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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Caved in at 36 hours. Start over 100%????

herbavore said:
NY, I'm glad you had the option to leave work--sounds like a good move for now.

Here is something you could try when you start worrying about the future. The worry brings thoughts of negative outcomes (like, I'm going to have 2500 and I know what I'm going to want to do). When you have that thought, try to replace it with envisioning yourself having a positive outcome. Even if it feels totally unrealistic, simply letting your mind get used to having the positive thought conditions it to generate such thoughts. So you could think, "In the past, having money has always been too tempting. Now that I have had to go through this again, it isn't going to be as hard to resist that temptation." Be aware of your thoughts that feed the addiction and when they come, as artificial as it may seem, plant thoughts that starve it. Learning to truly manipulate your own thoughts is a trip--very surprising outcomes!<3
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And thank you very much herb i truly appreciate. I feel bad not writing more right now and I promise to add more to this when im up to it !!!!
 
Your doing great. Fight, Fight, Fight!! Nothing back there but the endless misery and a start back at the beginning of the reduced tunnel.

What your feeling is temporary. Few days you will see the light. Its the light of freedom.

Nice work!!
 
^^^thank you i just took 60mg addersll since i won't sleep tonight anyway, and have some more for work tomorrow and xanax.

The same girl was just like "you don't want any oxys" and pulled out a huge bag. I didn't give in so I guess we'll see what happens.

I've used uppers in ipiate withdrawal before and it always helped

I also just got immodium. Should I wait a few hours after the adderall to take it because I know the adderall is gonna clear me the fuck out i might as well hold off on the immodium right?
 
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Id just try and role with the stims.

Imodium will take the edge off or more off, but then you will just have taper and kick those.

Its actually a substantial opiate agonist rite in line with morphine, but its flushed so quick out of the BB that it does not make us "high" It does however prolong the withdrawal and will need to be tapered.

Many find it easier to taper as there is no euphoria to resist.

At this point your 1/3 the way through.. nice work!!! =D

Loperamide (Imodium) Megathread v. 2
 
^^^^Hi thanks very much. Gotta be at work in 7 hours won't be sleeping tonight regardless so might as well roll with the stims. Thanks for the info on the lope. I figured I'd use a small dose if needed to get through work but we'll see.
 
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Please don't despair! You aren't the first, and surely won't be the last to fail! By asking for help you show your heart is in the right place, and your shame and guilt about things you've done show good intent and determination, which is a good sign?

The very beat of luck to you, I'm afraid you'll need it - but don't give up> You also won't be the first or last to manage it, and get clean!
 
Ugh voyager thank you for the kind words doll. I truly appreciate it.

And NSA, i didn't even want to come here because of having to say I took a 30mg at the 72 hour mark. but im not letting it get me down. I'll be trying again starting at 5am tomorrow, took friday off work, so I'll just have to get through the day with a 3 day weekend. I care less about myself and care more about all the wonderful persons time i wasted who tried supporting me with this thread.

But im not giving up, I've never been so determined and my next thread will have a happy ending I feel it.
 
Yo Nygiants1313! Good to hear your update. I'm going to be optimistic here and say that a 30mg dose, is not that bad man. If your being honest with us here, the fact you have taken it down to 30mg, is good shit.

I'm in a really tough spot too man, I have a couple hundred in my bank account and I know I can easily shoot my sis a bejnamin for a few 10mg percs for my molar cavity, But I can't.
 
nygiants1313 said:
Thank you very much? What was your last kick like? How has your recovery been going?
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It's very difficult. I think about it all the time. It's exhausting but past the first couple of weeks you become weaker but stronger inside.
I can say I had more than 30 days on w/d as getting off methadone can be endless. Now it's one day at the time.
The reason I posted that was due to my 27,5 years of addiction all together. 7 only on methadone and even though I was quite discreet I tried to stop it during all my life.
Until I finally succeeded - so far!
Before BL, I thought it was okay to live the rest of my life sober on methadone. Living a normal life.
I was definitely living a very shitty life. Not that my current life is great but I feel better.
I think I've gone through 40-50 withdraws and each was worst than the previous one.
Good luck!
 
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Ignot said:
Yo Nygiants1313! Good to hear your update. I'm going to be optimistic here and say that a 30mg dose, is not that bad man. If your being honest with us here, the fact you have taken it down to 30mg, is good shit.

I'm in a really tough spot too man, I have a couple hundred in my bank account and I know I can easily shoot my sis a bejnamin for a few 10mg percs for my molar cavity, But I can't.
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Wuddup man! Yea I was being honest haha, This is the only place I can be honest with this shit. Hoping to be good by monday but thanks for checking back in here.

