Relapse Cause of fuck-ups with booze?

[nuttynutskin]

Am I the only one here that seemingly just gets bored sometimes leading to fuck-ups? I'll be doing good as far as being healthy and whatnot and then just think what the hell, I've been doing good for a while I'm just gonna get a good buzz for a day or 2. But it seems like once it's past a day all bets are off as far as stopping and I'll end up in a bit of a bender. So do I really just have to face the fact I can't drink because I won't stop?

 

[Captain.Heroin]

the last sentence...probably, yes. This is what I had to do with things like heroin, bupe etc. I won't be able to control it.

 

[nuttynutskin]

You may be right, all evidence would at the very least suggest that it's a slippery slope for sure. The weird thing is I don't even really get cravings anymore now that I'm mostly sober, but yeah.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Keep an eye on your blood pressure and your liver enzymes. If they get out of control you're seriously fucked IME.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Scientifically what is causing it is overactivation of the NACC. "A drug" or interpersonal/inter-environmental action normally "does it" for most people at least "one thing" will do it for most people (and some people are extremely disciplined/under-reinforced from such stimuli) - my best friend/ex-partner of 5 years, alcohol did this for them. It was just like a very stimulating drug to him than it would be sedating/dissociating like I feel non-alcoholics experience.

NACC overactivation tends to render a "stimulant" type effect even if it is a depressant, i.e. why I would use heroin and be awake/motivated/feeling amazing for 7-8 hours while others would nod out/pass out etc. Yes, there are people who use downers to the point of total inhibition/hypnotic end-game but often those most "reinforced/NACC overactivated" tend to get stimulant like effects from this. It has to do with BDNF increases and the associated "aberrant behaviors/learning" this tends to lead to.

It was heroin/bupe for me that would do this and it just solved all my problems until the HORRENDOUS WITHDRAWAL. So yeah. It is way better just to avoid whatever does this to your brain. Stick to things you can handle. Normally for most people this means cannabis or kava or kratom or...whatever, you feel me?

 

[nuttynutskin]

Keep an eye on your blood pressure and your liver enzymes. If they get out of control you're seriously fucked IME.

I'm fine, I've survived worse.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'm glad you're okay.

 

[nuttynutskin]

I'm glad you're okay.

Thanks. I guess it may be at the point that it's not worth the risk anymore to fall into multiple days of drinking.

 

[Trevylianos]

Keep an eye on your blood pressure and your liver enzymes. If they get out of control you're seriously fucked IME.

I'm absolutely fucked while still in good health due to what a drinking bender causes me to do behavior wise. I haven't assaulted anyone but I was contemplating some things that did not sit right with me a few days ago when I sobered up the next morning.

Thanks. I guess it may be at the point that it's not worth the risk anymore to fall into multiple days of drinking.

Me too. I actually tested out just having like 2 beers a couple weeks back knowing I have a drinking problem and I didn't drink more than that because I wanted to test it however it made me go look for pot which actually makes me wanna drink due to setting off relapses into something I won't get into here which triggers drinking and by that point I'm already acting out in active addiction.

But ya like I usually drink much more than 2 and combine it with other stuff.

Definitely not worth the risk for me and I need to stop entirely. I don't even value alcohol honestly so it's not like parting with a dear friend it's more like I look forward to parting and can't believe how I still mess up with it.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'm was more concerned about people dying from alcohol abuse. I've known some really nice people that ended up with cirrhosis or OD'd mixing with heroin. People I still think about actually. But you're right about lost days. I remember all sorts of really bad behavior I got up to on benders, stuff I'm convinced I would never have done if I wasn't completely bombed out of my mind and with no inhibitions. Eventually I'd tried to go through withdrawal on my own but ended up having to get a benzo drip. My blood pressure was so high the doctors couldn't understand why I wasn't having having a heart attack.

 

[skipperj]

