Crossposted from another thread. Names removed out of sheer politeness.
Thank you, Mask Man.
I'm in love with adderall (dextroamphetamine saccharate, dextroamphetamine sulfate, racemic amphetamine aspartate monohydrate, and racemic amphetamine sulfate). I hate the term 'adderall' adderall, by the way, but there's not a bull dyke rats chance in hell that I'm saying dextroamphetamine saccharate, dextroamphetamine sulfate, racemic amphetamine aspartate monohydrate, and racemic amphetamine sulfate every time the word pops up in phonetic discource.
I cannot fucking BELIEVE that I suffered through high school distraught, confused, and miserable because I couldn't figure out why I didn't want to participate in anything.
You'd think a gaggle of half-whit teachers who complain everyday about how "smart I am but why don't you get good grades?" would figure out that I had inattentive a.d.d.
I'd be sitting in the back ignoring the math lesson because I couldn't possibly get interested in a subject like that without forced intention and medication; reading War and Peace, Heart of Darkness, Finnegans Wake, Junky, etc etc.
Gym too. What a bunch of bullshit that was. Yeah lets turn a bunch of immature clique-mongers onto something that involves competition and then expect them to go back to their studies without brooding on being picked on by some asshole who can kick a soccer ball slightly better than you can, even though you've no logical reason to kick a soccer ball.
I sat on the bleachers and read books everyday. The public schools in this country are a fucking joke and it's not by some stroke of bad luck, it's systematic and fucked.
/rant.
Now. It's clonazapam, dexamphetamine, gabapentin, pregabalin, and 2 quick lagers to the rescue!
Off to work. See you in 6 hours.
End installment one.______________________________________
I've been on my fair share of stimulants before for my crazy. I've over ten years experience with plenty of stimulants including a mindless 3 month binge on cocaine at the age of 16 that yielded me 3 ounces which I promptly snorted every change I got (affected positively my horrid social phobia and taught me to interact and talk with strangers). As far as my last 6 month stint with adderall (IR's this time) I didn't have the proper anxiety medication I have now, and was still on SNRI's that took 4 years of protracted withdrawal to get over.
The adderall actually makes me nothing but productive, when coupled with the regimen I'm on. I've been tinkering around 14 years trying to pinpoint my absolute symptoms and research pharmacology, brain science, and any and all potential medicines that could possibly provide for me a functional life (living in this isolated culture we all share).
Right now I have strong resolve and determinationesque goals. I've got huge changes happening currently and it's beyond stressful but I'm absolutely content and functional. First time in my life that's happed, I've been on them a week and a half.
I take breaks every now and then, but I also use dextromethorphan polistirex daily to prevent tolerance (works for the other meds too, including the benzos). I'm going to start using memantine again when I have the money to order it. Amazing revelations in that NMDA antagonist tolerance thread in ADD I must say.
Also, I take 3 75mg lyrica spansules per diem. I'll typically take those orally. Since I was put on the amphetamine salts I've managed to cut the lyrica down to 2 a day maybe even less, but occasionally I'll snort one just for kicks as I've no recreational drugs at the moment and quit drinking to fill that void.
I also have 3200mg neurontin per month used for pain. They're excellent euphoriants/antidepressents as well, drawbacks being A) the poor absorption at the receptor sites which is easily bypassed by taking 100 - 200 mg every 30 - minutes and you can cut your daily imbibing of them 60 - 75% saving quite a bit of cash, and B) They tend to make me manic with racing thoughts and impsulive behavior, though they feel great to take regardless of it. Best thing for benzo withdrawal bar none, lyrica being second best. I love being scripted both of them, and in such high doses! I'm a charmer, I can't help it. I was born this way.
How did you think it possible I've all of this beautiful art etched onto my skin done by fabulous artists, some of them being almost 'C' celebrities in their trade. I'm cute, charismatic and charming. I'm not even Jewish!
It's not my fault I'm adorable. It gets you stepped on early in life whilst realizing how to deal with people. Just adopt misanthropy as a general rule, and after careful intuitive scrutiny, give them the green light. Sounds insane, and it is in a general way, on several levels, but it's pure and adequate if only for the fact that it works.
I'll follow up in a few weeks and tell you if the adderall still has as positive an impact. I just smoked a jiont some customer at work gave me for a dutch I didn't charge him for (I later bought it for him after he'd left, since I don't steal). It's not great weed so I'm not feeling the best, its been months since I've gotten stoned.
Just took 2mg Klonopin, that joint, A 24 ounce cup of beer, 10mg adderall xr, 200 mg neurontin, and a cookie.
It's nice to have my appetite back I've been getting strong anorexic effects since starting. I can eat a meal if its put in front of me, but unless someone offers it to me I just haven't even the slightest inclinations about food. Hope that will go away.
