Chapter II: The Abyss is Eternal !

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The Wizard of the Creek said:
Unfortunately, it is super cheap to make, easy to distribute, and unfortunately, super deadly and impossible to taper. Because of fentanyl’s extremely short half-life you need to re-up within hours or suffer the worst withdrawals within a few hour after your last shot. Other opioids can’t touch fentanyl tolerance because of it’s crazy affinity to the receptors, and the amount of even heroin just to stave off withdrawals is obscene and frankly wasteful. I also kicked heroin about 8 years ago right before fentanyl started showing up in everyone’s bags. I got that monkey off my back, and I’m grateful I did, or I mosdef would be dead a while ago.

I carry Narcan nasal spray in my pocket, because people in my neighborhood keep ODing in the city park adjacent to my house. Fentanyl isn’t even euphoric, it’s just super addictive and it will kill you without that feeling ‘good’. Anyone that says they love the buzz from fentanyl is lying, or they have never tried real heroin. Fuck fentanyl, even in a hospital setting with a team of people, shit can and does go wrong. At least there, you have a chance to reverse it. On the streets your fucked.

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Also: I will be 6 years opiate free October 4th
 
MemphisX3 said:
I stopped using right before fentanyl got big in my area (2014) and back then people would hear shit was laced with fentanyl and stay the fuck away. Now, according to an old friend of mine sti using, people actually look for it over H.

One of my last shots was laced with fentanyl and as soon as it hit me I wasnt sure if I was going to be able to battle thru it. I have heard a lot of people say fentanyl doesnt have a rush but IME with fentanyl laced "heroin" and oldschool gel fent patches that is certainly not the truth. It's like a morphine rush x 1000. You feel that shit DEEP in your chest and that shit rings your ears. It would also make the insides of my ears and back of my throat itch like a super strong morphine shot and then you would be dead to the world. That shit would buckle your knees for you so you could pray to make it thru that shot. Fuck that noise.

I have also seen people like legit wig out after shooting fent. Multiple people. So weird.
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You detailed it in a best way anyone can.
I like it.
Captain.Heroin said:
Need fucc. May have to settle for tomorrow.
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You're always in need of a fucc. But it's okay, we allow you to fucc.
 
Fuck, I have a lot to do today and I just have 0 motivation... I'm staring at that bag of Phenibut like hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I also know if I get all manic on phenibut, I'm inevitably gonna drink a 6 pack of beer tonight.... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
 
schizopath said:
Take the phenibut and do your work and after that reward yourself with a beer or two
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It will never be a beer or two. I'm not delusional. I'd rather have a 6 pack or no beer at all. It's not enough to just scratch the itch, I wanna catch a buzzzzzzzzz. But yes, the intent would be to get a solid few hours work/chores done, then reward myself with ze beer.
 
schizopath said:
I meant if you bought only one or two, but since you prefer a buzz go for the six-pack. You got a good thing going on, I hope, with your work so try to keep it at that. I really respect your new business.
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Thanks man, I appreciate that. It's going to be a grind for awhile, but hopefully it all comes to fruition and I'll have a good thing going (that I can say I developed right from the start and be proud of). Anyhow, like you said, work hard - play hard.
 
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The Wizard of the Creek said:
You and I got out just in time. I am so grateful that I never have to worry about being being dope sick again. I joined these forums 10 years ago, DF to be precise, for the sole purpose of finding out how to quit heroin as painlessly as possible (ps there is no painless way to do that). My stupid ass eventually got off of methadone (worst withdrawals ever) a few years later, and I started to get really smart with my drug use. I like to think that I do drugs much better now and I actively step right around pitfalls of addictions like heroin. I actively try to stay out of the abyss (no offense to this thread).

🧙‍♂️
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I had to kick methadone in jail when I got locked up my final time (this is what got me on the right track to kick opiatea). God it was PTSD style hell. I dont even like to talk about it irl.

Fucking 9 days no sleep and no eating. By the time my brain finally gave out I was hearing voices in my cell and seeing shadow people, losing time, couldn't control my emotions. God damn it was terrible.

I avoided this site at all costs for the first 4 years after getting off. Was jsut too difficult to deal with all the content and emotions behind them etc. I would only check the shrine to make sure none of my old BL folks ended up in there.

I mean you dont get to 4+ years without learning the essentials to staying off opiates...or any drug really. I feel a lot more comfortable doing a lot of things I didnt 2 or 3 years ago because 3 years ago those things would have given me issues with staying clean even if it was just putting s form of thinking in my head (I didnt do graffiti or sketch graffiti for 4 years because so many elements of it were jsut not conducive to what I was doing).

Respect to you sir for getting off that crazy train.
 
Today I stared at a Praying Mantis for about 20 mins completely sober. I think I am slowly losing my grip on sanity. I was tilting my head from side to side to mirror it and we shared some kind of connection. Then Mantis-bro flew into a spider web and I contemplated whether I should extricate him or let nature take it's course on some survival of the fittest shit. I left him, but he managed to free himself. Then Mantis bro put himself in a window sill where he would get squished for sure. I figured I'd help him out that time and moved him to an Olive tree. I hope my Mantis bro is doing alright and hasn't been eaten by a toad or a bird. I hope he has overcome his deathwish.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
 
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