Chapter II: The Abyss is Eternal !

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"I drink alcohol because it tastes good" - My mom

"why is there no non-alcoholic wine or liquor?" - me

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
 
I AM A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING. I RADIATE POSITIVE ENERGY AND LOVE.

idk what drugs to buy people

some shitty black tar? meth? expensive coke? or a bunch of benzos?

already bought some more acid, obviously

(serious question)

I'm tired of alcohol would almost rather be a junky again
 
Captain.Heroin said:
for real?
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Yeah, I am really beginning to think so
Xorkoth said:
Wow, for real? Do you want to talk about it?
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Yeah. I don't mind talking about it.

I've been struggling with low libido ever since I got clean. I always assumed it was my brain chemistry or adjusting to life without chemsex. But 5 1/2 years later, this should not still be an issue 😳

I'm totally disinterested in guys, but I find myself really being attracted to women and having romantic feelings towards them where before it was more of just a fun sex thing. I still look at guys and see that they're attractive in one way or another, but do I want to actually bang them? Nah
 
Interesting, did you used to definitely want to be with men, or do you think maybe you were just trying to want to be with men? Like, have you always felt this way deep down, or has it shifted as you've gotten older?
 
Xorkoth said:
Interesting, did you used to definitely want to be with men, or do you think maybe you were just trying to want to be with men? Like, have you always felt this way deep down, or has it shifted as you've gotten older?
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I think it's always been there. I used to jokingly say I was 99 percent gay. (But was I even joking?!) I love women, always have, but I wasn't really able to emotionally connect to women because I did not respect them. I seem to be this complicated mix of masculine and feminine. Masculine tendencies seemed to emerge in female interactions. I'd feel more submissive and feminine with some males.

I had some fucked up mommy issues. I think I have resolved the majority of those issues, and I'm beginning to see women in a different light.

I never thought I'd be having an awakening of my sexual identity near the middle of my life
 
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