Maybe I should start smoking a bowl before meals. I tried that experience last night and although the cannabis was of poor quality which was likely the reason I didn't quite benefit from being stoned like I normally do, I should have been have great insight and euphoria from that joint. First one in months, should have split my cranium absolutely sideways especially with all of the other shit I have coursing through my veins. Maybe it was just retro-grade shit (it was in fact pretty bad comparatively). A nice Indica would do the job, but I need a job so thats out of the question. (I keep making these unintentional puns and I fucking HATE PUNS, this is a recent phenomena I've notice within the last 3 days).
One joint won't bother me testing-wise I shouldn't think, it'll be out of my system in 5 days and furthermore, I've filled out 20 online applications since starting this adderall (efficient little energy bombs that they are), and I couldn't even tell you how many resumes I've given. Wasted ink. Haven't gotten one phone call. I'd call the bastards and guilt them into allowing an interview out of me, but my phone is prepaid and I can't afford to be on the phone for more than a minute or two. At least one of those resumes landed me this sweet little gig that I got cooking right now now. Don't pay much, but I'm the only manager there at all times and can do whatever I fucking jolly well please, as long as I keep the customers happy (these seldom interrupt, its a slow store). Being half outside kind of sucks in the winter, but I've gotten used to it over the years.
I need some MXE as well as a wee bit of 5 mep mipt. That joint was the first non scripted drug I've taken in months.
_
I had just wrote a bunch more shit (this post was kept by auto-save) because I wrote this last night and it fucking vanished when I blundered, tripped over my lower intestines and closed the tab on accident. Fuck you, auto-save. Where's the 1000 words I just wrote? As I wrote that sentence the little blurb yellow 'auto-saved' reminder came up. I call bullshit. I'm just going to change my settings to allow saved content and undo the security settings. Fuck them. If those lecherous pigs want me bad enough to subpoena my I.P. address let em' have a go at it. I've already set up tor on aurora and use OTR with Pidgin and privnote and PGP with thunderbird and safe-mail too for my other 'behaviors.'
Don't need it on this browser though [opera]. I'll say whatever I damn well fancy and not one of you puritan mutants can put a rectangular ebony bar over my eyes and face to protect your children from letting me slap a little wisdom on them.
continued on installment two: "I'm not a comedian, I'm Lenny Bruce."
Thank you, Mask Man.
I'm in love with adderall (dextroamphetamine saccharate, dextroamphetamine sulfate, racemic amphetamine aspartate monohydrate, and racemic amphetamine sulfate). I hate the term 'adderall' adderall, by the way, but there's not a bull dyke rats chance in hell that I'm saying dextroamphetamine saccharate, dextroamphetamine sulfate, racemic amphetamine aspartate monohydrate, and racemic amphetamine sulfate every time the word pops up in phonetic discource.
I cannot fucking BELIEVE that I suffered through high school distraught, confused, and miserable because I couldn't figure out why I didn't want to participate in anything.
You'd think a gaggle of half-whit teachers who complain everyday about how "smart I am but why don't you get good grades?" would figure out that I had inattentive a.d.d.
I'd be sitting in the back ignoring the math lesson because I couldn't possibly get interested in a subject like that without forced intention and medication; reading War and Peace, Heart of Darkness, Finnegans Wake, Junky, etc etc.
Gym too. What a bunch of bullshit that was. Yeah lets turn a bunch of immature clique-mongers onto something that involves competition and then expect them to go back to their studies without brooding on being picked on by some asshole who can kick a soccer ball slightly better than you can, even though you've no logical reason to kick a soccer ball.
I sat on the bleachers and read books everyday. The public schools in this country are a fucking joke and it's not by some stroke of bad luck, it's systematic and fucked.
/rant.
Now. It's clonazapam, dexamphetamine, gabapentin, pregabalin, and 2 quick lagers to the rescue!
Off to work. See you in 6 hours.
End installment one.______________________________________
[COLOR="#FF0000" said:snip[/COLOR]?;10237483]How experienced are you with use of amphetamines for functional enhancement? If we were to try to generalize solely from first-time amphetamine users at hour 2 of effects, we'd think these drugs absolute panaceas.
<snip>
I've been on my fair share of stimulants before for my crazy. I've over ten years experience with plenty of stimulants including a mindless 3 month binge on cocaine at the age of 16 that yielded me 3 ounces which I promptly snorted every change I got (affected positively my horrid social phobia and taught me to interact and talk with strangers). As far as my last 6 month stint with adderall (IR's this time) I didn't have the proper anxiety medication I have now, and was still on SNRI's that took 4 years of protracted withdrawal to get over.
The adderall actually makes me nothing but productive, when coupled with the regimen I'm on. I've been tinkering around 14 years trying to pinpoint my absolute symptoms and research pharmacology, brain science, and any and all potential medicines that could possibly provide for me a functional life (living in this isolated culture we all share).
