neverending
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2013
- Messages
- 2
Hi All
I'm new here although a long time lurker. I've tried to find the answers to my question but cannot find anything that really helps.
I've been on 200mg tablets of tramadol for around 3 years now. I've reached such a tolerance that I'm now taking around 5 a day and still feel very little. Despite the risks, I've taken more but good luck, rather than good management, has prevented any seizures. To make matters worse I cut the tablets into 8 smaller pieces because the slow release doesn't seem to do anything. I've tried reducing but as soon as there is a major event in my life, it's the first thing I turn to (the truth is, it gives me an excuse).
I also take diazepam, although usually only once a week. I can take an entire box of 50 (5mg) and feel virtually nothing. My doctor thinks I'm taking 4 daily but I don't want a benzo addiction to top off the tramadol. The pathetic part of me looks forward to that once a week diazepam dose despite the fact it's not really doing much anymore (he only gives me a week's worth at a time). Finally my doctor decided to put me on zoloft which I don't think has done much other than cause yet another potent addiction to deal with.
In the past I was a drug addict. I did Heroin for years and ended up on methadone. After much difficulty I got off the methadone after lowering my dose from 120mg to 9mg before jumping off. It was a month of withdrawal hell. Having tried a (very short) bout of cold turkey on Tramadol, I can say, for me personally, methadone was a walk in the park. Tramadol had so many more side effects than just opiate withdrawal. My head zaps, my emotions are all over the place, I feel out of body and a lot of other things I can barely explain. It's a completely insane experience. Now my doctor has changed me to 25mcg patches of Fentanyl (today actually), and I'm scared of how this will impact me. Has anyone else had this experience and if so could you share what you went through and anything that might help. Obviously I'm a self medicator although I'm not doing any illegal drugs. I don't even drink or smoke. I stopped all drugs for ten years but I hurt my back and that just triggered the whole addictive cycle all over again. I've been honest with my doctor and said my back has improved and I know I don't need these meds but my head and physical addiction does. I see a psychologist but in all honesty, it's not really doing a whole lot to help. He thinks stopping the tablets will stop the hand to mouth habit of popping pills each time I feel stressed, kind of like a smoking patch, (his words).
I guess to cut things short, has anyone else done this and how did you go? Also, the truth is, I still have those drug seeking desires. I'm an addict and I don't know how to stop the craving to numb my self to reality. Not wanting to get smashed, just numb.
Sorry if this has already been answered elsewhere and that it's been such a long post.
Any feedback is most appreciated.
I'm new here although a long time lurker. I've tried to find the answers to my question but cannot find anything that really helps.
I've been on 200mg tablets of tramadol for around 3 years now. I've reached such a tolerance that I'm now taking around 5 a day and still feel very little. Despite the risks, I've taken more but good luck, rather than good management, has prevented any seizures. To make matters worse I cut the tablets into 8 smaller pieces because the slow release doesn't seem to do anything. I've tried reducing but as soon as there is a major event in my life, it's the first thing I turn to (the truth is, it gives me an excuse).
I also take diazepam, although usually only once a week. I can take an entire box of 50 (5mg) and feel virtually nothing. My doctor thinks I'm taking 4 daily but I don't want a benzo addiction to top off the tramadol. The pathetic part of me looks forward to that once a week diazepam dose despite the fact it's not really doing much anymore (he only gives me a week's worth at a time). Finally my doctor decided to put me on zoloft which I don't think has done much other than cause yet another potent addiction to deal with.
In the past I was a drug addict. I did Heroin for years and ended up on methadone. After much difficulty I got off the methadone after lowering my dose from 120mg to 9mg before jumping off. It was a month of withdrawal hell. Having tried a (very short) bout of cold turkey on Tramadol, I can say, for me personally, methadone was a walk in the park. Tramadol had so many more side effects than just opiate withdrawal. My head zaps, my emotions are all over the place, I feel out of body and a lot of other things I can barely explain. It's a completely insane experience. Now my doctor has changed me to 25mcg patches of Fentanyl (today actually), and I'm scared of how this will impact me. Has anyone else had this experience and if so could you share what you went through and anything that might help. Obviously I'm a self medicator although I'm not doing any illegal drugs. I don't even drink or smoke. I stopped all drugs for ten years but I hurt my back and that just triggered the whole addictive cycle all over again. I've been honest with my doctor and said my back has improved and I know I don't need these meds but my head and physical addiction does. I see a psychologist but in all honesty, it's not really doing a whole lot to help. He thinks stopping the tablets will stop the hand to mouth habit of popping pills each time I feel stressed, kind of like a smoking patch, (his words).
I guess to cut things short, has anyone else done this and how did you go? Also, the truth is, I still have those drug seeking desires. I'm an addict and I don't know how to stop the craving to numb my self to reality. Not wanting to get smashed, just numb.
Sorry if this has already been answered elsewhere and that it's been such a long post.
Any feedback is most appreciated.
