Change of diagnosis

While I was in hospital, the psychiatrist looking after me said that he doesn't think I have Major Depressive Disorder, or any Axis-I disorder for that matter. He suggested instead that my depression is related to my Borderline Personality Disorder on the Axis-II. I later noticed on my discharge summary that he's officially taken Major Depressive Disorder off my chart, and just kept the Borderline Personality Disorder and Polysubstance Dependence as my diagnoses.

I'm still digesting it all. I'm unsure whether I agree with him or not. Looking at the DSM-IV, I see that suicidal behaviour, affective instability (unstable moods), and chronic feelings of emptiness are all symptoms of BPD. So maybe he's right. Maybe my depressive episodes are merely symptoms of my personality disorder. It honestly wouldn't surprise me, as my BPD symptoms can sometimes get very severe. And I know it's all just labels and stuff, but it does feel good having one less diagnosis on my file.

 

P

I think you're still a cool person to chat with.

I just wanted to let you know you're not alone - there are several people with BPD on this site. They typically are women, who have the inward acting BPD (less annoying than outward acting BPD cases, which more often than not are males).

There's a lot about BPD to say, but overall it's something the user typically doesn't struggle with very much or want to change about themselves. The two men I know who have BPD (the outward acting kind) pretty much refuse to get help for themselves.

The inward acting BPD person may actually want to get help for themselves and this lends to a better prognosis.

It sounds like your severe depressive characteristics fit in better with BPD. If you want to chat about what BPD is like feel free to contact me. I have a feeling I know partially what you're going through, and I know it's something you can help yourself work on through will power, therapy, medication, and or meditation, exercise, etc.

I wish you the best P! A lot of people with BPD struggle with using drugs (specifically amphetamines), so I wish you the best with everything.

I've had some issues with my own psyche recently and am going to go through one of my psych text books to help determine what's going on with me.

I'll telepathy some positive vibes your way! *meditates*

Much PLUR,
-CH

 

^ Thanks, that's given me some things to think about. Yeah I'm aware that there are a few other Bluelighters diagnosed with BPD. My symptoms can be either inward or outward, depending on my mood and the situation. Sometimes I take my anger/depression out on myself, sometimes I become nasty and hurtful to other people.

I would like help (I've done some DBT therapy in the past, but didn't have much success with it. Now that my drug use is starting to improve, I'm considering giving it another try), but the problem is that I'm very pessimistic about it, and I struggle to believe that my disorder can even be treated.

It's not like schizophrenia which can be treated (often to a large extent) through medication. Treating personality disorders isn't so easy... I remember my doctor referring to them as "defects of character" which is probably a fitting description. Modifying your actual character must be a very hard, if not impossible, thing to do.

 

Yeah, personality disorders are somewhat "defects of character" that sounds about right.

However I've met people with personality disorders who aren't that poorly off (they have a more likely chance to live a positive life) and I've met people with personality disorders that are permanently flawed - they were born that way (sociopaths, no chance of fixing their life).

Yeah, medications are somewhat hard to implement for BPD. Anything medicinal could become a highly abused drug, and then it loses its medicinal efficacy (at least in a case of BPD I knew a while ago).

Modifying your actual character is a hard thing to do however I have managed not to be 100% introverted for at least part of my life. I know any character changes take great work but with great work comes great change.

Feel free to PM me some time Sweet P! I like talking to you.
CH

 

^ I personally (and strongly) disagree that introversion is a character flaw. Society values extroversion very strongly, yes, but introversion has its advantages as well.

 

Oh yeah, introversion is a great strength. I guess I was referring more to my social anxiety than introversion.

Anyways, I hope this isn't your last blog entry P!