I've never mentioned
what really happened to me thru the years,because they happened
when I was young,and didn't start bothering me until the last 10
yrs. I'm ok just the usual stuff a 67 yr old male struggles with
that cut his left leg half off with a chainsaw at 18, which they
wanted to amputate 4 yrs ago from age related complications,but,
I found a way thru homeopathic medicine and a 55 gal barrel of
pain pills ,got run over by a car doing 40mph ,fell off the
back of Ed hoppers harley into a tree and crushed my left
hip,and 1 of 2 botched arthroscopic surgeries on my right
shoulder from an accident from faulty tie down gear at work.and
a smelting accident where molten lead spilled and burned my
left knee to the bone.The 100 lb pallet that fell off the back
of an 18 wheeler onto my head giving me a concussion was the
worst as i hate the sicking feeling of impending doom that
lasted for weeks. the 2 ruptured discs in my neck from being
rear ended by a van full of kids while i was at a stop
light,that occasionally cause my left arm to go totally numb,and
chronic pain in my neck. and the time I was bum rushed robbed
and my face beaten in, and kicked repeatedly causing my lower
spinal dislocation and chronic pain on left side including my
inside of my left foot ha been numb for 20 yrs.I'll tell you at
times I get really depressed,if I come out living in right now
,this moment, but thru 12 yrs, of AA,NA and being Baker Acted 39
times and recently entered a psychiatric facility, and a
therapist that was also in recovery has helped me,and playing
music,which I haven't done in too long, used to keep me good in
the mind.Basically I've been on a 11 yr sabbatical in almost
total isolation,but that ended 3 weeks ago! This will hopefully
get me back in circulation. From here on I'll never mention what
I just did as I want to slowly start being more positive and
move forward,as I've been accused of being a hypochondriac.I now
realize my family has only been trying to help me,and I'm trying
real hard to participate in their lives, and it's beginning to
feel right. Except for the withdrawals from 8 yrs on methadone,which i managed to get from 80mg/day last yr at this time,to 30mg/day,presently and just quit going to pain mgmt. with no meds.,forgot the other med. went from 6 50mg tramadols /day to none today.I also quit smoking,and drinking 3 2 liter bottles a day of diet dr pepper to say oh boy i'm off to a great change.Well here's what happened.I lost 40 lbs in 2 weeks. Withdrawals began robbing any sleep for 13 days,till I found Kratom gave me 1-2 hrs a day of sleep.Day after 16 days of feeling as if i was coming out of my skin,and almost loosing my mind, I went to the ER 4 times feeling like death is near,Admitted myself to a Psychiatric fac. for Suboxone MAT,but developed extreme chest pains put in an ambulance to an ER,and was told I have to tough it out.No more 72 hr sympathy scripts for the likes of you! Gov wants everyone off this stuff,well the optics are bad,after all 72,000 people died last year from op's. What about the 88,000 Alcohol deaths, lets get perspective all morons in gov.please.I never imagined drinking again,but that's been the only saving my life,and how ironic,as 20 yrs. prior I used to drink to try and end it all! To be honest I was shaking and sick to where i could'nt function and caved in front of a store on MLK blvd and a street remedy was offered by a sympathetic provider of remedies. Still don't know what it was but now i can never get a pain mgmt contract and have basically put myself outside the law,and will blame my lack of knowledge,of how to get free of all this madness,yet oh so normal when using the medicine. By the way I took as scripted,yet, probably could have more. Ok 2 drug test only methadone,1 ?? still waiting to see what that remedy from last chance saloon provided me. I'll have answers in a few days,as i'm coming clean and blaming? well me 1st then who? more on the insurance and other falling thru the cracks reasons for no help.