, I will be more able to embrace it for allowing me to be free from the whole mess.

When I come down, I often just space out for a few hours, than I eventually go to bed, after a long sleep I feel tired but nothing else.

The x and I still talk and he wants to try to be friends and work through the problem, which I don't mind, but I will never trust him again. I am also tempted to show him this thread and this board so he can learn more about what he is doing. Also that I am no fool. I don't know if it would even help, he may just say all of you are idiots so he doesn't have to own up, but I feel like he should if he wants to be my friend....
 
Too bad that i don't have a friend like you here in Portugal ahah..

I have very close good friends here in Portugal but it lacks someone with that spirit of party, rolling, take good care of each other, etc.

Keep doing that and how matter other people yell at you, just ignore because you are doing the right thing, and its because people like you that keep the spirit of rolling/partying alive.


OnTopic: I'm sorry about your story, i think your boyfriend just didn't realize the good person you are, so fuck him.. Go out tonight, go meet some new people, go out with your friends, just don't think that you have done bad things.. And if they were naked, its obvious..

Cyaa :)
 
I have taken way way way too much MDMA countless times and I'm sorry to say it but mostly all of these people are wrong - you don't just "hallucinate" two people having sex in a bed beside you. Closed eye visuals are patterns or dreams or what have you and its easily discernable from real life. You took what one? Maybe two? Don't buy in to that shit. You saw what you saw, period.
 
Brief hallucinations happen- this sounds like it would have to be minutes of activity, so I really reallllllly doubt you imagined this all as the result of MDMA. MDMA is not a dissasociative or primarily a hallucinogen- I'm glad you are no longer associating with them. MDMA made me a better, more empathetic loving person. I don't think I could ever do something that horrible to someone, I don't understand how people can experience something like MDMA and do something so horrible to someone.
 
I wouldn't show him the thread. He knows what he did, he just isn't going to own up, no matter what you do. Some people are like that. If you can't be friends without him admitting it, then just tell him that, and then have no further contact. (Why do you want to stay friends anyway?)
 
If you tell me where he lives I can put him down ;)

That's disgusting. I would beat the shit out of that girl and fuck your ex's best friend if I were you.
 
I personally dont think you had hallucinations. Just think - they fuck near you, then they say its a drugs, dude wake up!!
 
Everyone has given me great advice, thanks so much! You have no idea how much this has helped me get through the whole memory of the ordeal. My x doesn't realize what he had, his lost! I saw him not too long ago and tried to do the whole friend thing, but all he was interested in was hooking up. I was like for realz? LAWL. Should of expected that. I told him I had a new boyfriend and I was quite happy, than he got mad and said, I thought you were going to take care of me sexually. Woooooow, were not dating anymore dude, I think when you have sex with your girlfriends best friend, call her crazy and blame it on the MDMA, you've burned that bridge. >.> I finally decided to cut ties and not deal with it anymore, haven't spoken with him since that day.

But now I know for sure after talking to everyone, I was not hallucinating. And I am already a caring individual and when in MDMA I literally turn on uber mom mode, and take care of everyone, its just in my nature. For him to be able to do such horrible things to me while on it, only just goes to show I need to be with someone like me, improving my life, not destroying it.

I was very close to beating the shit out of her, even going against my nature (I never fight! or threaten), but was so very close for the first time in my life, its not a good feeling, I was just so messed up it didn't happen and even told her after the fact, if I ever catch her around his house (I moved down the street HAHAHA) that it would not end well. Never hated someone so much in my life. >.< I try not to feel that way but can't help it sometimes. And if my x had any friends I would >.>

But again, everyone is right, why do I want to be associated with anyone who would do so many fucked up things to me. I've finally moved on. Thanks everyone!!
 
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You sound like you are dealing with it very well, and you've made some great realizations. Your post here has helped me realize some things too so thank you! And good luck as you move on.
 
Just wanna throw this in there..

When i was coming down off of MDMA once i was trying to sleep on the floor while my gf and friend were in the bed next to me (they'd gone to bed earlier) and while laying there i could hear some dodgy noises..

I KNOW that it was all in my head though.. my mate wouldn't do that.. plus i ended up getting in the bed anyway cos i couldnt sleep on the floor.
 
Hallucination? Nah I don't think so!

Honestly, as harsh as it may sound, it's probably a good thing that this happened to you. Don't get me wrong - the way it happened it complete bullshit, but if it seems pretty clear that this punk-ass didn't give a fuck about you and who knows what would have been if you didn't get rid of him. I mean who the fuck does that? Have sex with your girl's friend while she's in the same bed as you?

Like others have mentioned, you are taking it extremely well and the fact that you are able to take away the positive from this shitty situation is so refreshing. You don't know how many times I have seen a story or heard about someone who stays with their significant other despite how much of an asshole, abusive or negative they are. Major props!

Oh and you remind me a lot of myself, the whole catering to everyone's needs and making sure everything is alright. Call it compulsive behavior, or just call it compassion, it really says a lot about your character. This is why I hate throwing parties. I cannot bring myself to enjoy them, instead I am wandering around making sure everyone is fine, no one is having a bad time, no one is causing issues, etc...

I know a lot of people will claim that "no good deed goes unpunished" and while I seem to agree with this more than disagree, it's just the type of person you are! One day you will just meet someone who is willing to accept your graciousness and reciprocate.

Best of luck and stay away from this dude. Really do though, don't be one of those girls who gets used by a guy just looking for a "fuck buddy" or whatever. You owe it to yourself!
 
Such things have happened to people I know, specifically to girls when they have taken strong/potent or alot of MDA. MDA tends to make girls hallucinate a shit ton of weird things, ime.
My brother once couldn't keep his eyes open and kept telling me he thought he was dreaming.
If your sure you had MDMA though. No fucking way. Never had it happen on MDMA.
 
^ I and other people have. High doses can lead to similar hallucination as MDA.. maybe cos 10% of MDMA is converted to MDA by the body.
 
yes mdma can make you hallucinate on high doses and mda can make you hallucinate even more. i highly doubt you'd get auditory hallucinations of them moaning matched with visual hallucinations of them naked having sex. i've hallucinated a good bit on mdma and mda but gotta say it sounds like they're trying to play you for a fool.

even if it was all closed eye visuals and you imagined it, the background story you provided paints them both are not being worthy of being your friends. in all likelihood from what you posted, it sounds like it was no hallucination.
 
poopstation said:
yes mdma can make you hallucinate on high doses and mda can make you hallucinate even more. i highly doubt you'd get auditory hallucinations of them moaning matched with visual hallucinations of them naked having sex.
Click to expand...

1 would make the other happen ime.
 
Damn thats fucked up.........i doubt that's a hallucination i havent seen shit like that even of some hard ass psych's
 
MDMA / MDAs hallucinations are alot more real than true psychedelics..

A common thing on real high doses is to start having conversations with people that aren't there.. that how real they can get.
 
Some people are so fucked up like that it's almost impossible to tell them they're wrong because they'll lash out at you and say you're wrong. These people are best left alone. Not everyone is like that, you just got caught up with some shady people <3
 
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