^Don't know why that made me laugh. Regardless, thanks for it!
I know someone who was able to stop smoking with Chantix. I've also heard that it can create some gnarly aggression. Seems to possibly increase depression and be hard on the cardiovascular systm. I guess there's a nasal preparation too, but that it's used for dry eyes.
I think it's mostly a partial agonist--keeping things between a ceiling and a floor of activation--at the nicotinic acetylcholine complex.
Have you considered bupropion? It has the benefit of being useful for depression without sexual side effects as much. Good for bipolar depression too, I'm told. I think it's a nicotine receptor blocker. And a NE/D reuptake inhibitor. Worked well for me for a year, then stopped working essentially. But I was on it for bipolar disorder, not to quit smoking.
In all, chantix appears to be quite the serious med. But if it can help you quit smoking, well that's definitely to be taken into account!