I've never mentioned
what really happened to me thru the years,because they happened
when I was young,and didn't start bothering me until the last 10
yrs. I'm ok just the usual stuff a 67 yr old male struggles with
that cut his left leg half off with a chainsaw at 18, which they
wanted to amputate 4 yrs ago from age related complications,but,
I found a way thru homeopathic medicine and a 55 gal barrel of
pain pills ,got run over by a car doing 40mph ,fell off the
back of Ed hoppers harley into a tree and crushed my left
hip,and 1 of 2 botched arthroscopic surgeries on my right
shoulder from an accident from faulty tie down gear at work.and
a smelting accident where molten lead spilled and burned my
left knee to the bone.The 100 lb pallet that fell off the back
of an 18 wheeler onto my head giving me a concussion was the
worst as i hate the sicking feeling of impending doom that
lasted for weeks. the 2 ruptured discs in my neck from being
rear ended by a van full of kids while i was at a stop
light,that occasionally cause my left arm to go totally numb,and
chronic pain in my neck. and the time I was bum rushed robbed
and my face beaten in, and kicked repeatedly causing my lower
spinal dislocation and chronic pain on left side including my
inside of my left foot ha been numb for 20 yrs.I'll tell you at
times I get really depressed,if I come out living in right now
,this moment, but thru 12 yrs, of AA,NA and being Baker Acted 39
times and recently entered a psychiatric facility, and a
therapist that was also in recovery has helped me,and playing
music,which I haven't done in too long, used to keep me good in
the mind.Basically I've been on a 11 yr sabbatical in almost
total isolation,but that ended 3 weeks ago! This will hopefully
get me back in circulation. From here on I'll never mention what
I just did as I want to slowly start being more positive and
move forward,as I've been accused of being a hypochondriac.I now
realize my family has only been trying to help me,and I'm trying
real hard to participate in their lives, and it's beginning to
feel right. Except for the withdrawals from 8 yrs on methadone,which i managed to get from 80mg/day last yr at this time,to 30mg/day,presently and just quit going to pain mgmt. with no meds.,forgot the other med. went from 6 50mg tramadols /day to none today.I also quit smoking,and drinking 3 2 liter bottles a day of diet dr pepper to say oh boy i'm off to a great change.Well here's what happened.I lost 40 lbs in 2 weeks. Withdrawals began robbing any sleep for 13 days,till I found Kratom gave me 1-2 hrs a day of sleep.Day after 16 days of feeling as if i was coming out of my skin,and almost loosing my mind, I went to the ER 4 times feeling like death is near,Admitted myself to a Psychiatric fac. for Suboxone MAT,but developed extreme chest pains put in an ambulance to an ER,and was told I have to tough it out.No more 72 hr sympathy scripts for the likes of you! Gov wants everyone off this stuff,well the optics are bad,after all 72,000 people died last year from op's. What about the 88,000 Alcohol deaths, lets get perspective all morons in gov.please.I never imagined drinking again,but that's been the only saving my life,and how ironic,as 20 yrs. prior I used to drink to try and end it all! To be honest I was shaking and sick to where i could'nt function and caved in front of a store on MLK blvd and a street remedy was offered by a sympathetic provider of remedies. Still don't know what it was but now i can never get a pain mgmt contract and have basically put myself outside the law,and will blame my lack of knowledge,of how to get free of all this madness,yet oh so normal when using the medicine. By the way I took as scripted,yet, probably could have more. Ok 2 drug test only methadone,1 ?? still waiting to see what that remedy from last chance saloon provided me. I'll have answers in a few days,as i'm coming clean and blaming? well me 1st then who? more on the insurance and other falling thru the cracks reasons for no help.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

nutty my advice to you is, don't drink alone. Which is probably when/where you're most likely to crave it. Just have ONE beer, with friends, and don't let it continue. Ask them to like ration you out one while hanging out somewhere. Or if you go to a pub/bar, esp. the type that have large volume beers, just have one, call it quits, or share a pitcher w/ friends and let them serve everyone including you.

But honestly, probably don't even do that. I can't "just have one" shot of heroin/bupe. It would set my brain off to use until I went through addiction/withdrawal again that's just something I had to accept about myself: it's one of my major shortcomings.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Nah, I'm just staying away totally. If I drink it's to catch a buzz... There's no one beer for me. I mean I already pretty much have given up drinking for a while, it's just that I don't think the rare instances are even worth it anymore. Even from one night it takes me like 2 days to recover and there's other things I'd rather be doing.

 

[SunriseChampion]

Nah, I'm just staying away totally. If I drink it's to catch a buzz... There's no one beer for me. I mean I already pretty much have given up drinking for a while, it's just that I don't think the rare instances are even worth it anymore. Even from one night it takes me like 2 days to recover and there's other things I'd rather be doing.

Sounds like my problem. Massive recovery lag, binge drink or don't drink at all.

I can not drink without problem, but fuck if I get into it with my mates, it's over....we drink it all.
Alcohol's been the only drug I've ever had a real problem with.

If you feel like you can't do it in moderation then fuck it. Personally, I don't even find it enjoyable...not sure how you feel about that.

 

[jb99]

If drinking is a problem, then life is easier if you don't drink.

Seems so simple right.

 

[nuttynutskin]

I don't even find it enjoyable...not sure how you feel about that.

Yeah, it's not all that anymore. Mostly just makes me tired really.

 

[SunriseChampion]

Yeah, it's not all that anymore. Mostly just makes me tired really.

I wish it made me tired. Then I wouldn't have the opportunity to drink for 20 hrs.
It acts in a strangely stimulating way for me. I can be tired on a Friday evening after a long work week, but after a pint or two with certain friends...and....oh, it's sunrise again!

 

[nuttynutskin]

I think what really killed my desire to drink was being taken off of benzos for some reason. I wish I was still prescribed clonazepam, but I gotta admit, being off it really helped put a stop to cravings.