And if you made it this far dude I'd say fuck it and not get any. We both know it'll be almost impossible to resist the following day after fuckin with them initially. Plus you said you need 800 to fix it right? Get that hustle on, fix it = no more temptaion. ( kinda haha)
 
Erikmen said:
It's very difficult. I think about it all the time. It's exhausting but past the first couple of weeks you become weaker but stronger inside.
I can say I had more than 30 days on w/d as getting off methadone can be endless. Now it's one day at the time.
The reason I posted that was due to my 27,5 years of addiction all together. 7 only on methadone and even though I was quite discreet I tried to stop it during all my life.
Until I finally succeeded - so far!
Before BL, I thought it was okay to live the rest of my life sober on methadone. Living a normal life.
I was definitely living a very shitty life. Not that my current life is great but I feel better.
I think I've gone through 40-50 withdraws and each was worst than the previous one.
Good luck!
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Wow man it's truly crazy when you hear other people's stories who face the same demons. that most deffinitly rings true about the first couple weeks you go from weaker to stronger IF you don't use its disgusting how the second you feel a little better you think "eh it wasn't that bad" and go use again. It's grossly comical if you know what I mean.

How long you been clean? You play with other stuff? Just curious how did BL reverse your thoughts about life on methadone? I heard it fucks up your bones but idk if the girl was a credible source.
 
NYG: Your thread is truly inspiring... you are good at writing... you capture the details of your struggle clearly. I am tapering off of oxy's myself, with a slow taper as my plan, but reading your posts is almost making me consider speeding up the taper and being done with these pills, once and for all. Keep up the good work, and please, please keep posting!
 
P0kemama said:
NYG: Your thread is truly inspiring... you are good at writing... you capture the details of your struggle clearly. I am tapering off of oxy's myself, with a slow taper as my plan, but reading your posts is almost making me consider speeding up the taper and being done with these pills, once and for all. Keep up the good work, and please, please keep posting!
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Hey poke idk if you'll believe what im about to say. But your post made me feel (not that I can feel) un-fucking-believable and moved me in a way words can't describe. After that 30mg i did the next day I used a 15 and am back at 30hrs today in withdrawal at work ready to lose my mind until I read your post. I kinda feel like im past most of it and By monday I'll be at 4 days. I still wake up cold and drenched in sweat with every muscle hurting but I see the light and after reading your post i truly felt a wave of inspiration. Idk how to explain it, but i put my headphones in blasted my music and something weird awoke inside of me.

Im not gonna lie, I'll probably get blasted off addrrall and xanax the next 3 days but I've used them to get off before. But possibly not because my dad is taking my paycheck this week :) so still undecided.

I hope you get out of this hell eventually too, and I commend you for the effort and if you ever wanna bullshit PM me.

Thank you, and I wish you the best! It seems you know your time is coming and I hope it all works out which I know it will.

And I know they say you gotta quit for you. Partially true but im quitting more for my dad who has sacrificed everything for me and I refuse to watch him suffer because of me anymore. I know for a fact he would make it out if he had to if he was in this position for the family and after my siblings watched mom die recently i think they deserve not to lose me too.

:)
 
i hate the cold turkey train ....if u have self control or a friend to help you can ween off and stay comfortable. best of luck.you are not a junkie
pos..cause everybody has something..don't let em fool u.
 
trutexan said:
i hate the cold turkey train ....if u have self control or a friend to help you can ween off and stay comfortable. best of luck.you are not a junkie
pos..cause everybody has something..don't let em fool u.
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Thanks man totally agree with you its deff a mentality that im sure many share that needs to be worked on!

And unfortunatly i have no self control. Absolutely none. At least not when the pockets are swole with that green lol.

Thanks again.

SOCKO,

What an awesome quirky sentence haha. I Plan on posting monday 4 days no opiates. Only bad thing is the girl I can get other drugs from always has dope and Blues and idk if I'll be able to resist and even though I know i should for some reason I can't delete the number!! It's like my brain WILL NOT ALLOW my fingers to delete the #. It sounds so simple but she's my last connect and I guess thats why I can't do it.
 
P0kemama said:
NYG: Your thread is truly inspiring... you are good at writing... you capture the details of your struggle clearly. I am tapering off of oxy's myself, with a slow taper as my plan, but reading your posts is almost making me consider speeding up the taper and being done with these pills, once and for all. Keep up the good work, and please, please keep posting!
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Yeah, I think this thread paints a very vivid picture of a struggle that seems all too familiar... but that's what it is, a struggle. I've been following your progress religiously since the day you made the first post. Your determination and honesty are quite inspiring, and the fact that you haven't given up despite the intermittent agony you're obviously feeling is encouraging to say the least. It may feel like you're slipping, but you've effectively cut your usage back to chipping, and it's only going to make it easier to stick it out in the long run (you know, I've slipped a little too, but, like you, I have my eye on the prize and I'm not going to be thrown).

This is a great thread, and everybody's rooting for you. Thanks for the play-by-play, I know it's a humbling endeavor.

You got this.
 
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