Right now I have strong resolve and determinationesque goals. I've got huge changes happening currently and it's beyond stressful but I'm absolutely content and functional. First time in my life that's happed, I've been on them a week and a half.
I take breaks every now and then, but I also use dextromethorphan polistirex daily to prevent tolerance (works for the other meds too, including the benzos). I'm going to start using memantine again when I have the money to order it. Amazing revelations in that NMDA antagonist tolerance thread in ADD I must say.
Also, I take 3 75mg lyrica spansules per diem. I'll typically take those orally. Since I was put on the amphetamine salts I've managed to cut the lyrica down to 2 a day maybe even less, but occasionally I'll snort one just for kicks as I've no recreational drugs at the moment and quit drinking to fill that void.
I also have 3200mg neurontin per month used for pain. They're excellent euphoriants/antidepressents as well, drawbacks being A) the poor absorption at the receptor sites which is easily bypassed by taking 100 - 200 mg every 30 - minutes and you can cut your daily imbibing of them 60 - 75% saving quite a bit of cash, and B) They tend to make me manic with racing thoughts and impsulive behavior, though they feel great to take regardless of it. Best thing for benzo withdrawal bar none, lyrica being second best. I love being scripted both of them, and in such high doses! I'm a charmer, I can't help it. I was born this way.
How did you think it possible I've all of this beautiful art etched onto my skin done by fabulous artists, some of them being almost 'C' celebrities in their trade. I'm cute, charismatic and charming. I'm not even Jewish!
It's not my fault I'm adorable. It gets you stepped on early in life whilst realizing how to deal with people. Just adopt misanthropy as a general rule, and after careful intuitive scrutiny, give them the green light. Sounds insane, and it is in a general way, on several levels, but it's pure and adequate if only for the fact that it works.
I'll follow up in a few weeks and tell you if the adderall still has as positive an impact. I just smoked a jiont some customer at work gave me for a dutch I didn't charge him for (I later bought it for him after he'd left, since I don't steal). It's not great weed so I'm not feeling the best, its been months since I've gotten stoned.
Just took 2mg Klonopin, that joint, A 24 ounce cup of beer, 10mg adderall xr, 200 mg neurontin, and a cookie.
It's nice to have my appetite back I've been getting strong anorexic effects since starting. I can eat a meal if its put in front of me, but unless someone offers it to me I just haven't even the slightest inclinations about food. Hope that will go away.
Maybe I should start smoking a bowl before meals. I tried that experience last night and although the cannabis was of poor quality which was likely the reason I didn't quite benefit from being stoned like I normally do, I should have been have great insight and euphoria from that joint. First one in months, should have split my cranium absolutely sideways especially with all of the other shit I have coursing through my veins. Maybe it was just retro-grade shit (it was in fact pretty bad comparatively). A nice Indica would do the job, but I need a job so thats out of the question. (I keep making these unintentional puns and I fucking HATE PUNS, this is a recent phenomena I've notice within the last 3 days).
One joint won't bother me testing-wise I shouldn't think, it'll be out of my system in 5 days and furthermore, I've filled out 20 online applications since starting this adderall (efficient little energy bombs that they are), and I couldn't even tell you how many resumes I've given. Wasted ink. Haven't gotten one phone call. I'd call the bastards and guilt them into allowing an interview out of me, but my phone is prepaid and I can't afford to be on the phone for more than a minute or two. At least one of those resumes landed me this sweet little gig that I got cooking right now now. Don't pay much, but I'm the only manager there at all times and can do whatever I fucking jolly well please, as long as I keep the customers happy (these seldom interrupt, its a slow store). Being half outside kind of sucks in the winter, but I've gotten used to it over the years.
I need some MXE as well as a wee bit of 5 mep mipt. That joint was the first non scripted drug I've taken in months.
_
I had just wrote a bunch more shit (this post was kept by auto-save) because I wrote this last night and it fucking vanished when I blundered, tripped over my lower intestines and closed the tab on accident. Fuck you, auto-save. Where's the 1000 words I just wrote? As I wrote that sentence the little blurb yellow 'auto-saved' reminder came up. I call bullshit. I'm just going to change my settings to allow saved content and undo the security settings. Fuck them. If those lecherous pigs want me bad enough to subpoena my I.P. address let em' have a go at it. I've already set up tor on aurora and use OTR with Pidgin and privnote and PGP with thunderbird and safe-mail too for my other 'behaviors.'
Don't need it on this browser though [opera]. I'll say whatever I damn well fancy and not one of you puritan mutants can put a rectangular ebony bar over my eyes and face to protect your children from letting me slap a little wisdom on them.
continued on installment two: "I'm not a comedian, I'm Lenny Bruce."
